And while I'm still planning on responding personally to those emails, I'm going to be really upfront with where I am in the coming weeks prior to the delivery on this blog. Not only for personal memory sake. but also for the sake of being real with those that are truly curious with my heart-process before God as I prepare for the God-given painfree delivery...
These last few days with the Lord have been amazing times of encouragement concerning the impending birth. Even though I've had the flu. and all that comes with it. Because oddly enough, the whole flu-thing proved to be a precious time with Him (once I stopped whining).
For as I experienced stomach cramps and pretty hard contractions (due to dehydration and stomach irritability) the Lord literally talked me through finding His peace. finding His promise. and holding onto Him. and then reminding me how to walk my body through the process of receiving that.
And THAT is a major part of what carries me through labor and delivery. the not being swept away by the noise of what's happening around me. by the nurses or machines. or by what my body is doing in preparation for the baby.
but by allowing myself to be internally quiet and focus on him and what he is saying. to find him amidst the "storm" of potential chaos and speak "peace be still" over my own body.
"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body"( Eccl 11:10)
Not the easiest thing to do in the heat of the moment, unless it's been practiced before. you know? So it was like He gave me a little "refresher course" on finding his peace and healing in the midst of ....well, "body junk." Courtesy of The Flu.
But all has not been Roses and Gardens in the Land of Christin's Thoughts...because I've been stressing it a bit. feeling like He's not been real verbal. or offering much encouragement on any level regarding the delivery.
But then...out of the blue...he reminded me of all that he had said. Which happened to be a lot of "small" things that added up to one big revelation: The fact that He is very much aware of what's coming and very much wants to encourage me in it.
Here I'd been inclining my ear for a big Sumpin-sumpin spoken from the mouth of God. Yet. He'd been speaking the entire time. small things. simple things. things that had he not reminded me of them, I may have blown off. Why is that?!
And then last night, as Jet and I sat on the bed praying, the Lord told Jet "I'm into the details. The things that you can't even remember to pray about, I'm in control of those as well."
...That meant so much to me because I had JUST been silently praying "Lord, there's just too much for me to pray about. I feel like I could never cover it all. and that overwhelms me."
And then he goes and addresses that little mindset 10 minutes later via The Hub.
Because that's not the point of prayer, you know? to overwhelm us as we embrace some sense of duty or "have to." a place where we inevitably fall short as we beat our heads against a wall trying to do it right.
Rather, prayer is a time of sacred intimacy with Him. of giving our hearts to him and positioning ourselves to receive from him. a time to enter into lifting up that which he's already working on.
Because He wants to bless me with this birth, you know? He wants to be who He says He is through this birth. He wants to encourage me. It's his delight.
He isn't sitting on his royal throne, arms crossed, waiting for me to get it right in prayer before he moves. He WANTS to move. And he's just inviting me to be an active part as I lay my thoughts and heart before him in prayer.
And though I can't explain what transpired in those few moments of reaching out and receiving from the Lord, I can say that his words were LIFE to my hope. LIFE to my faith. LIFE to my expectancy in what is to come.
Knowing that Jet and I have heard from GOD...that he's intimately aware of the delivery's details and wants to encourage us in it...I feel I now stand on solid ground. and I get excited about what's to come.
Now...to just remain rested in that mindset:
"To set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace" (Rm. 8:6).
"Set your minds on the things above" -Col 3:2
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." (Phil 4:8)
