- A source of security or stability.
- A heavy object attached to keep the vessel in place
During different seasons of my life, there are times when "everyday things" will suddenly impact me in new and fresh ways. coming out of no where and evoking a deep response that would not have happened were I in another place emotionally.
Like a worship song. or a scripture verse. or a piece of Death By Chocolate Cake. You know... the important, spiritual things in this world. *wry grin*
The whole Pregnant Season, for me, always seems to bring about these unexpected heart connections.
Probably because I tend to press in deeper to the Father's heart: clinging to him for peace and comfort and whatever else he has to offer as I set firm my faith in His promises to me (regarding labor and delivery based on the cross canceling out pain and sorrow).
THE VERSE:
One night as I was reading the Word....
Wait, that sounds too pretty. like I was having some all-together, intimate moment where angels were quietly humming in the background as my halo glistened softly against a backdrop of open heavens.
Because trust me, I wasn't anything close to ...*ahem*...that.
I was stressed. probably on the verge of tears. and trying to take deep breaths in attempts to prevent hyperventilation. Bible Roulette was my game of choice, as I groped for anything that would bring me comfort.
There. That paints a much more accurate picture. Wouldn't want you go picturin' me as anything less than a crazy-emotional, woman in the throes of the last weeks of pregnancy. ;)
SO there I was, randomly opening my Bible, hoping to find something. And God, in his infinite mercy, showed me the following:
"Thus says the Lord God: If the prince makes a gift to any of his sons out of his inheritance, it shall belong to his sons; it is their property by inheritance.
But if he makes a gift out of his inheritance to one of his servants, it shall be his to the year of liberty, then it shall revert (back) to the prince.
Only his sons may KEEP a GIFT from his inheritance..." Ezekiel 46:16-17
This was HUGE to me!! I've mentioned that this go round, I don't feel as "on top" of the whole interceding for the delivery. That instead of feeling like I had hours to press in to a place of deeper faith (like last time), I was just having to trust that God still remains true to Himself and His promise, regardless of my being able to do ...anything relatively deep.
Jesus, The Prince (like in that above verse), told me when I was pregnant with Charis that the supernatural, painfree delivery was a gift to me. He reminded me of that promise a few weeks ago, and then He told Jet the same thing out of the blue: that this delivery was to be a gift to me.
Then I find this completely "random" verse highlighting the fact that Jesus does not take back gifts given to his children. that because I am his child, the gifts he has given me before remain my inheritance now.
As "duh" as it may seem to you...it was SO eye-opening (not to mention comforting) to me!
And I do believe at that point there may have been angels humming in the background. You know, as I sat on the couch and stared at the scripture verse in awe. ;)
For the past week, that verse has been read and reread, as I prepare for what looks like a SOON delivery.
THE SONG:
During the last pregnancy, there was one song that particularly ministered to me. And I listened to it over and over on my MP3 player as I labored in the delivery room. Shane and Shane's song "Yearn".
The song ministered directly to the place that the Lord had me.
Last week, the Lord gave me another worship song. One that spoke to my heart directly on the very things that I've been warring for this go round:
That God has done it all, even when my heart and flesh fail...that as the day draws near, my faith will become seen. Because *HE* has overcome.
...which has nothing to do with me, outside of receiving the gift He's offering me: The Cross that did it all, that holds the very Victory that I'm seeking.
I told Jet about it last night and just sat, with tears streaming down my face, as we listened to it together.
Chris Tomlin's "I will rise".
His faithfulness to walk me through this time, even when I'm feeling emotionally unstable continues to be my anchor. my encouragement. my hope.
