One thing I've found as a woman... you cannot compare yourself to anyone else and still live an emotionally sound life. Comparison will eat you alive. There is, undoubtedly, no way around that. For in the mind of a female lives the indelible pull to self-critique and come up lacking.
And in the world of home schooling, that truth definitely holds true. Times ten. If you spend time and energy researching what every one else does, how they make it happen, how they get through their day, how their children best learn, etc etc... you will surely burn out. always ending up on the "less than" side.
For no child is the same. No mother the same. No family dynamic the same. Therefore no home school can be the same. If I were to get caught up in the "Keeping up with the Jones" as far as home education is concerned, I'd always feel like I were struggling to keep up.
pressing my children to be someone they were not. and losing out in the heart of home schooling: Getting to know MY children and encouraging them in becoming their best.
I've found such freedom in embracing this mindset. It's been a *deathblow* to the streak of perfectionism that runs thru me concerning educating my child. this knowledge that I am creating (OUR) family atmosphere that no one else has created before. Therefore, that no one has perfected before me.
THEREFORE, I am free to create...free to explore...free to make mistakes through trial and error. Sounds exactly like what I want for my children's school year of learning. Them feeling the freedom to learn through making a mess of things.
Finding the Heartbeat:
Once I felt I had our schedule set up (as flexible as it really is), I wanted to focus on what my purpose in home schooling them was. Not for legalism sake. But for keeping things in perspective.
Especially during this particular family season: Lots of little ones. pregnancy. Daddy's night school, etc. Life, for us, is smack dab in the middle of transition on all sides. So for me to think that I'm going to attain some sort of stringent "way to do things" won't work. I'll fall over from stomach ulcers before the first six-weeks period is over.
What is my heart for this season of home schooling, you ask?
Though I'm not quite sure how to answer that question with concise words, I can most definitely say that it is not to recreate public school in our own four walls: sitting at a desk. learning quick facts from a text- or workbook. shuffling their thoughts from subject to subject by the ringing of the bell (or clock alarm).
And though I may lack the perfect wording to describe what I'm thinking, I've run across other people's words that seem to encapsulate my heart perfectly. How's that for convenient? :)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert EinsteinI don't want to just have them sit in their seats, reading about life. But I want them to get out and experience it. to have lots of time set aside to laugh. explore. dream. create. Which boils down to lots of time spent outside. getting filthy. exploring to their hearts' content.
This will be a stretch for me. I am a homebody at this point in life. One who happens to like order and all things clean. Hmmm...Lord? *wry grin*
With Raegan (17 months) wanting to explore the world with all five of her wobbly senses, there is no rest when she is outside. I must be on my feet and on my guard the entire exhausting time of it.
But my heart is to get over that and jump in exploring with all three of them. to allow MY own adventurous spirit to awaken and emerge once more. to encourage them in their imagination. and to maybe be reunited with the depth of my own. Letting them see, firsthand, that life's equation is NOT: Peak Imagination must happen before the age of seven..right before calm maturity must set in.
"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life." Plato
My goal this year to create a love for learning. Whereas it's tempting to just adhere to the SOLs in preparation for the end-of-the-year test... I want to, instead, focus on birthing in them an insatiable desire to learn.
So that they, for the remainder of their life, will continue to learn. not because they have to. but because they want to. because it has been laid into the foundational parts of their mindset concerning how they interact with the world around them.
In my heart of hearts, I know this cannot be established if I don't allow them to have fun. to laugh with me on a daily basis. to see me enjoying what we're doing instead of my just rushing through so we can check it off our daily list of accomplishments.
"I hear and forget. I see and remember. I do and understand." Chinese proverb
Lots of lots of hands-on projects is the hope here. And honestly? even as I type that, I think "Oh dear, God, give me strength." Because honestly, I'm tired. Really really tired. I've recently been introduced to a determined streak of "strong will" in my 17 month-old and I'm getting ready to bring another baby into the world. So I foresee my free time and available energy becoming less and less existent.
And "Hands-On" screams all about the need for MORE and MORE time and energy.
But regardless of where we are in this particular stage of life, "Hands-On" is still a foundational hope concerning the heart of our home schooling years. It may not happen perfectly this year. Or next. But it's all part of the vision nonetheless....
"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I read that above quote, the word Adventurous comes to mind. Whereas, I know it can pertain to the Three R's...perfecting the art of reading, writing, and arithmetic... it's not where my mind goes.
My mind goes to rock climbing. cliff jumping. surfing. snow skiing. gymnastics. ...all the talents that I envy when I see others excelling in.
And the only way those others became proficient was by first TRYING it. That is what I want for my girls. The opportunity to try things that they haven't yet tried. to instill in them an unwavering confidence that they are capable of accomplishing great and mighty things.
before they acquire a fear of the unknown and they learn to remain content standing on the sidelines envying those who are out there doing it.
I want to allow time for adventure and daring. And I refuse to allow others fears (mine included) to become a part of the framework of their minds. I know you know of those people whom I speak...those fearfully-minded people who cannot keep from saying "be careful"..."watch out"..."slow down" etc etc when the slightest bit of "chance" is taken.
BUT I want my girls to learn to take a chance. Yes, to have wisdom in it. but to not shrink back in fear of it. or of life in general. I want them to learn to attack life and all its opportunities with brazen boldness. Something I was never encouraged to do, but want deeply to encourage my girls to become.
"The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil." Ralph Waldo Emerson
This whole concept of respect may be the key to what started me looking in the direction of home schooling in the first place. ...My seeing, firsthand, how teachers didn't always respect the child as an equal. as a person.
I was a substitute teacher for 5 years (most of those years during my college career). I became such a permanent fixture at a particular school that some joked how I was there more than the full-time teachers. So I got to really know the teachers. the students. and their dynamic relationships.
Yes, there are teachers who seem to have the innate ability to bring out the best in the children. And to those teachers, I applaud!! But I also came across a handful of teachers lacking in that ability (and many others) that really impacted me.
Teachers who thought nothing of crassly degrading a child, publicly, in front of his peers and me (who, at the time, was the young cool teacher that everyone wanted to impress). I saw it repeatedly. But one time in particular stands. The details I'll leave out. But I can say that I had to control my temper as this teacher spoke to me about a particular student. in front of the entire class. with the boy sitting right where we stood.
And I remember his facial expression of defeat as the other teacher left the room. I felt his broken heart as I tried to contain my anger at the teacher's haughty attitude of "hmph. showed him." I was ready to spit nails. To say there was no respect for the student would be a gross understatement.
Anyway. As horrible as that interaction was, I am finding that it's easy for me as a parent to get used to treating my children as "less thans". Am I the only one who has found this?! Like when I feel completely justified in my impatience at their immaturity. or when I feel right when I raise my voice in the "because I said so" type of attitude. those lovely parental moments.
But I want them to be surrounded by love. to know that, even though they make huge mistakes in their learning processes (and in life, in general!), that it's not a big deal. life happens. accidents are inevitable. failures come. But THE PERSON is still precious and more important.
So...what do I want for our home school days?
-I want to create an atmosphere where learning happens naturally.
-where true education, in all its messy glory, is fully welcome.
-where our days, in all their unavoidable moments of "less thans," are embraced for the opportunity to learn from the mistake instead of embracing guilt over it.
-where all of our senses are on the look out for God's profound ability to create joy in the hidden moments of the everyday.
THIS is what I want for our year. More than perfect scores on the tests. More than concepts mastered and reading levels advanced yet again. I want a home life of JOY, experience, creative expression, and confidence.
Because I believe that if my girls are raised in that atmosphere...are giving the chance to saturate themselves in that mindset...that they will be well-equipped to embrace whatever adventure the Lord has laid out before them.
And that is what matters at the end of the day. at the end of time.
that they embraced Life with creative and joyful confidence. loving the learning process. not despising the process of trial and error.
