Heaven help us ten years from now

These two, aged 34- and 16-months, are stuck in the middle of five sisters.

Little girls who look nothing alike...

yet who have recently become inseparable.

You can hear them all throughout the house, entertaining each other with nothing but their laughter.


Both of them are seriously hilarious all by themselves. So when you put the two of them together, it's hysterical to watch.


I can't even imagine when they're both old enough to conspire together...

Uh...Can anyone suggest a good in-home security system? I have a feeling we may need to install one just to keep an eye on these two.

...Two little girls who look nothing alike. Well, with the exception of those devious little glints in their eyes. ;)

One year ago...

I met my sweet Alana Joy... on my birthday. :) Forever changing the way I celebrate turning another year older. Forever changing the way our family celebrates daily life.

My sweet sweet Lana-lady,

Has it only been a year since you were this little? Has it only been one year since our entire family dynamic changed to include such an incredible bundle of JOY?

While I remember how life was before you, quite honestly, I don't prefer the memory. It doesn't feel complete. It doesn't feel as ...what's the word?...sweet.

You just bring such a light, joyful spirit to our home. There's no other way to put it. Yes, you laugh a lot. Yes, you are soo incredibly sweet, with your never complaining and never protesting. But there's something more to it... something deeper about the spirit that God has put in you.

And I'm yet to pinpoint it. but I rejoice in the fact that I have years and years to define it...and the immediate present, to enjoy it.


This is, by far, my favorite picture of you to date. I think it gives a sneak peak into the tangible joy that is written on your very DNA. It just captures so much of your sweetness.

At this point in life, you're not walking. or even standing for long periods of time. But I'm not worried because it's just like you. For just like the day you were born, you hung out in the birth canal for 45 minutes. unmoving. in no obvious rush.

And then *bam* out you, literally, flew.

That's how you seem to embrace life. You take your time. embracing a content patience that I don't think many possess. And then suddenly out of no where, your new talent and/or stage in life comes flying forth.

Out you fly.

You did it with crawling. You did it with saying Mama and Dada. You just go from all to nothing in a matter of seconds. It seems to be your way.

And I pray the Lord gives me wisdom on how to effectively mother you in a way that doesn't squelch that God-given trait in you. that I won't push you to do something outside of your naturally readiness. that I don't encourage you to become frustrated with by own impatience. that I learn, by watching you, how to sit back and wait for the *bam* Suddenly of God in your life.

You don't say as much as your sisters did at this age, though I think it's mostly because of the fact that you always have your two fingers in your mouth. (hopefully your *bam* mentality will come into play when you stop sucking your fingers...before you turn 10) ;)

But you babble a LOT. constantly trying to engage strangers in conversation. though you are not one to actually want to be held by those engaged strangers. You only like who you know...but apparently want others to take notice of you and your captivating brilliance. :)

At both nap and bed times, you are the easiest little thing. I put you in your bed. we play a little peek-a-boo behind the door. and then I walk out...and you talk yourself to sleep.

I've even gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (preggo bladder and all) and I've heard you talking to yourself. in the pitch black. as content as can be.

You're a climber...and don't like to be trapped behind gates or obstacles. And you definitely don't like being in a different room than your sisters...you watch them like hawks, wanting to be just like them.

The future interaction of all my little girls sooo excites me.

I love my daughters. I love the relationship they all share. I love the fact that I get to be their mom... I think I have to be living out the most blessed life possible.

the lives of my sweet daughters proclaim this loudly. daily.

We celebrated Lani on Sunday with some family. where Jet had the camera, as you can see...

What can I say? I think he likes my body lacks photography skills. Don't ask me what he was thinking. I have my *cough cough* theories...but I'll refrain from making them. *grin*

But good thing is that this would be my first pregnancy pic. Pathetic, huh? But here I am at 25 weeks pregnant. :)

Well what do you know? We have heads. ;) (excuse the blank kitchen wall...I'm yet to find/put up a picture that goes with our newly redecorated home...one day)


Looking at the cake...

eating it, ever so daintily...
Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of her messy face. She started crying once the cake was done. So Daddy picked her up and cleaned her off. Oh well, I'm sure there are many more messy faces in our immediate future, huh?

But she perked back up when she saw her presents...

How I love this little girl! In fact, I'm having difficulty finding the words. But I'm soo soo thankful that all I have to do is wake up in the morning, go in her room, and see her sweet face to be able to experience it all over again.

I pray I never, ever take that for granted.

No words.

Because sometimes *Immense Cuteness* needs no explanation.

Baby powder

It's Raegan's most favorite thing.

I mean what two year old can resist its allure? All you have to do is give it a little shake and voila! out comes puffy white smoke.

And honestly, I usually don't mind. I mean after all, the stuff smells good and is usually an easy vacuum job.

Thus, this is the norm. Splotchy rugs and couches dotted with white dust. No big deal, right?

But today it got a little more out of control.

I present to you the teary culprit:

and the overjoyed victim:

Laughing Lani...

A good friend of mine is currently deciding whether to add another little one to their family. Whenever we talk on the phone, Lani...being her joyful little self...will just laugh and laugh.

Friend says that hearing her laugh makes her "womb hurt".

Which made me laugh! like a crazed hyena. :)

So Friend, per your request, here is little Lani laughing while we were at lunch with my Mom today.

Sorry the camera isn't centered the whole time, as she needs to see my face in order to laugh and I wasn't paying attention.

Note: I was only looking at her and talking to her. I was not touching, tickling, or shaking any part of her. She just loves to make eye contact and laugh....

Quick glimpse...

Today my computer will be shut off. and I will spend the entire day focusing on my girls.

And hopefully the back of my eyelids, as I am ex.haus.ted.

But for now, here's two quick snapshots of my little bitties...

Raegan (23 months) and Alana (5 months)

Isn't it crazy how Alana's head is pretty much the same size as Raegan's? :) Makes me wonder if the girls will soon be the same size.

It amazes me that they're sisters...being as different as they are.

Yet I think that may work to their advantage. helping to cement a solid relationship. where comparisons don't reign supreme.

I mean, who spends time comparing apples and oranges, right?

But one thing is most assuredly the same. I want to *squeeze* them both. Mm Mm, I love me some girls.

Motherhood...

Who knew it could turn you into a wanna-be cannibal??

Because I just want to Eat. Her. Up.

Alana @ 4 1/2 months. Always smiling. Usually laughing. Sometimes sleeping. Rarely grouchy.

That thar girl look differnt, don't she?

It's so hard for me to believe that this little sweetie pie is mine. I know, I know. She's my fourth, so you'd think I would have gotten used to having a new baby by now.

But each one is just so sweet. so unique. so incredibly beautiful in their own way. That this fierce love I automatically feel always puts me in awe. on a daily basis.

And thus far, little Lani has lived up to her name's meaning "Outpouring of Joy". Because she, truly, has been so bubbly from REALLY early on. She started smiling (at people, upon eye contact) before she turned 5 weeks. She started have deep belly-laughs at 2 months.


Can't you see the joy in those eyes? That smile lights up her entire face. It's hard to miss the Joy when you look at her.

As well is the fact that she continues to "have her own look", as so many people say.

So I decided to finally show you where she gets her look. Being that she did, in fact, come forth from my womb... even though all her older sisters are darker in every aspect.

Exhibit A:
My dad's sibling group. Blond Blond Blond. (he's the exceptionally cute one on the far left. with the dirty face)



Exhibit B:
My dad as a young, blond stud. (I just saw this picture last week for the first time. Love it). He's now 60 years old and still blond (with some grey mixed in).

Exhibit C: My brother as a little tot. Need I say more?

Obviously my family has it's share of blond-hair, blue-eyed genetic tendencies. But if that wasn't enough, there's Jet's side...

Exhibit D: Jet's youngest brother, Isaac.

Yep. Blond. Blue eyes. and cute as can be.

I'm thinking my little Blond Beauty is in good company.

Thankful

My mind goes into a thousand directions these days. Christmas shopping. Baking. Wrapping. Planning. Watching my amazingly adorable girls innocently interact with All Things Christmas.

Hence the lack of posts, as I can't seem to keep my brain still long enough to record anything.

Yet. There is one thought that I find myself coming back to again and again. And it all revolves around an indescribable thankfulness when I think of my little girl, Alana.

But first allow me to back up a bit...

Ever since I was a baby, my Mom has bought and/or made me a Christmas tree ornament. After a couple of years, my Nana joined in on the fun. So when Jet and I got married, I came equipped with enough Hallmark Holiday Flair to outfit a 12 ft evergreen tree.

When Charis was born, it was only natural to continue with the tradition. So each year, the girls get all giddy unwrapping their own personal ornaments from when they "were little".

(Note to my incredibly intelligent readers who will want to start this cool tradition: make sure you use a permanent marker to write their initials and year on the bottom. helps to eliminate sibling rivalry over who Frost the Snowman really does belong to)

Well, this year I found the perfect ornament for my little Lani...



Many of you will remember that when she was born, her umbilical cord had two knots. knots that were incapable of being pulled tight because of the thickness and elasticity of the way-healthy cord. And therefore, rendered unable to do damage.

My midwife said she had guardian angels on her shoulders. Because in all reality, outside out heavenly intervention, she should not be with us today.

And it's here that my over-active mind will pause.

Every single day of this holiday season, I have been reminded... as I look into the face of my chubby, happy little girl...that this holiday would be inexplicably different had Lani's "guardian angel" not been assigned my child. had God not saved the life of my little one.

Just as this ornament will remind her, every year she hangs it on her tree, that the Hand of God held and protected her before she was even born.

I got my Christmas gift on September 16th (also my birthday) when the midwife handed me a perfectly healthy baby girl.

Sumo Wrestler

And in this corner...

...it's 9 week-old Buddha Baby. Weighing in at 12 lbs. 10 oz.

Effecting raising her into the 75% for weight. Matched with a whooping 25% for height and 75% for head.

Coming soon to a Sumo Wrestling match near you.

(height was 22 inches. though I could see by the mark the nurse made that it wasn't quite accurate. but oh well.)

All smiles

I don't remember any of my girls smiling...for real...as early on as this little one did. Before she was 5 weeks old, she would meet your gaze, wait, and then burst into a huge grin.

You couldn't deny that her smiles were, most assuredly, not gas. ;)

In following suit with her name's meaning ("A heavenly outpouring of Joy"), she continues to spill joy all over the place. At 8 weeks, she loves to coo and smile and interact.

This picture makes her cheeks look a little larger than they look in real life. But oh well...I still just want to *squeeze* her!

I'm in-love

... with an 11+pound almost 6-week old.

Nothing more attractive

...than a man's man lovin' on his child.

My Clan of Girls

Can you believe it?! I actually got a picture of all four girls together? Of course, Alana appears to be less-than-thrilled. But eh. I figure that's probably par for the course. as someone has to be sporting that look when Mom is armed with camera, right? :)

Even so, I think they're an adorable posse of girls!! I'm excited to get pictures of them together at their different growing up stages. Can you even imagine how cute that'll be?

Yes. I am biased. and gushing shamelessly.

This one's got fire in her eyes. You see it? If not, stick around her long enough. because you'll not only see it and hear it... you'll feel it. She's got enough spunk for three little bitties.

Selah has been going through a stage where she doesn't like for me to take pictures of her. I remember Charis going through it. And then one day *bam* Charis woke up and declared her self camera-ready at ALL times of the day and night. So I know that Selah's new season of "camera shy" won't remain for long.

Especially when she sat herself down by Alana and said, "Take a picture of me."

SURE I will! Stay. Right. There!" And voila! A beautiful picture of my two girls. Classic.

The Miracle No One Expected.

A couple of weeks before delivery, I felt something was wrong.

After calling the OB office, they agreed to see me. monitoring the baby, they watched my contractions and her heart reaction to them. And because they saw a dip in her heart rate when I contracted, they did an ultrasound. finding that my amniotic fluid was low (7).

I was sent to the hospital. And then released when everything checked out fine. I was told to drink water like crazy, which I did to the extent that I felt sick from it all. They checked me again a few days later and said that the amniotic fluid still wasn't good, but was better (11).

Yet.

I still felt something wasn't right. I couldn't explain it. And didn't even try. It just wasn't something that I wanted to put to words. to vocalize. or acknowledge. ...not even to Jet.

So I just prayed, silently. giving my unsure feelings over to the Lord. The only one who could see my little one. The only one who, if need be, make a difference and change what was wrong.

That feeling never really left me. So those prayers of protection were, the last few weeks, always near my heart.

After my precious Alana was born. Everything was going as it should. The cord was cut. She was placed on my chest. She was vigorously cleaned off. I hugged her, in awe that a blond child just came from my womb. in awe of the birth story that God had just unfolded for me.

All was sweet in my world.

And then the midwife spoke: "This little girl has angels on her shoulders. watching out for her."

I remember smiling, thinking that was a random, sweet thing to say. I figured it had to do with the birth experience and Barbara's thoughts on it. But as I looked up at her, I could see that she was talking about something completely different.

For in her hand, she held the umbilical cord, showing us exactly what she meant. A knot in the cord.

But not only one. There were TWO.

Something, she said, you never see. Something you never want to see. Because had the knot(s) becomes tightened, the baby's oxygen supply would have been cut off. completely.

resulting in miscarriage or stillbirth.

It was one of those moments when I didn't have time to think. to process the weight of what she just said. Immediately and spontaneously, I started to pray out loud in my prayer language (some call it "speaking in tongues").

Neither my brain nor my emotions had words for what I knew I was witnessing. So out of my spirit, came groanings too deep for me to express. worship to Jesus too intense for mere words.

I just prayed. I couldn't stop. I didn't care what the nurses or midwife thought of me. whether they thought I had lost my mind. or assumed I was one of those "crazy, out-there Christians". The moment was too intense for me to give them a second thought.

And then when I felt I could pray no more, all I could do was say "Jesus Jesus" over and over again. For I know He alone saved the life of my little Alana...

Sometime after Barbara delivered the umbilical cord, she called Jet over to see it. She couldn't stop talking about how HUGE the placenta was.

She turned it inside out. poked it with her finger. squeezed it with both of her hands. held it up for all to see. She then turned to the umbilical cord, showing all who were interested just how thick the cord was. My mom said it looked like two cords were sewn together.

Barbara went on to explain that it was the thickness and elasticity (health) of the placenta and the cord that kept the knots from being able to pull tight...

and do fatal damage.

Honestly, I still am yet to fathom the full impact of what that all means. There are times when I sit back and try to imagine what life would be like had the cord been pulled tight. It makes me cry to even type it.

For I know my life would mirror a deep sorrow that words can't even express. BUT...and I rejoice in ways I can't express...that that is NOT how the story of her birth ended.

God not only gave me a supernatural, painfree birth. But to my daughter, He gave Life.

And I am forever forever forever grateful as I look into the face of my precious Lani. I am forever reminded of the fact that God intimately watches over my daughters.

The Birth Story- Part 1

Dear Little Alana,

I don't know why but for some reason, this has been a hard thing to write. I feel the responsibility to not miss one iota of what God did during your labor and delivery season.

to process it fully. to dig into the depths of it with a commitment that time just doesn't allow. to document it with all the passion and humor the Lord delved out during those last hours.

But being that He was POURING and POURING out on me while you were being birthed, I'm not sure I could ever do it all justice.

Not to mention the fact that He continues to pour out over my life. So I know I need to write this and move on. Because He sure is... already moving on to the next Faith Challenge in my life. A much larger one, in my opinion.

So for now, here are the bare minimum details. Nothing too deep. Just the facts that skim the surface. I'm thinking the deeper things, the spiritual parallels and revelations, will have to come later. a piece at a time.

I love you and I love your birthing story, my little Lani...

Mommy

........
Tuesday, September 16th I woke up around 1AM. Knowing full well that real labor was going to start sometime in the next couple of hours. I wasn't contracting regularly by any means. Maybe one every 15 minutes. Who knows. but whenever I was contracting, they were hard.

Because I knew the Lord said it was going to be fast and that it'd go from nothing to everything all at once AND that there would be no outward signs (other than contractions)....that we had better get up and get moving.

So we leisurely started to get ready. I say leisurely because I knew I wasn't having the "big" contractions or real labor yet. So why rush? Well, other than the fact that Jet could be forced to deliver at home or in the car. But aside from that small formality. I just wasn't in the mood to run around all crazy like. *grin*

From early on, I had put on my MP3 player and started jamming to worship. (In fact, I didn't take that player off until they delivered Alana and put her on top of me to clean her off.) I knew I needed to be focused and at peace. and for me, worship is the avenue where I can totally focus on the Lord and not myself.

And as we pulled onto the highway that takes us to the hospital, the Lord began to speak. Telling me encouraging things, much like a husband would. And always ending it with speaking my name. Like "You're doing great, Christin. We're almost there." etc.

I can't remember another time when a heavenly conversation has been exactly like that. Ever. Everything he said to me during the drive to the hospital was like that. very gentle. very encouraging. very personal.

You know how the bible says he speaks in a still, small voice? Well, it was like the decibel level had been turned up twenty notches. There was no question when he was speaking. no guessing of what he was saying. no doubt that I was hearing him correctly. Honestly, it's almost like everything else had been silenced by Heaven for this very sacred time between Jesus and me.

I'll never forget it.

Walking into the ER, there was another pregnant woman waiting to be taken up to Labor/Delivery. Jet told the people behind the counter that I was 5 centimeters yesterday, hinting that we were not up for a long, drawn out process of getting my information together. His insistence seemed to speed up their checking me in. Go, hon! So up we went... two pregnant women, together.

As I was wheeled down the hallway, I closed my eyes and envisioned myself going deeper and deeper into his presence. deeper into his authority. I couldn't help but to smile as God gently reminded me of a prophetic word spoken over our church the week prior. "No one will be safe from your favor."

I immediately started praying for the other woman's delivery. knowing that I was carrying the favor of God over my own...and felt God has given me the freedom and authority to speak that over her as well. That whole thing gave me a deep, inner joy. and an excitement for what was to come.

By 3:45AM, I was given a bed. And a nurse that, for some odd reason, decided NOT to give me the standard IV!! Can I get a *Hallelujah*!?

AND the exact midwife that had promised to be on-call for me was, oddly enough, at the hospital. Even though she wasn't scheduled to be there (at least according to what I was told the day before!!) Can I just say God is so into details!?!

She checked me...I was 8 centimeters dilated. almost completely effaced. and just waiting for my water to break. The plan was to break my water...but she had another woman in labor and said, "Since your so calm and at peace, would you mind if I check on my other laboring mom?" :)

While she was gone, I lay there worshipping. And I'm serious when I say it was intense, true worship. I had a hard time not belting out in song and going all charismatic on the labor/delivery floor. *wink*

At one point, the Lord flashed through my mind every single vision, promise, scripture, and word of encouragement that he had given us over the last few months. It was rapid fire. like I was watching a presentation of sorts.

And the last vision, the one that remained on the screen of my mind, was one of a massive warrior with a huge, Barbarian-like sword swinging over his head.

God had given it to me during our two-hour "Labor Session" on Labor Day. He said it represented me, warring in the spirit for victory over my daughters lives. and I believe over the lives of other pregnant women. I couldn't help but to smile. Jet later said he saw me smile and wondered what I was thinking.

After one hard contractions, I knew my cervix had dilated more and told the people in the room that Barbara should probably hurry. Thankfully she was walking down the hall to my room at that time. broke my water. and announced the baby's head was "right there". and that I was 9 1/2 centimeters.

And a half?! Who knew. That was 4:15 AM.

And there that little baby head remained for 45 minutes. As all contractions stopped. I had no urge to push. everything came to a calm and peaceful stand still.

It got to the point that it was funny. There I was, waiting for the urge to push. everyone watching me wait for the urge to push. my daughters in the background quietly working on paper dolls that my mom had brought for them. and little Lani was perfectly content to just hang out in the birth canal.

I remember thinking how she must have a completely different personality than Raegan. Because when I was delivering Raegan, the midwife actually told me NOT to push because the baby was coming on her own. Apparently I wasn't getting the job done fast enough (it was only about 10 minutes) And yes, that is still her personality to this day. She's a go-getter.

Yet. Alana wasn't in a rush. she was perfectly still. completely at peace with where she was.

But the atmosphere was so *joyful*. The nurse and I joked back and forth. The midwife joined in. Everyone in the room was laughing. It was like a fun little party.

Well, except there was no food. and I wasn't really dressed for company. *wry grin* but, you know, other than those small oversights... a party.

At one point, I mentioned to Barbara about pulling out the ol' vacuum. And while I was joking, I don't think I would've argued had she agreed. I was honestly not looking forward to pushing her out. It was like I had to get over a fear that played on the outskirts of my mind. But the Lord gently spoke to me, so clearly that it was like he was whispering in my ear:

"I told you what it would feel like. But you HAVE TO push through this, hon. Just trust me."

I have to mention that the way he addressed me changed once we were in the hospital. it went from him saying "Christin" to him using terms of endearment like "hon" and "sweetheart". I didn't tell Jet about it until hours later. At which point we were both so overwhelmed with the preciousness of it that tears came to our eyes. The Lord was so intimately present.

Finally, a little after 5 AM, I had the urge to push. I pushed just a bit. enough for them to see the tip of her little head. And then Barbara spoke up, "This is where you'll start to feel your body stretching."

I knew in that instance, I had a choice. A choice to receive what she had said over my body or draw a line in the sand. Before I had time to even process, I said, very casually, "I never feel that." Not taking her eyes away from mine, she had this incredulous look and said, "Well, that's a blessing! a huge blessing!" ... smiling, all I could say was "yeah. it really is."

Finally I got tired of not having her head out. I gave one push that caused her to crown. though I had to ask for someone to let me know that she was really out since I didn't feel anything. (yay, Jesus!)

They assured me she was. So I lay there for a minute. Gave a couple of pulsating pushes like the nurse was instructing. Then decided: Enough is enough. I'm done with this. Lord, I'm trusting you. I'm pushing through. I'm not backing down. If I tear, I tear. (I didn't by the way) But you said it'd be fine. So here goes.

And I gave one big push.

All I remember is Barbara saying, "Good job, Christin! Okay, There's her...Wait! Wait!! Hold on! Woah! Woah Woah Woah" And she literally flew out. All At Once.

Born 5:16 AM.

But because Jet wanted to technically deliver her (pull her out), Barbara sort of held in whatever part of Alana she could for him. And Jet, who was still in shock that we literally went from nothing to everything in a matter of seconds, just stood there. staring.

Until I yelled, "JEEETT. Pull. Her. Out." A little later I joked him, "I've done my part. Do yours!" ;)

Yes, it was painfree. It was like my stomach had been supernaturally numbed; I felt nothing there. I felt nothing pushing her out. I didn't tear. The only thing I felt were the back contractions: my back muscles would tighten up. I could feel them working hard. but it wasn't painful. just intense.

I would just have Jet put counterpressure on my lower back and all was well. So basically he wasn't able to take his hand away from my back. I gave his finger muscles a workout. seriously. So I suppose he did his part too, eh? :)

............

I know I haven't done justice to what all happened. I think I have to come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to at this point. There's just too much. But for now, here it is. A quick summary of the first part of our Supernatural Delivery.

Next up. The Huge Miracle no one saw coming....

Happy Birthday to Me

...Because on my 32nd birthday, God decided to give me a present: Alana Joy.


Born September 16th. 5:16 AM. Weighing in at 6lbs. 10.8 oz.

The birth story definitely is one of the sweetest thus far. Full of amazing times of worship between just the Lord and me...some surprises that made me laugh...some that made me cry...

But that story will have to wait until I find the brain power to function on a level where complete sentences come easily. At this particular moment in time, I am sleep-deprived. hormonally challenged. and prone to cry.

...My friend, Sarah, came to drop off some amazing dinner. When I came downstairs to say hey, she asked me a question. nothing sensitive. nothing personal. But I cried. Right there. On the spot.

Lovely little hormonal moment shared with an unsuspecting friend who was just trying to be sweet. *groan*

So for now, I'll just leave you with a picture of my newest love. My BLOND daughter!?!

Little Lani...