that is the question.
We think the baby has dropped into position. Though, honestly, I'm not sure. It's never been something that I noticed before. and could be completely imagining this time around.
I went to stand up and as I took a step, something so jarred my body that I lunged forward falling. I had to grab onto Jet's leg (who was sitting on the bed) to remain in the "standing" position.
Since then I haven't had any heartburn, even after I ate chocolate. WHICH has given me heartburn within 0.3 seconds of eating it for the last few months. seriously. The whole lack of heartburn thing may or may not be a sign that the baby has dropped into position.
We also think that her feet are now where her booty used to be. and because she's packed in my belly so tightly, we've gotten used to feeling and identifying her various body parts. But...according to my midwife, the baby can float back up. Nice.
And I presently have a burst of energy (which also MAY or may not be a sign of true labor) and am cleaning the downstairs of all clutter.
SOOO all that to say. I may or may not be in the early stages of labor. Which may or may not mean that I could go into labor SOON ...or sometime within the next few weeks.
Don't you love how definitive all those "pregnancy signs" are? It's enough to drive you crazy. :)
August 31, 2008
Say What?
This morning, in the middle of worship, Charis (almost 6) turns to me and whispers, in that not-so-quiet kid type of whisper:
"Mommy, I like him." she points to a little boy (that she's never met) sitting in front of us. "He's pretty to me."
WOW. And here I thought only teenage girls were scoping out the male population during worship.
"Mommy, I like him." she points to a little boy (that she's never met) sitting in front of us. "He's pretty to me."
WOW. And here I thought only teenage girls were scoping out the male population during worship.
August 30, 2008
Baby Girl Identified
We're one of those couples that have baby names picked out well in advance. Well, allow me to clarify that.
I'm one of those women that hears a name and thinks "Hmm. I love that name. Maybe one day..." And away it goes...stored in the corners of my mind. Thankfully, Jet and I have the same taste when it comes to names!
In YWAM, a friend's sister was named "Charis". She told me it was the Greek word for Grace. Loved it.
Also in YWAM, one of our leaders mentioned the word "Selah" (pronounced Say-la...though some say See-la) and said it meant, "Pause and reflect on what the Lord has done." Immediately, loved it.
In college, I met a sorority sister of a suitemate. Her name was "Raegan". I thought...hmmm, that's original. very beautiful and sophisticated all at the same time. Then years later, when I was leading a college ministry, my heart knitted with a very bubbly, very hilarious, very beautiful college girl named...Raegan. Then a few years back, I learned the meaning: "Spiritual Authority." Uh-huh. loved it.
So all of our names have been ones that have stuck with me over the years for a few different reasons:
-They were original. Different enough that the child wouldn't be sharing their name with five other people in their class. but not insanely different that people would look at them cross-eyed when they introduced themselves. (maybe some would disagree with me here) *laughing*
-Names with powerful meanings. that bestow a Godly character trait into their very beings. into their very core identity: Grace, Reflection and Worship, Authority
-AND names that represented the season where God had us as a family during the baby's womb-time and delivery. Even the babies that we've lost (we've named them as well) have names that represent this to us.
This time is no different. The name, though maybe more common than our other girls, isn't one that you hear often. The meaning is beyond powerful. And it represents both what we want for her as a person and where the Lord currently has us as a family.
We've actually had the name for a while now. But for some reason, just never got around to making an official declaration. WHICH is very different for us. And which has turned out to be fairly unwise, considering that our girls know and share the name with any and all who show the faintest interest in my pregnancy.
So it is without further ado, I present to you...the name of our littlest girl:
We've always liked that name (Elana, Alanna, Alana). But the meaning left a little to be desired. In my baby book, it was "Gaelic for rock". Huh. Okay. Not too much to go by. But still liked the sound of it and all.
BUT remember, we always name our babies based on the powerful meaning AND according to the season the Lord has us in as a family. So I REALLY wanted something that meant "outpouring" or "revival".
But all those names were freaky-weird. Things no kind and loving parent would bestow upon their own flesh and blood. Really.
AND then lo and behold, I came across a Hawaiian name that meant OUTPOURING.... "ALANA"!
AHHH!! Are you kidding me?! We were so excited! Different origin, but exact same name. With exactly the meaning we'd been searching and searching for! *perfect*
Plus, we'd always talked about nicknaming her "Lani". Which is Hawaiian for "HEAVENLY". So her name essentially means:
And the fact that it also means "rock" in Gaelic just signifies to me (now that my mom pointed it out!) that this outpouring will come out in unlikely sources/ways. Like the rock that Moses struck for the outpouring of water to come forth. Pretty powerful stuff, Lord. I likey.
So there you have it. Baby Girl #4's Identity uncovered. :)
I'm one of those women that hears a name and thinks "Hmm. I love that name. Maybe one day..." And away it goes...stored in the corners of my mind. Thankfully, Jet and I have the same taste when it comes to names!
In YWAM, a friend's sister was named "Charis". She told me it was the Greek word for Grace. Loved it.
Also in YWAM, one of our leaders mentioned the word "Selah" (pronounced Say-la...though some say See-la) and said it meant, "Pause and reflect on what the Lord has done." Immediately, loved it.
In college, I met a sorority sister of a suitemate. Her name was "Raegan". I thought...hmmm, that's original. very beautiful and sophisticated all at the same time. Then years later, when I was leading a college ministry, my heart knitted with a very bubbly, very hilarious, very beautiful college girl named...Raegan. Then a few years back, I learned the meaning: "Spiritual Authority." Uh-huh. loved it.
So all of our names have been ones that have stuck with me over the years for a few different reasons:
-They were original. Different enough that the child wouldn't be sharing their name with five other people in their class. but not insanely different that people would look at them cross-eyed when they introduced themselves. (maybe some would disagree with me here) *laughing*
-Names with powerful meanings. that bestow a Godly character trait into their very beings. into their very core identity: Grace, Reflection and Worship, Authority
-AND names that represented the season where God had us as a family during the baby's womb-time and delivery. Even the babies that we've lost (we've named them as well) have names that represent this to us.
This time is no different. The name, though maybe more common than our other girls, isn't one that you hear often. The meaning is beyond powerful. And it represents both what we want for her as a person and where the Lord currently has us as a family.
We've actually had the name for a while now. But for some reason, just never got around to making an official declaration. WHICH is very different for us. And which has turned out to be fairly unwise, considering that our girls know and share the name with any and all who show the faintest interest in my pregnancy.
So it is without further ado, I present to you...the name of our littlest girl:
*Alana Joy*
We've always liked that name (Elana, Alanna, Alana). But the meaning left a little to be desired. In my baby book, it was "Gaelic for rock". Huh. Okay. Not too much to go by. But still liked the sound of it and all.
BUT remember, we always name our babies based on the powerful meaning AND according to the season the Lord has us in as a family. So I REALLY wanted something that meant "outpouring" or "revival".
But all those names were freaky-weird. Things no kind and loving parent would bestow upon their own flesh and blood. Really.
AND then lo and behold, I came across a Hawaiian name that meant OUTPOURING.... "ALANA"!
AHHH!! Are you kidding me?! We were so excited! Different origin, but exact same name. With exactly the meaning we'd been searching and searching for! *perfect*
Plus, we'd always talked about nicknaming her "Lani". Which is Hawaiian for "HEAVENLY". So her name essentially means:
"Heavenly Outpouring of Joy"
And the fact that it also means "rock" in Gaelic just signifies to me (now that my mom pointed it out!) that this outpouring will come out in unlikely sources/ways. Like the rock that Moses struck for the outpouring of water to come forth. Pretty powerful stuff, Lord. I likey.
So there you have it. Baby Girl #4's Identity uncovered. :)
August 29, 2008
*Warning*
*Uncensored hormonal pregnant lady at the keyboard. No telling what will come out of her mouth*
But...it's all for posterity sake. So if you find yourself unable to deal with the randomness of emotionality, step away from the computer.
I repeat. Step Away From the Computer.
Yeah, this entry is all for memory sake. And though I really don't want to marvel in how I'm feeling at this particular moment, I know later on I'll be glad I documented it.
I'll either get a kick out of it later, be encouraged during my next pregnancy, or encourage another mom-to-be that they aren't so crazy after all. (being that I just went through Davene's pregnancy blog to see if she was feeling as unstable as I currently do). ;)
Either way, at this present time, I can currently be summed up in a word...or three: Moody. On edge. Emotional.
I know my body is gearing up for delivery when I start to feel all of the above. And while that should bring a somewhat jilted excitement, it only gets me more annoyed. Because in all reality, it means nothing in terms of how soon I deliver this baby. this whole "gearing up" phase that I'm going through. and that only makes me more weepy.
So round and round the emotions go. Where (when?) they'll stop no one knows. And let me tell you, it's a hum-dinger of a Joy Ride for those who are forced to live with me, I'm sure.
For instance: Selah was sitting in my lap this evening before bed, wanting to snuggle. I can feel that my emotions are right near the surface. You know, the place where if someone were to casually say "How are ya?" you'd burst into tears? Yep, what a lovely little place of emotional instability.
So...as any hormonal woman nearing the end of her sanity and feeling her body tense in teasing, mock-contractions would do...I cry. No boo-hoo crying. But tears nonetheless.
Poor Selah. I try and tell her it's a happy cry. that I'm crying because I love her so much. But she's neither heard of nor experienced that "happy cry". So I know she thinks I've lost my ability to be rational. Because she starts nervously looking around the room for someone, anyone, to come and be the emotional anchor in the midst of this weird outburst of Mommy's.
But she's my Cuddle Bug so she doesn't abandon me in the middle of my breakdown. but instead tries to comfort me amidst my...uh, happiness.
Then, I come upstairs to just "soak" in the presence of God while listening to worship. And immediately I just start to cry. My emotions feel so raw. The emotional battle/mind game that happens is so tiring. I just want a word from the Lord. A sign that something physically tangible is happening in my heavy, pregnant body. and peace that I can wait it out if I go full-term this time.
And in the middle of all that, the Lord shows me that I'm acting as if I have to walk on egg-shells with him. like if I make a wrong move...or pray something a little too "out there"... my prayers won't be answered. because his anger will be ignited at my brazenness. and then, there goes my miraculous delivery.
Stupid, irrational thoughts like that.
So that God-revelation made me cry all the more. Who wants to be both emotional AND stupid? it's just not pretty.
But at least I can find hope in the fact that my period of ...uh, breakdown...allowed the Lord to clarify that my way of thinking and approaching him wasn't healthy. That He wants me to just approach him as a friend. because he is a person who really wants to know exactly what I want and doesn't find fault in me for my honesty. No matter how daring of a prayer it may be.
Alrighty. that's enough of crazy-lady documentation. For now. I'm off to chat with the Hub.
But...it's all for posterity sake. So if you find yourself unable to deal with the randomness of emotionality, step away from the computer.
I repeat. Step Away From the Computer.
Yeah, this entry is all for memory sake. And though I really don't want to marvel in how I'm feeling at this particular moment, I know later on I'll be glad I documented it.
I'll either get a kick out of it later, be encouraged during my next pregnancy, or encourage another mom-to-be that they aren't so crazy after all. (being that I just went through Davene's pregnancy blog to see if she was feeling as unstable as I currently do). ;)
Either way, at this present time, I can currently be summed up in a word...or three: Moody. On edge. Emotional.
I know my body is gearing up for delivery when I start to feel all of the above. And while that should bring a somewhat jilted excitement, it only gets me more annoyed. Because in all reality, it means nothing in terms of how soon I deliver this baby. this whole "gearing up" phase that I'm going through. and that only makes me more weepy.
So round and round the emotions go. Where (when?) they'll stop no one knows. And let me tell you, it's a hum-dinger of a Joy Ride for those who are forced to live with me, I'm sure.
For instance: Selah was sitting in my lap this evening before bed, wanting to snuggle. I can feel that my emotions are right near the surface. You know, the place where if someone were to casually say "How are ya?" you'd burst into tears? Yep, what a lovely little place of emotional instability.
So...as any hormonal woman nearing the end of her sanity and feeling her body tense in teasing, mock-contractions would do...I cry. No boo-hoo crying. But tears nonetheless.
Poor Selah. I try and tell her it's a happy cry. that I'm crying because I love her so much. But she's neither heard of nor experienced that "happy cry". So I know she thinks I've lost my ability to be rational. Because she starts nervously looking around the room for someone, anyone, to come and be the emotional anchor in the midst of this weird outburst of Mommy's.
But she's my Cuddle Bug so she doesn't abandon me in the middle of my breakdown. but instead tries to comfort me amidst my...uh, happiness.
Then, I come upstairs to just "soak" in the presence of God while listening to worship. And immediately I just start to cry. My emotions feel so raw. The emotional battle/mind game that happens is so tiring. I just want a word from the Lord. A sign that something physically tangible is happening in my heavy, pregnant body. and peace that I can wait it out if I go full-term this time.
And in the middle of all that, the Lord shows me that I'm acting as if I have to walk on egg-shells with him. like if I make a wrong move...or pray something a little too "out there"... my prayers won't be answered. because his anger will be ignited at my brazenness. and then, there goes my miraculous delivery.
Stupid, irrational thoughts like that.
So that God-revelation made me cry all the more. Who wants to be both emotional AND stupid? it's just not pretty.
But at least I can find hope in the fact that my period of ...uh, breakdown...allowed the Lord to clarify that my way of thinking and approaching him wasn't healthy. That He wants me to just approach him as a friend. because he is a person who really wants to know exactly what I want and doesn't find fault in me for my honesty. No matter how daring of a prayer it may be.
Alrighty. that's enough of crazy-lady documentation. For now. I'm off to chat with the Hub.
August 26, 2008
Giving up Control
...What does that even look like?
I ask myself this because so often it's a line that I casually profess to God in worship: You have my life. I submit to you. I bow down. I lay down my all, ....
I have to ask because that's just what the Lord did this morning. He asked. As I sat worshipping, I distinctly heard the Lord say, "Do you even know what that looks like?"
Um. What's that you said, Lord? Cause I'm sort of reveling in the cool lyrics of this song right now. I wasn't sure I heard you. ...Yeah, okay, so I did hear. but I'm not so sure I want to dig in and process the answer right now. Can we talk later, maybe?
But later came suddenly. For how can you ignore Jesus and still worship? It ain't happening. :) So I sat there. thinking.
Unfortunately one of my girls came downstairs for breakfast at that point, interrupting any and all form of inner quiet. So I find myself, hours later, still in that mode:
Thinking. what does it look like? what would it be like? This giving up of total control to The One.
Would it be messy? Would I find myself suddenly lacking in friends? saying an eternal good-bye to a fun-filled life? Would he take that scary prayer/offering and present me with all sorts of hard tests and trials to show me how truly inept I am?
Would I be miserable? Would I be broken? Would I remain single for the rest of forever? (obviously not something I'm asking at this stage in life) Would he banish me to some unreached tribe who dine on monkey brains and refuse to wear anything but bones through their lips? Would he give me a dozen children and ask me to home school them all?!! Would all my desires suddenly be thrown in the garbage as I try to embrace the desires of the One who sits on the Throne?
Because really, who likes any of those options? Isn't there an "E. None of the Above" answer? I pick that one. ...I think.
Unless what's behind Door Number 12 is...*gulp*...even worse.
Do you know what I'm saying though? The thought that when you completely give away all control to the Only One who Knows True Love...that somehow in the course of that exchange, we're going to end up with the short end of the deal. Be the eternally miserable person, regretting their life sacrifice to the King, on oh-so-many levels.
A friend and I were talking about this in a round about way yesterday. about praying those scary-type prayers...the ones like "Lord give me patience." Or "Lord, take my pride away."
Those types of prayers that fellow Believers actually warn you against praying. "Ohhh...you prayed that? Watch out! Because He'll answer that one in a hurry!" All the while, they're mockingly looking at the sky, like lightning will strike you dead at any time.
Why is that? Why do we have faith that God will answer those prayers in a hurry, but will conveniently forget about the other ones? Why do we think that God, in answering those sincere prayers, will take out his Heavenly Pick Ax and hack away at our most vulnerable parts? Why have I taken on that mindset?!! Because it is NOT the heart of God.
It can't be. For he is a God who invites us to come to him...to exchange our heaviness for his easiness... to exchange our weariness and labor and receive rest...to trust him with our bruised spirit because he won't break it. On and on it goes. Citing promises that reveal the TENDER heart of God.
So I have to ask myself... as I waive back and forth the meaning and impact of fully giving up control...and the subsequent holding on of grudges and bitterness and anxiety and pride and fears... to embrace his humility and power and love. ...What would life be like?
And I am left with only one answer. Freeing.
YET. I can look at my life and see places where I am more than comfortable to remain...well, UNcomfortable. and basically in bondage.
Where I am more than okay with holding onto aggravation or pride. feeling completely justified in my anger. feeling totally at peace keeping my heart in a locked away place of sin: fear of man, fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of ...
Say, like when The Hub hurts my feelings or offends me to name just one example.
So to answer your question, Lord. I have no idea what giving up complete control really looks/feels like. But please help me to change my mindset. change my heart attitude. relinquish my death grip on control.
And maybe, as I step out, backing up my worship with my hour-to-hour lifestyle, I'll taste and see that the Lord IS good.
Even when I pray those dangerous type prayers.
I ask myself this because so often it's a line that I casually profess to God in worship: You have my life. I submit to you. I bow down. I lay down my all, ....
I have to ask because that's just what the Lord did this morning. He asked. As I sat worshipping, I distinctly heard the Lord say, "Do you even know what that looks like?"
Um. What's that you said, Lord? Cause I'm sort of reveling in the cool lyrics of this song right now. I wasn't sure I heard you. ...Yeah, okay, so I did hear. but I'm not so sure I want to dig in and process the answer right now. Can we talk later, maybe?
But later came suddenly. For how can you ignore Jesus and still worship? It ain't happening. :) So I sat there. thinking.
Unfortunately one of my girls came downstairs for breakfast at that point, interrupting any and all form of inner quiet. So I find myself, hours later, still in that mode:
Thinking. what does it look like? what would it be like? This giving up of total control to The One.
Would it be messy? Would I find myself suddenly lacking in friends? saying an eternal good-bye to a fun-filled life? Would he take that scary prayer/offering and present me with all sorts of hard tests and trials to show me how truly inept I am?
Would I be miserable? Would I be broken? Would I remain single for the rest of forever? (obviously not something I'm asking at this stage in life) Would he banish me to some unreached tribe who dine on monkey brains and refuse to wear anything but bones through their lips? Would he give me a dozen children and ask me to home school them all?!! Would all my desires suddenly be thrown in the garbage as I try to embrace the desires of the One who sits on the Throne?
Because really, who likes any of those options? Isn't there an "E. None of the Above" answer? I pick that one. ...I think.
Unless what's behind Door Number 12 is...*gulp*...even worse.
Do you know what I'm saying though? The thought that when you completely give away all control to the Only One who Knows True Love...that somehow in the course of that exchange, we're going to end up with the short end of the deal. Be the eternally miserable person, regretting their life sacrifice to the King, on oh-so-many levels.
A friend and I were talking about this in a round about way yesterday. about praying those scary-type prayers...the ones like "Lord give me patience." Or "Lord, take my pride away."
Those types of prayers that fellow Believers actually warn you against praying. "Ohhh...you prayed that? Watch out! Because He'll answer that one in a hurry!" All the while, they're mockingly looking at the sky, like lightning will strike you dead at any time.
Why is that? Why do we have faith that God will answer those prayers in a hurry, but will conveniently forget about the other ones? Why do we think that God, in answering those sincere prayers, will take out his Heavenly Pick Ax and hack away at our most vulnerable parts? Why have I taken on that mindset?!! Because it is NOT the heart of God.
It can't be. For he is a God who invites us to come to him...to exchange our heaviness for his easiness... to exchange our weariness and labor and receive rest...to trust him with our bruised spirit because he won't break it. On and on it goes. Citing promises that reveal the TENDER heart of God.
So I have to ask myself... as I waive back and forth the meaning and impact of fully giving up control...and the subsequent holding on of grudges and bitterness and anxiety and pride and fears... to embrace his humility and power and love. ...What would life be like?
And I am left with only one answer. Freeing.
YET. I can look at my life and see places where I am more than comfortable to remain...well, UNcomfortable. and basically in bondage.
Where I am more than okay with holding onto aggravation or pride. feeling completely justified in my anger. feeling totally at peace keeping my heart in a locked away place of sin: fear of man, fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of ...
Say, like when The Hub hurts my feelings or offends me to name just one example.
So to answer your question, Lord. I have no idea what giving up complete control really looks/feels like. But please help me to change my mindset. change my heart attitude. relinquish my death grip on control.
And maybe, as I step out, backing up my worship with my hour-to-hour lifestyle, I'll taste and see that the Lord IS good.
Even when I pray those dangerous type prayers.
August 25, 2008
35 Weeks
Pregnant Life has definitely become a public reality in the last week or so. My neighbor asked my husband...a couple of weeks ago...if I was expecting. She about fell over when he told her I was due next month. Last week, someone at church asked if I was pregnant. ...and then, someone else asked my mom.
Which leads me to wonder:
Do people think I sit around and drink alcohol all day? You know, so as to acquire this apparent beer belly I have going on? Or do they think that I have absolutely no fashion sense AT ALL that I would try and accentuate my large gut? Or am I just that invisible of a person that I can walk around church for MONTHS without being noticed?
Truly, it's a mystery to me. Because though I know I remain towards the smaller end of pregnant, I am still VERY pregnant.
Like TWENTY FIVE (PLUS) pounds pregnant.
Like I just gained five pounds in the last week pregnant!
Like some of my maternity clothes from previous pregnancies don't fit kind of pregnant!
Like I have a hard time walking up stairs without sounding like I've just run a marathon kind of pregnant!
Like I can only see my toe nails when I look straight down at my feet kind of pregnant! Pregnant pregnant!
But anyway. :) Now, when I go out, people feel free to ask about my pregnancy. So it's become a very obvious phenomenon. And I LOVE LOVE that part of it. Ask away! I'm all too happy to share that Baby Girl #4 is on her way!!
See? There is it. The obvious I have-a-baby-in-my-belly look! :) And you can actually see Baby Girl move around in my stomach from across the room!! Some kind of freaky! But I'm LOVIN' it...
I was standing at the kitchen sink preparing tomatoes for a spaghetti sauce recipe, when suddenly my feet started to feel funny. I look down. Hm. That looks strangely familiar. Where have I seen that look before?
*thinking thinking*
Oh. Huh. That podiatric look seems oddly reminiscent of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Eh. I had hobbit feet. minus the hair.
"Honey. I can't be on my feet for much longer. I'm starting to swell." But I continue to chop, as Project Spaghetti Sauce must get done.
A few minutes later, my knees start to tingle. I look down again. "Uh, honey. You might want to come see this."
He rounds the corner, takes one look at my legs, and blurts out, "I'm thinking you need to sit down. NOW. And why don't you elevate your feet while you're at it?"
Yeah. it was scary. I'm talking I had no knees. no ankles. no remnant of muscle tones. Only two long, out-of-shape thighs. In a matter of minutes, I had gone from normal pregnant lady to Blimp Girl.
Funny how quickly Pregnant Bliss goes out the window when knees disappear, isn't it? Because suddenly people aren't asking if I'm pregnant. They just want to know if I need an EpiPen to ward off anaphylactic shock.
Which leads me to wonder:
Do people think I sit around and drink alcohol all day? You know, so as to acquire this apparent beer belly I have going on? Or do they think that I have absolutely no fashion sense AT ALL that I would try and accentuate my large gut? Or am I just that invisible of a person that I can walk around church for MONTHS without being noticed?
Truly, it's a mystery to me. Because though I know I remain towards the smaller end of pregnant, I am still VERY pregnant.
Like TWENTY FIVE (PLUS) pounds pregnant.
Like I just gained five pounds in the last week pregnant!
Like some of my maternity clothes from previous pregnancies don't fit kind of pregnant!
Like I have a hard time walking up stairs without sounding like I've just run a marathon kind of pregnant!
Like I can only see my toe nails when I look straight down at my feet kind of pregnant! Pregnant pregnant!
But anyway. :) Now, when I go out, people feel free to ask about my pregnancy. So it's become a very obvious phenomenon. And I LOVE LOVE that part of it. Ask away! I'm all too happy to share that Baby Girl #4 is on her way!!
See? There is it. The obvious I have-a-baby-in-my-belly look! :) And you can actually see Baby Girl move around in my stomach from across the room!! Some kind of freaky! But I'm LOVIN' it...
Well, at least some of it. ...Sunday's introduction to "real pregnancy," sort of banished that lovin' feeling. My legs and fingers started to swell. fast and furiously.
I was standing at the kitchen sink preparing tomatoes for a spaghetti sauce recipe, when suddenly my feet started to feel funny. I look down. Hm. That looks strangely familiar. Where have I seen that look before?
*thinking thinking*
Oh. Huh. That podiatric look seems oddly reminiscent of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Eh. I had hobbit feet. minus the hair.
"Honey. I can't be on my feet for much longer. I'm starting to swell." But I continue to chop, as Project Spaghetti Sauce must get done.
A few minutes later, my knees start to tingle. I look down again. "Uh, honey. You might want to come see this."
He rounds the corner, takes one look at my legs, and blurts out, "I'm thinking you need to sit down. NOW. And why don't you elevate your feet while you're at it?"
Yeah. it was scary. I'm talking I had no knees. no ankles. no remnant of muscle tones. Only two long, out-of-shape thighs. In a matter of minutes, I had gone from normal pregnant lady to Blimp Girl.
Funny how quickly Pregnant Bliss goes out the window when knees disappear, isn't it? Because suddenly people aren't asking if I'm pregnant. They just want to know if I need an EpiPen to ward off anaphylactic shock.
August 21, 2008
Hope renewed
I've had many, many people email me, wondering about the internal goings-on leading up to my deliveries. trusting me with their gut-level honest questions and disappointments.
And while I'm still planning on responding personally to those emails, I'm going to be really upfront with where I am in the coming weeks prior to the delivery on this blog. Not only for personal memory sake. but also for the sake of being real with those that are truly curious with my heart-process before God as I prepare for the God-given painfree delivery...
These last few days with the Lord have been amazing times of encouragement concerning the impending birth. Even though I've had the flu. and all that comes with it. Because oddly enough, the whole flu-thing proved to be a precious time with Him (once I stopped whining).
For as I experienced stomach cramps and pretty hard contractions (due to dehydration and stomach irritability) the Lord literally talked me through finding His peace. finding His promise. and holding onto Him. and then reminding me how to walk my body through the process of receiving that.
And THAT is a major part of what carries me through labor and delivery. the not being swept away by the noise of what's happening around me. by the nurses or machines. or by what my body is doing in preparation for the baby.
but by allowing myself to be internally quiet and focus on him and what he is saying. to find him amidst the "storm" of potential chaos and speak "peace be still" over my own body.
Not the easiest thing to do in the heat of the moment, unless it's been practiced before. you know? So it was like He gave me a little "refresher course" on finding his peace and healing in the midst of ....well, "body junk." Courtesy of The Flu.
But all has not been Roses and Gardens in the Land of Christin's Thoughts...because I've been stressing it a bit. feeling like He's not been real verbal. or offering much encouragement on any level regarding the delivery.
But then...out of the blue...he reminded me of all that he had said. Which happened to be a lot of "small" things that added up to one big revelation: The fact that He is very much aware of what's coming and very much wants to encourage me in it.
Here I'd been inclining my ear for a big Sumpin-sumpin spoken from the mouth of God. Yet. He'd been speaking the entire time. small things. simple things. things that had he not reminded me of them, I may have blown off. Why is that?!
And then last night, as Jet and I sat on the bed praying, the Lord told Jet "I'm into the details. The things that you can't even remember to pray about, I'm in control of those as well."
...That meant so much to me because I had JUST been silently praying "Lord, there's just too much for me to pray about. I feel like I could never cover it all. and that overwhelms me."
And then he goes and addresses that little mindset 10 minutes later via The Hub.
Because that's not the point of prayer, you know? to overwhelm us as we embrace some sense of duty or "have to." a place where we inevitably fall short as we beat our heads against a wall trying to do it right.
Rather, prayer is a time of sacred intimacy with Him. of giving our hearts to him and positioning ourselves to receive from him. a time to enter into lifting up that which he's already working on.
Because He wants to bless me with this birth, you know? He wants to be who He says He is through this birth. He wants to encourage me. It's his delight.
He isn't sitting on his royal throne, arms crossed, waiting for me to get it right in prayer before he moves. He WANTS to move. And he's just inviting me to be an active part as I lay my thoughts and heart before him in prayer.
And though I can't explain what transpired in those few moments of reaching out and receiving from the Lord, I can say that his words were LIFE to my hope. LIFE to my faith. LIFE to my expectancy in what is to come.
Knowing that Jet and I have heard from GOD...that he's intimately aware of the delivery's details and wants to encourage us in it...I feel I now stand on solid ground. and I get excited about what's to come.
Now...to just remain rested in that mindset:
"To set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace" (Rm. 8:6).
"Set your minds on the things above" -Col 3:2
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." (Phil 4:8)
And while I'm still planning on responding personally to those emails, I'm going to be really upfront with where I am in the coming weeks prior to the delivery on this blog. Not only for personal memory sake. but also for the sake of being real with those that are truly curious with my heart-process before God as I prepare for the God-given painfree delivery...
These last few days with the Lord have been amazing times of encouragement concerning the impending birth. Even though I've had the flu. and all that comes with it. Because oddly enough, the whole flu-thing proved to be a precious time with Him (once I stopped whining).
For as I experienced stomach cramps and pretty hard contractions (due to dehydration and stomach irritability) the Lord literally talked me through finding His peace. finding His promise. and holding onto Him. and then reminding me how to walk my body through the process of receiving that.
And THAT is a major part of what carries me through labor and delivery. the not being swept away by the noise of what's happening around me. by the nurses or machines. or by what my body is doing in preparation for the baby.
but by allowing myself to be internally quiet and focus on him and what he is saying. to find him amidst the "storm" of potential chaos and speak "peace be still" over my own body.
"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body"( Eccl 11:10)
Not the easiest thing to do in the heat of the moment, unless it's been practiced before. you know? So it was like He gave me a little "refresher course" on finding his peace and healing in the midst of ....well, "body junk." Courtesy of The Flu.
But all has not been Roses and Gardens in the Land of Christin's Thoughts...because I've been stressing it a bit. feeling like He's not been real verbal. or offering much encouragement on any level regarding the delivery.
But then...out of the blue...he reminded me of all that he had said. Which happened to be a lot of "small" things that added up to one big revelation: The fact that He is very much aware of what's coming and very much wants to encourage me in it.
Here I'd been inclining my ear for a big Sumpin-sumpin spoken from the mouth of God. Yet. He'd been speaking the entire time. small things. simple things. things that had he not reminded me of them, I may have blown off. Why is that?!
And then last night, as Jet and I sat on the bed praying, the Lord told Jet "I'm into the details. The things that you can't even remember to pray about, I'm in control of those as well."
...That meant so much to me because I had JUST been silently praying "Lord, there's just too much for me to pray about. I feel like I could never cover it all. and that overwhelms me."
And then he goes and addresses that little mindset 10 minutes later via The Hub.
Because that's not the point of prayer, you know? to overwhelm us as we embrace some sense of duty or "have to." a place where we inevitably fall short as we beat our heads against a wall trying to do it right.
Rather, prayer is a time of sacred intimacy with Him. of giving our hearts to him and positioning ourselves to receive from him. a time to enter into lifting up that which he's already working on.
Because He wants to bless me with this birth, you know? He wants to be who He says He is through this birth. He wants to encourage me. It's his delight.
He isn't sitting on his royal throne, arms crossed, waiting for me to get it right in prayer before he moves. He WANTS to move. And he's just inviting me to be an active part as I lay my thoughts and heart before him in prayer.
And though I can't explain what transpired in those few moments of reaching out and receiving from the Lord, I can say that his words were LIFE to my hope. LIFE to my faith. LIFE to my expectancy in what is to come.
Knowing that Jet and I have heard from GOD...that he's intimately aware of the delivery's details and wants to encourage us in it...I feel I now stand on solid ground. and I get excited about what's to come.
Now...to just remain rested in that mindset:
"To set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace" (Rm. 8:6).
"Set your minds on the things above" -Col 3:2
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." (Phil 4:8)
Morning Worship
The girls and I do some type of worship together in the mornings. Before Raegan's first nap.
And while it's not always a thing where the girls' attention spans are completely captivated, the atmosphere remains one of worship. ...I figure it's not my job to make them worship, you know? Just to give them opportunity to do it. daily.
Though, here...you can tell Raegan IS completely enthralled. :)
And while it's not always a thing where the girls' attention spans are completely captivated, the atmosphere remains one of worship. ...I figure it's not my job to make them worship, you know? Just to give them opportunity to do it. daily.
Though, here...you can tell Raegan IS completely enthralled. :)
Raegan (17 months) is definitely following in the footsteps of her bigger sisters. because she loves any and all things worship. She even yells out "Jesus!" at times. Now where she got that, I still don't know. But it's beyond adorable.
This particular morning, we were watching one of my all-time favorite worship videos: Hillsong's "Jesus you're my Superhero".
Raegan gets excited about dancing around and shouting for Jesus. Can you tell?
It just comes naturally for children to groove when music is playing. Might as well connect that, in their hearts, with worship. Because I know for me, worship is a full body thang! ;)
I love seeing the joy on her face as she watches others love on Jesus. And I know, in the depths of her spirit, that she is learning to follow that which she sees.
See? Already mimicking everything she sees them doing (raising their hands). One day, it will switch from following others' examples to personal, whole-hearted worship. It will have blossomed in her heart. naturally.
I love it.
I don't highly recommend videos often, but this has been a HUGE HUGE blessing for my girls. AND for me and Jet. Honestly, the first few times we watched it, Jet and I were so emotionally moved, we cried. Maybe it's just me? But there's something so moving about watching young adults teach young kids to truly worship Jesus.
If you're curious about HillSong's video...I saw a few clips on Youtube. Just go to their site and type in Jesus You're my Superhero. You'll get a few different songs.
August 19, 2008
This is a test of the emergency hormonal system....
*BEEEEPPPPP* We interrupt the regularly scheduled broadcast of "The Rantings of a Normally Sane Momma" to update you on the following. Note: May not be suitable for pacifist's eyes*
Seriously. If I hear one more "Poor Daddy!" or disappointed "Oh" when I answer: Yes, I am having another girl... then, stand back. Because I cannot be held responsible for my actions.
Okay. So maybe I'll still be responsible for them. But I won't regret them. I'm way past too annoyed for that.
I was in town today for only a few hours. And everytime! someone spoke to me (outside of those people I was hanging out with), I got disgusted and/or pity-filled comments on the lack of XY babies being birthed from my womb. All in front of my other three girls!! Are you stinkin' kidding me?!
The first one? The head nurse that took us through our little field trip of the hospital. The last one? The midwife that checked me today. And many people in between.
Unbelievable.
I'm thinking of carrying around a large shocking device. A taser, maybe? That sounds rather appealing to me at this point. 'Cause really. I'm about to haul off and beat some...
Well, you get the point. This is Crazed Momma signing off to go locate the sweeter Me.
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*
“This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The bloggers of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. Had this been an actual emergency the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. Instead it was followed by a warning to all who speak ill of a family of *gasp* only girls. (thus, be forewarned) This concludes this test."
Seriously. If I hear one more "Poor Daddy!" or disappointed "Oh" when I answer: Yes, I am having another girl... then, stand back. Because I cannot be held responsible for my actions.
Okay. So maybe I'll still be responsible for them. But I won't regret them. I'm way past too annoyed for that.
I was in town today for only a few hours. And everytime! someone spoke to me (outside of those people I was hanging out with), I got disgusted and/or pity-filled comments on the lack of XY babies being birthed from my womb. All in front of my other three girls!! Are you stinkin' kidding me?!
The first one? The head nurse that took us through our little field trip of the hospital. The last one? The midwife that checked me today. And many people in between.
Unbelievable.
I'm thinking of carrying around a large shocking device. A taser, maybe? That sounds rather appealing to me at this point. 'Cause really. I'm about to haul off and beat some...
Well, you get the point. This is Crazed Momma signing off to go locate the sweeter Me.
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*
“This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The bloggers of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. Had this been an actual emergency the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. Instead it was followed by a warning to all who speak ill of a family of *gasp* only girls. (thus, be forewarned) This concludes this test."
August 18, 2008
Our First offical home school Field Trip
None too soon, we'll be meeting this little one that is already so deeply loved.
Charis and Selah talk of her like they know her. Raegan can already say her name. Jet and I talk, as we watched our little girl roll around in my tummy, that we are having a hard time waiting to hold this little one. to see her face. to know her personality.
Though, for now, I only prepare for tomorrow: OUR TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL!
...because the two oldest girls are planning on being a part of the delivery!!
When Raegan was born, Charis and Selah were as (if not more) interested in the blood as they were their newborn sister. It was hysterical. :) Apparently I have future medical personnel on my hands.
And being that they've repeatedly watched dvds of both vaginal deliveries and C-sections without flinching, we took them seriously when they said they wanted to be in the delivery room this time. And thankfully, so did my hospital midwife, Donna.
She even mentioned how she thought it would be such a powerful and intimate memory for the girls, being that they would always have their sister-relationships. even after we, as her parents, were gone. Agreed! ;)
So Donna gave me the name and number of the woman who could make it happen. And the rest is history. Well, almost.
Tomorrow! we're taking a little "field trip" to the hospital in preparation for Charis and Selah to be with me when Baby Girl is born.
August 16, 2008
Battle of the mind
There are days when I feel I am embraced by the Truth of God. by the protection of His Heavenly Kingdom. That nothing outside of his Perfect Will can touch my life. My spirit feels entwined with heaven. And I am at peace.
Then there are the other days.
Those days where it takes everything in me to hold on. for that place feels like a well-oiled, rain-covered cliff. it's inevitable that I will slip. lose my grip on that Kingdom mindset.
Then there are the other days.
Those days where it takes everything in me to hold on. for that place feels like a well-oiled, rain-covered cliff. it's inevitable that I will slip. lose my grip on that Kingdom mindset.
And this is where I find myself. in this pre-delivery season. every time.
For those that have read of the miraculous deliveries I've had in the past and think that I just sort of skip merrily to the hospital, sneeze, and pop out a baby...you are mistaken.
I fight for it. hard.
and it seems each time I have to fight a little harder. Which, honestly, baffles me because you'd think after three supernatural deliveries, it'd get easier. But mysteriously, it has not.
The months and weeks prior to delivery, there is a tangible battle that wages over the gateway of my mind. And I am left with a constant in-your-face decision regarding faith:
faith in what God has said: He did away with sorrow and sickness. or faith (otherwise known as fear) in what the world has declared: Don't be absurd. Sorrow and sickness are prevalent. Look around you.
But this is why testimonies are so powerful. They do away with doubt. They lay the Truth in front of you. God's power, in tangible form. in a personal way.
Thus, it is there that I find rest. In the reviewing of my own testimony. In the rehearsing of what God has done before and will do again.
So often, I read the Old Testament and think "Why can't those Israelites get a clue? I mean, for real, they encamp with the Manifest Presence of God. they just saw God perform a huge miracle. And now...days later...they forget? Seriously?"
I so would've smited them and said, "Uh-huh. doubt me again." I'm gracious that way.
But then I read the New Testament and see the exact same thing in the Disciples. The very ones who walked with Jesus.
He wowed the twelve when he fed five thousand (Matt 14:13), right? Then...not too long later, he wanted to feed four thousand (Matt15:32). And the disciples' reaction? "Where do we get enough bread to feed so great a crowd?"
Are you kidding me? People, people! Are you seriously so blind? so dumb? so completely inept when it comes to holding onto what God has done before? and will surely do again?!!!
Yet. This is where I find myself time and time again. Sure, he performed amazing miracles during each of my labor and deliveries. But...but...but...
Didn't both the Israelites and the Disciples "just" see Jesus perform the exact same type of miracle a short time before they complained and/or doubted? Had they already forgotten? Or were they, too, feeling the slippery cliff of the mind coming into play? That mental cliff that defies all past experience and mocks you as you stare the reality of the situation in the face and try to hold onto God's truth.
Maybe they weren't so stupid afterall? ...or maybe I just happen to fall in line with their type of stupidity. Great.
But I press on. determined to conquer this human mindset of "Yeah, But..."
And I will read and re-read the Word. Think and rethink of the past miracles. Set my mind on the things of God. the past intervention of God during my labors. I will choose to not hold onto the lies that the enemy is throwing at me rapid-fire.
And I will rest in the fact that even when my grasp on His Truth slips, His hand holds me still. For I am in His Grip.
August 15, 2008
34 Weeks Pregnant
The Final Countdown. @ 153 lbs.
It's been flying by! When I was pregnant with Charis, I knew...down to the day...how far along I was. I knew exactly what development was happening inside the confines of my uterus. I was on top of the whole pregnancy countdown.
But with this pregnancy, I'm having to constantly look at my calendar to remember what week I'm even on. Jet and I will lay in bed and "argue" back and forth about the week. He always seems to think I'm further along than I really am. The big lug. :)
But who can blame him? I don't even know my exact due date!! Maybe because the midwives all say "sometime in September"? So that's become my official "date" I suppose.
It's been flying by! When I was pregnant with Charis, I knew...down to the day...how far along I was. I knew exactly what development was happening inside the confines of my uterus. I was on top of the whole pregnancy countdown.
But with this pregnancy, I'm having to constantly look at my calendar to remember what week I'm even on. Jet and I will lay in bed and "argue" back and forth about the week. He always seems to think I'm further along than I really am. The big lug. :)
But who can blame him? I don't even know my exact due date!! Maybe because the midwives all say "sometime in September"? So that's become my official "date" I suppose.
Already, I'm feeling "pressure". For those that have delivered before, you know what I mean. And the practice contractions kicked in long ago. sometimes feeling not so "practice". ...I can definitely tell my body is gearing up for labor.
And so my mind follows. trying to take a firm hold on what God has in store for me during this delivery.
But those thoughts will have to wait for the time being. As I hope to spend the entirety of the day with my girls. On our Day Off from school.
August 14, 2008
"Someday my Prince will Come..."
*picture taken of Selah on her first day of Preschool this year...
Selah is standing in my room, looking at a framed picture in silence. One of The Man and I on our wedding day.
"Mommy, were you Daddy's Queen when you got married?"
Love it.
Don't you just sometimes marvel over the way a little girl's mind works? I do. Even at such a young age, they are already drawn to love and romance and being completely captivating to a man.
I hope she never loses that. I pray she wisely guards her heart and waits for The Man that will not only fulfill her heart's dreams. but God's dreams for her heart as well.
August 13, 2008
Home School Prep -Part 3
The Overall Heart of our Home (school)
One thing I've found as a woman... you cannot compare yourself to anyone else and still live an emotionally sound life. Comparison will eat you alive. There is, undoubtedly, no way around that. For in the mind of a female lives the indelible pull to self-critique and come up lacking.
And in the world of home schooling, that truth definitely holds true. Times ten. If you spend time and energy researching what every one else does, how they make it happen, how they get through their day, how their children best learn, etc etc... you will surely burn out. always ending up on the "less than" side.
For no child is the same. No mother the same. No family dynamic the same. Therefore no home school can be the same. If I were to get caught up in the "Keeping up with the Jones" as far as home education is concerned, I'd always feel like I were struggling to keep up.
pressing my children to be someone they were not. and losing out in the heart of home schooling: Getting to know MY children and encouraging them in becoming their best.
I've found such freedom in embracing this mindset. It's been a *deathblow* to the streak of perfectionism that runs thru me concerning educating my child. this knowledge that I am creating (OUR) family atmosphere that no one else has created before. Therefore, that no one has perfected before me.
THEREFORE, I am free to create...free to explore...free to make mistakes through trial and error. Sounds exactly like what I want for my children's school year of learning. Them feeling the freedom to learn through making a mess of things.
Finding the Heartbeat:
Once I felt I had our schedule set up (as flexible as it really is), I wanted to focus on what my purpose in home schooling them was. Not for legalism sake. But for keeping things in perspective.
Especially during this particular family season: Lots of little ones. pregnancy. Daddy's night school, etc. Life, for us, is smack dab in the middle of transition on all sides. So for me to think that I'm going to attain some sort of stringent "way to do things" won't work. I'll fall over from stomach ulcers before the first six-weeks period is over.
What is my heart for this season of home schooling, you ask?
Though I'm not quite sure how to answer that question with concise words, I can most definitely say that it is not to recreate public school in our own four walls: sitting at a desk. learning quick facts from a text- or workbook. shuffling their thoughts from subject to subject by the ringing of the bell (or clock alarm).
And though I may lack the perfect wording to describe what I'm thinking, I've run across other people's words that seem to encapsulate my heart perfectly. How's that for convenient? :)
This will be a stretch for me. I am a homebody at this point in life. One who happens to like order and all things clean. Hmmm...Lord? *wry grin*
With Raegan (17 months) wanting to explore the world with all five of her wobbly senses, there is no rest when she is outside. I must be on my feet and on my guard the entire exhausting time of it.
But my heart is to get over that and jump in exploring with all three of them. to allow MY own adventurous spirit to awaken and emerge once more. to encourage them in their imagination. and to maybe be reunited with the depth of my own. Letting them see, firsthand, that life's equation is NOT: Peak Imagination must happen before the age of seven..right before calm maturity must set in.
My goal this year to create a love for learning. Whereas it's tempting to just adhere to the SOLs in preparation for the end-of-the-year test... I want to, instead, focus on birthing in them an insatiable desire to learn.
So that they, for the remainder of their life, will continue to learn. not because they have to. but because they want to. because it has been laid into the foundational parts of their mindset concerning how they interact with the world around them.
In my heart of hearts, I know this cannot be established if I don't allow them to have fun. to laugh with me on a daily basis. to see me enjoying what we're doing instead of my just rushing through so we can check it off our daily list of accomplishments.
Lots of lots of hands-on projects is the hope here. And honestly? even as I type that, I think "Oh dear, God, give me strength." Because honestly, I'm tired. Really really tired. I've recently been introduced to a determined streak of "strong will" in my 17 month-old and I'm getting ready to bring another baby into the world. So I foresee my free time and available energy becoming less and less existent.
And "Hands-On" screams all about the need for MORE and MORE time and energy.
But regardless of where we are in this particular stage of life, "Hands-On" is still a foundational hope concerning the heart of our home schooling years. It may not happen perfectly this year. Or next. But it's all part of the vision nonetheless....
When I read that above quote, the word Adventurous comes to mind. Whereas, I know it can pertain to the Three R's...perfecting the art of reading, writing, and arithmetic... it's not where my mind goes.
My mind goes to rock climbing. cliff jumping. surfing. snow skiing. gymnastics. ...all the talents that I envy when I see others excelling in.
And the only way those others became proficient was by first TRYING it. That is what I want for my girls. The opportunity to try things that they haven't yet tried. to instill in them an unwavering confidence that they are capable of accomplishing great and mighty things.
before they acquire a fear of the unknown and they learn to remain content standing on the sidelines envying those who are out there doing it.
I want to allow time for adventure and daring. And I refuse to allow others fears (mine included) to become a part of the framework of their minds. I know you know of those people whom I speak...those fearfully-minded people who cannot keep from saying "be careful"..."watch out"..."slow down" etc etc when the slightest bit of "chance" is taken.
BUT I want my girls to learn to take a chance. Yes, to have wisdom in it. but to not shrink back in fear of it. or of life in general. I want them to learn to attack life and all its opportunities with brazen boldness. Something I was never encouraged to do, but want deeply to encourage my girls to become.
This whole concept of respect may be the key to what started me looking in the direction of home schooling in the first place. ...My seeing, firsthand, how teachers didn't always respect the child as an equal. as a person.
I was a substitute teacher for 5 years (most of those years during my college career). I became such a permanent fixture at a particular school that some joked how I was there more than the full-time teachers. So I got to really know the teachers. the students. and their dynamic relationships.
Yes, there are teachers who seem to have the innate ability to bring out the best in the children. And to those teachers, I applaud!! But I also came across a handful of teachers lacking in that ability (and many others) that really impacted me.
Teachers who thought nothing of crassly degrading a child, publicly, in front of his peers and me (who, at the time, was the young cool teacher that everyone wanted to impress). I saw it repeatedly. But one time in particular stands. The details I'll leave out. But I can say that I had to control my temper as this teacher spoke to me about a particular student. in front of the entire class. with the boy sitting right where we stood.
And I remember his facial expression of defeat as the other teacher left the room. I felt his broken heart as I tried to contain my anger at the teacher's haughty attitude of "hmph. showed him." I was ready to spit nails. To say there was no respect for the student would be a gross understatement.
Anyway. As horrible as that interaction was, I am finding that it's easy for me as a parent to get used to treating my children as "less thans". Am I the only one who has found this?! Like when I feel completely justified in my impatience at their immaturity. or when I feel right when I raise my voice in the "because I said so" type of attitude. those lovely parental moments.
But I want them to be surrounded by love. to know that, even though they make huge mistakes in their learning processes (and in life, in general!), that it's not a big deal. life happens. accidents are inevitable. failures come. But THE PERSON is still precious and more important.
So...what do I want for our home school days?
-I want to create an atmosphere where learning happens naturally.
-where true education, in all its messy glory, is fully welcome.
-where our days, in all their unavoidable moments of "less thans," are embraced for the opportunity to learn from the mistake instead of embracing guilt over it.
-where all of our senses are on the look out for God's profound ability to create joy in the hidden moments of the everyday.
THIS is what I want for our year. More than perfect scores on the tests. More than concepts mastered and reading levels advanced yet again. I want a home life of JOY, experience, creative expression, and confidence.
Because I believe that if my girls are raised in that atmosphere...are giving the chance to saturate themselves in that mindset...that they will be well-equipped to embrace whatever adventure the Lord has laid out before them.
And that is what matters at the end of the day. at the end of time.
that they embraced Life with creative and joyful confidence. loving the learning process. not despising the process of trial and error.
One thing I've found as a woman... you cannot compare yourself to anyone else and still live an emotionally sound life. Comparison will eat you alive. There is, undoubtedly, no way around that. For in the mind of a female lives the indelible pull to self-critique and come up lacking.
And in the world of home schooling, that truth definitely holds true. Times ten. If you spend time and energy researching what every one else does, how they make it happen, how they get through their day, how their children best learn, etc etc... you will surely burn out. always ending up on the "less than" side.
For no child is the same. No mother the same. No family dynamic the same. Therefore no home school can be the same. If I were to get caught up in the "Keeping up with the Jones" as far as home education is concerned, I'd always feel like I were struggling to keep up.
pressing my children to be someone they were not. and losing out in the heart of home schooling: Getting to know MY children and encouraging them in becoming their best.
I've found such freedom in embracing this mindset. It's been a *deathblow* to the streak of perfectionism that runs thru me concerning educating my child. this knowledge that I am creating (OUR) family atmosphere that no one else has created before. Therefore, that no one has perfected before me.
THEREFORE, I am free to create...free to explore...free to make mistakes through trial and error. Sounds exactly like what I want for my children's school year of learning. Them feeling the freedom to learn through making a mess of things.
Finding the Heartbeat:
Once I felt I had our schedule set up (as flexible as it really is), I wanted to focus on what my purpose in home schooling them was. Not for legalism sake. But for keeping things in perspective.
Especially during this particular family season: Lots of little ones. pregnancy. Daddy's night school, etc. Life, for us, is smack dab in the middle of transition on all sides. So for me to think that I'm going to attain some sort of stringent "way to do things" won't work. I'll fall over from stomach ulcers before the first six-weeks period is over.
What is my heart for this season of home schooling, you ask?
Though I'm not quite sure how to answer that question with concise words, I can most definitely say that it is not to recreate public school in our own four walls: sitting at a desk. learning quick facts from a text- or workbook. shuffling their thoughts from subject to subject by the ringing of the bell (or clock alarm).
And though I may lack the perfect wording to describe what I'm thinking, I've run across other people's words that seem to encapsulate my heart perfectly. How's that for convenient? :)
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert EinsteinI don't want to just have them sit in their seats, reading about life. But I want them to get out and experience it. to have lots of time set aside to laugh. explore. dream. create. Which boils down to lots of time spent outside. getting filthy. exploring to their hearts' content.
This will be a stretch for me. I am a homebody at this point in life. One who happens to like order and all things clean. Hmmm...Lord? *wry grin*
With Raegan (17 months) wanting to explore the world with all five of her wobbly senses, there is no rest when she is outside. I must be on my feet and on my guard the entire exhausting time of it.
But my heart is to get over that and jump in exploring with all three of them. to allow MY own adventurous spirit to awaken and emerge once more. to encourage them in their imagination. and to maybe be reunited with the depth of my own. Letting them see, firsthand, that life's equation is NOT: Peak Imagination must happen before the age of seven..right before calm maturity must set in.
"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life." Plato
My goal this year to create a love for learning. Whereas it's tempting to just adhere to the SOLs in preparation for the end-of-the-year test... I want to, instead, focus on birthing in them an insatiable desire to learn.
So that they, for the remainder of their life, will continue to learn. not because they have to. but because they want to. because it has been laid into the foundational parts of their mindset concerning how they interact with the world around them.
In my heart of hearts, I know this cannot be established if I don't allow them to have fun. to laugh with me on a daily basis. to see me enjoying what we're doing instead of my just rushing through so we can check it off our daily list of accomplishments.
"I hear and forget. I see and remember. I do and understand." Chinese proverb
Lots of lots of hands-on projects is the hope here. And honestly? even as I type that, I think "Oh dear, God, give me strength." Because honestly, I'm tired. Really really tired. I've recently been introduced to a determined streak of "strong will" in my 17 month-old and I'm getting ready to bring another baby into the world. So I foresee my free time and available energy becoming less and less existent.
And "Hands-On" screams all about the need for MORE and MORE time and energy.
But regardless of where we are in this particular stage of life, "Hands-On" is still a foundational hope concerning the heart of our home schooling years. It may not happen perfectly this year. Or next. But it's all part of the vision nonetheless....
"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I read that above quote, the word Adventurous comes to mind. Whereas, I know it can pertain to the Three R's...perfecting the art of reading, writing, and arithmetic... it's not where my mind goes.
My mind goes to rock climbing. cliff jumping. surfing. snow skiing. gymnastics. ...all the talents that I envy when I see others excelling in.
And the only way those others became proficient was by first TRYING it. That is what I want for my girls. The opportunity to try things that they haven't yet tried. to instill in them an unwavering confidence that they are capable of accomplishing great and mighty things.
before they acquire a fear of the unknown and they learn to remain content standing on the sidelines envying those who are out there doing it.
I want to allow time for adventure and daring. And I refuse to allow others fears (mine included) to become a part of the framework of their minds. I know you know of those people whom I speak...those fearfully-minded people who cannot keep from saying "be careful"..."watch out"..."slow down" etc etc when the slightest bit of "chance" is taken.
BUT I want my girls to learn to take a chance. Yes, to have wisdom in it. but to not shrink back in fear of it. or of life in general. I want them to learn to attack life and all its opportunities with brazen boldness. Something I was never encouraged to do, but want deeply to encourage my girls to become.
"The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil." Ralph Waldo Emerson
This whole concept of respect may be the key to what started me looking in the direction of home schooling in the first place. ...My seeing, firsthand, how teachers didn't always respect the child as an equal. as a person.
I was a substitute teacher for 5 years (most of those years during my college career). I became such a permanent fixture at a particular school that some joked how I was there more than the full-time teachers. So I got to really know the teachers. the students. and their dynamic relationships.
Yes, there are teachers who seem to have the innate ability to bring out the best in the children. And to those teachers, I applaud!! But I also came across a handful of teachers lacking in that ability (and many others) that really impacted me.
Teachers who thought nothing of crassly degrading a child, publicly, in front of his peers and me (who, at the time, was the young cool teacher that everyone wanted to impress). I saw it repeatedly. But one time in particular stands. The details I'll leave out. But I can say that I had to control my temper as this teacher spoke to me about a particular student. in front of the entire class. with the boy sitting right where we stood.
And I remember his facial expression of defeat as the other teacher left the room. I felt his broken heart as I tried to contain my anger at the teacher's haughty attitude of "hmph. showed him." I was ready to spit nails. To say there was no respect for the student would be a gross understatement.
Anyway. As horrible as that interaction was, I am finding that it's easy for me as a parent to get used to treating my children as "less thans". Am I the only one who has found this?! Like when I feel completely justified in my impatience at their immaturity. or when I feel right when I raise my voice in the "because I said so" type of attitude. those lovely parental moments.
But I want them to be surrounded by love. to know that, even though they make huge mistakes in their learning processes (and in life, in general!), that it's not a big deal. life happens. accidents are inevitable. failures come. But THE PERSON is still precious and more important.
So...what do I want for our home school days?
-I want to create an atmosphere where learning happens naturally.
-where true education, in all its messy glory, is fully welcome.
-where our days, in all their unavoidable moments of "less thans," are embraced for the opportunity to learn from the mistake instead of embracing guilt over it.
-where all of our senses are on the look out for God's profound ability to create joy in the hidden moments of the everyday.
THIS is what I want for our year. More than perfect scores on the tests. More than concepts mastered and reading levels advanced yet again. I want a home life of JOY, experience, creative expression, and confidence.
Because I believe that if my girls are raised in that atmosphere...are giving the chance to saturate themselves in that mindset...that they will be well-equipped to embrace whatever adventure the Lord has laid out before them.
And that is what matters at the end of the day. at the end of time.
that they embraced Life with creative and joyful confidence. loving the learning process. not despising the process of trial and error.
August 12, 2008
Busy busy
One day I'll finish my thoughts on OUR homeschooling home. And add a thought or two about all the Lord is doing. These are things I don't want to forget.
But for now, all I'm able to focus on is the fact that my time before Baby Girl #4 is short and there is much to do.
So I paint. And to take a break from that...I venture into the attic to retrieve six massive storage bins of girl's clothes to organize.
Oh. And home school. :)
But for now, all I'm able to focus on is the fact that my time before Baby Girl #4 is short and there is much to do.
So I paint. And to take a break from that...I venture into the attic to retrieve six massive storage bins of girl's clothes to organize.
Oh. And home school. :)
August 10, 2008
Sweet Sweet Saturday
Saturdays around here mean one of two things: time spent with Daddy. sleeping in. late breakfasts specially fixed by The Daddy. working around the house or doing something fun as a family.
OR
Getting up early. throwing on some clothes, preferably clean though definitely not a necessity. eating in the car. and driving around shopping at the beloved Neighborhood Yard Sale.
I love summers. And The Yard Sale is one aspect I love. For oh-so-many reasons, but one of which is because I get to "fun shop"!! Something I rarely, if ever, do because:
1. We don't have the extra money right now.
2. I can no longer bring myself to buy brand new. My theory...it gets stained and/or broken in record time. AND...why not let other people spend the big bucks and then, turn around and sell it to me for a quarter?!
That said, I've been shopping on and off these last months of Saturday. sometimes for naught. But it finally happened!! The Saturday that I've been waiting for ALL SUMMER: The Jackpot Saturday Of Yard Sales
...where I find things we truly need. laid out in someone's front yard.
...specific multiple someone's who have households of all GIRLS!! older than mine. who obviously are perfect children who do not stain or wrinkle their clothes.
...who's parents apparently cannot buy outside the doors of High Priced Chain Stores. and who come equipped with a lovely little inclination to price their yard sale things for a quarter. by the masses.
Okay. I'm better.
*BEHOLD!* The Booty in All Its Wonder:
Girl Clothes Round One:
2 pairs of pants, 2 sweaters, 6 dresses, 16 pairs of new socks. Mostly for Charis, who is the one in need! ...Gymboree, Limited Too, ...All name brand. ALL like new.
Girl Clothes Round Two:
11 like new shirts, 1 newborn outfit, 1 sweater, 1 lounge outfit, 1 pair of pajamas, 1 (more) dress... Again, mostly for Charis, the oldest girl and therefore incapable of receiving hand-me-downs from her sisters. Again, Old Navy, Gap, Gymboree, Limited Too brand names.
OR
Getting up early. throwing on some clothes, preferably clean though definitely not a necessity. eating in the car. and driving around shopping at the beloved Neighborhood Yard Sale.
I love summers. And The Yard Sale is one aspect I love. For oh-so-many reasons, but one of which is because I get to "fun shop"!! Something I rarely, if ever, do because:
1. We don't have the extra money right now.
2. I can no longer bring myself to buy brand new. My theory...it gets stained and/or broken in record time. AND...why not let other people spend the big bucks and then, turn around and sell it to me for a quarter?!
That said, I've been shopping on and off these last months of Saturday. sometimes for naught. But it finally happened!! The Saturday that I've been waiting for ALL SUMMER: The Jackpot Saturday Of Yard Sales
...where I find things we truly need. laid out in someone's front yard.
...specific multiple someone's who have households of all GIRLS!! older than mine. who obviously are perfect children who do not stain or wrinkle their clothes.
...who's parents apparently cannot buy outside the doors of High Priced Chain Stores. and who come equipped with a lovely little inclination to price their yard sale things for a quarter. by the masses.
....I'm sorry but I must pause for a Moment of Silence. 'Tis a truly sacred moment. This serious provision of God I'm getting ready to reveal....
Okay. I'm better.
*BEHOLD!* The Booty in All Its Wonder:
Girl Clothes Round One:2 pairs of pants, 2 sweaters, 6 dresses, 16 pairs of new socks. Mostly for Charis, who is the one in need! ...Gymboree, Limited Too, ...All name brand. ALL like new.
Girl Clothes Round Two:11 like new shirts, 1 newborn outfit, 1 sweater, 1 lounge outfit, 1 pair of pajamas, 1 (more) dress... Again, mostly for Charis, the oldest girl and therefore incapable of receiving hand-me-downs from her sisters. Again, Old Navy, Gap, Gymboree, Limited Too brand names.
Maternity Clothes:
1 summer sleepwear set (I'm sure Jet is tired of me wearing his boxers...I know I am), 4 shirts (all of which can be worn post-pregnancy too!), lounge/exercise pants, 2 pairs of capris. ....more brand names.
School stuff:
Two gorgeous, brand new "nature books" that we were going to have to buy. Soon. Complete with handmade paper inside. Perfect.
A large set of colorful bulletin board type "posters" for language arts. Like new.
A book of daily holidays and unit studies for each. I'm loving this book!
An organizational thingy for their room. In the true color of girls. Pink.
Summer Time stuff for Kids:
3 like-new swimsuits (two for Charis, one 2T) All brand name. All like new.
3 pairs of much needed shoes (one of which is brand new with tags)
1 swimsuit cover-up skirt
1 Gap winter coat for Charis. Like new. Paid $6. Fits her perfectly.
Can I tell you how stoked I am?!!! Because really, I am. Ask Jet's family, who was here, when I returned home with The Booty. I couldn't stop talking about it. looking at it. smiling over it.
Ah. Sweet bliss.
And why you ask? Because I came away with (at a very modest Internet-educated guess) at least $750 worth of clothes.
All for a whopping $33.
So how are we attacking debt (or at least not going into more), you ask? By having yearly yardsales and using the money for necessities. By not buying new (when it can be helped. obviously undergarments, food, diapers are new. You gotta draw the line somewhere, eh?). By utilizing other people's need to purge their house of things and shopping their yard sales. And By being willing to go without for a while.
Because yes, there are things that I'd like to have. Trust me. There are LARGE lists of Wants if I'm perfectly honest. But sometimes you just need to wait. And give God a chance to provide.
Like He did for me. Yesterday at my JackPot Weekend of Yardsales!!!
August 8, 2008
Home school Prep- Part 2
When we made the final decision to home school Charis for 1st grade, I said how I had to know, in my heart of hearts, that it would be done with utmost integrity.
... not half-heartedly. not half-committed. nor half-prepared. Because I know me. I don't do something half-way. Either I do it 100%. Or I... don't.
And though Charis more than excelled in her kindergarten year, I didn't feel like I "did it", you know? We had no set schedule. no specific goals. and therefore no "real" measurement of what we were doing.
So this year, her 1st grade year, had to be different. If I was taking on the education of my children for this season, I knew I had to set it up so that I could teach with integrity.
Meaning:
--it would have the full dedication of my time and energy. that they had my complete attention during learning time
--my depth of creativity would strive to engage their minds. that I would spend time actually planning fun and exciting things that would stimulate their brains and birth in them a love for learning.
--and most importantly, that I would do so with the fullness of joy in my heart. Notice, I didn't say happiness. Joy...handed down from the Father. Not based on circumstances. but something practiced. intentional. chosen.
Because I don't want to be a grouchy mom trudging my way through home schooling. Always annoyed that they aren't getting it right. doing it perfectly. or acting like mini-adults.
If I cannot do it with a smile... create an atmosphere of joy in the midst of learning for them... cause them to want to learn just by my attitude and approach concerning it... Then I don't want to do it. Period. What good comes from having a miserable mom/teacher?
SOOO for me, all of the above simply cannot happen unless the atmosphere I am surrounded in is pleasing. practical. and peaceful. Therefore, these last months have been spent preparing both myself and our home to do just that.
SETTING THE STAGE: THE HOME. THE CLASSROOM. THE EXPRESSION of LEARNING:
Since my mind is wired to respond to organization and beauty and comfort, I've just "finished" revamping my home (there's still more changes to come). making it more kid-friendly and less formal feeling. Because what child can learn in an environment where they don't feel they can let loose? Where there are rooms that they feel they must avoid when kicking back?
So a month ago, I prepped the home. Brought down the colorful table from the girls' room to the dining room. Along with some not-so-pretty storage containers filled with art supplies of all kinds. Carried toys and games and books down the stairs and set them throughout the house.
... not half-heartedly. not half-committed. nor half-prepared. Because I know me. I don't do something half-way. Either I do it 100%. Or I... don't.
And though Charis more than excelled in her kindergarten year, I didn't feel like I "did it", you know? We had no set schedule. no specific goals. and therefore no "real" measurement of what we were doing.
So this year, her 1st grade year, had to be different. If I was taking on the education of my children for this season, I knew I had to set it up so that I could teach with integrity.
Meaning:
--it would have the full dedication of my time and energy. that they had my complete attention during learning time
--my depth of creativity would strive to engage their minds. that I would spend time actually planning fun and exciting things that would stimulate their brains and birth in them a love for learning.
--and most importantly, that I would do so with the fullness of joy in my heart. Notice, I didn't say happiness. Joy...handed down from the Father. Not based on circumstances. but something practiced. intentional. chosen.
Because I don't want to be a grouchy mom trudging my way through home schooling. Always annoyed that they aren't getting it right. doing it perfectly. or acting like mini-adults.
If I cannot do it with a smile... create an atmosphere of joy in the midst of learning for them... cause them to want to learn just by my attitude and approach concerning it... Then I don't want to do it. Period. What good comes from having a miserable mom/teacher?
SOOO for me, all of the above simply cannot happen unless the atmosphere I am surrounded in is pleasing. practical. and peaceful. Therefore, these last months have been spent preparing both myself and our home to do just that.
SETTING THE STAGE: THE HOME. THE CLASSROOM. THE EXPRESSION of LEARNING:
Since my mind is wired to respond to organization and beauty and comfort, I've just "finished" revamping my home (there's still more changes to come). making it more kid-friendly and less formal feeling. Because what child can learn in an environment where they don't feel they can let loose? Where there are rooms that they feel they must avoid when kicking back?
So a month ago, I prepped the home. Brought down the colorful table from the girls' room to the dining room. Along with some not-so-pretty storage containers filled with art supplies of all kinds. Carried toys and games and books down the stairs and set them throughout the house.
I figured it was time for a change. Especially after the Lord told me "You feel happiest when surrounded by color. When you are surrounded by life!" And really, what's more colorful and life-giving than children's toys? and the subsequent playing of said toys?!!
After all, we ARE a family with lots of kids. May as well live like they aren't kept locked in the attic. I mean, yeah they are and all ...but we don't want to look like it, right? *wink/tease*
After all, we ARE a family with lots of kids. May as well live like they aren't kept locked in the attic. I mean, yeah they are and all ...but we don't want to look like it, right? *wink/tease*
And the results have been amazing! Craft items of all kinds are at the ready disposal of the girls. They use their table non-stop throughout the day. AND *drum roll* even Jet and I like it!! (I grew up in a house where I felt, as a child, everything had to look like it was out of a magazine. And I didn't want to do recreate that in my home...for my children. So I wanted the balanced look of kid-friendly yet beautiful. And I truly love the way it's coming together!)
Every room now has some sort of learning opportunity for them to engage in. A place for them to kick back and relax and play and learn and just be. Our home now feels like the Stage has been Set to Learn.
So then I moved on to the next phase: FINDING THE HEARTBEAT...to be continued
August 6, 2008
Homeschool Prep -Part 1
Our Daily Schedule:
After much thought and research and rough drafts and... this is the schedule we'll try to follow for our 2008-2009 home schooling day:
Charis's First Grade Year. Selah's Preschool Year. Raegan's Toddler Year. Baby Girl #4 Birth Year. :)
Not long ago, I had mentioned feeling overwhelmed as I was trying to wrap up the finishing details of our daily/year schedule. And how, in a split second, God changed the large majority of what I had taken three months to plan.
Well, that all surrounded "Galloping the Globe."
This Geography-based curriculum essentially takes the student through a study of the world by continents... broken down into selected countries. My plan was to take three years to complete it, changing the country of focus every two to three weeks. focusing on Europe and Asia our first year.
But it was overwhelming. I wanted to really study the countries. leave the girls with a strong basis for each land and its people. not feel pressured by time and schedule, especially if the girls wanted to go in-depth in their learning. which, for me, is a big reason to home school.
But all I felt that three week period would turn out to be, for us as a family, was an information cram-session and stress overload. It felt rushed. knowledge-shallow. and overall exhaustive.
So immediately after I prayed, the Lord laid it on my heart to, instead, do a year-long unit study of just Mexico.
We're already studying Spanish. Our church is bi-lingual. Our county is almost 1/2 Hispanic (though unfortunately not our particular town). I've been to Mexico twice and have some sort of understanding of the culture. The whole thing just made sense to me. (note: I'm sure the Lord appreciates hearing that His All-Knowing "suggestion" made sense to me.)
AND then the plan is to have Jet take Charis to Mexico next summer. Where she would get to actually submerse herself in the land, the people, and the language as Daddy and Daughter minister together on a church missions trip.
It's a perfect mix of putting to use what she's been learning, seeing that other children don't live as she does and! learning to step out in faith representing Jesus and his power to the world. All of which are priceless experiences at her young age.
The whole thing just gets me EXCITED. Which is a huge difference from where I was before. I no longer feel pressure to do a geography study (regardless of how small) every day. I no longer feel pressure at all! Instead, I can use the entire year to focus on Mexico's native culture, food, language, animals, etc etc. At our own pace. In our own time frame. As in depth as the girls want to go (or not go).
Leaving the girls with a lasting knowledge of this neighboring land and precious people!!
At this point (our first week almost over), we are yet to officially begin the unit study. But honestly, I'm not stressed. We have all year. I feel at peace. Knowing that I haven't set myself up, from the get-go, with too much on my plate. Especially being that Baby Girl will be here next month.
Thanks, Lord. Your oh-so-insightful suggestion is much appreciated. *wink*
After much thought and research and rough drafts and... this is the schedule we'll try to follow for our 2008-2009 home schooling day:
Charis's First Grade Year. Selah's Preschool Year. Raegan's Toddler Year. Baby Girl #4 Birth Year. :)
Not long ago, I had mentioned feeling overwhelmed as I was trying to wrap up the finishing details of our daily/year schedule. And how, in a split second, God changed the large majority of what I had taken three months to plan.
Well, that all surrounded "Galloping the Globe."
This Geography-based curriculum essentially takes the student through a study of the world by continents... broken down into selected countries. My plan was to take three years to complete it, changing the country of focus every two to three weeks. focusing on Europe and Asia our first year.
But it was overwhelming. I wanted to really study the countries. leave the girls with a strong basis for each land and its people. not feel pressured by time and schedule, especially if the girls wanted to go in-depth in their learning. which, for me, is a big reason to home school.
But all I felt that three week period would turn out to be, for us as a family, was an information cram-session and stress overload. It felt rushed. knowledge-shallow. and overall exhaustive.
So immediately after I prayed, the Lord laid it on my heart to, instead, do a year-long unit study of just Mexico.
We're already studying Spanish. Our church is bi-lingual. Our county is almost 1/2 Hispanic (though unfortunately not our particular town). I've been to Mexico twice and have some sort of understanding of the culture. The whole thing just made sense to me. (note: I'm sure the Lord appreciates hearing that His All-Knowing "suggestion" made sense to me.)
AND then the plan is to have Jet take Charis to Mexico next summer. Where she would get to actually submerse herself in the land, the people, and the language as Daddy and Daughter minister together on a church missions trip.
It's a perfect mix of putting to use what she's been learning, seeing that other children don't live as she does and! learning to step out in faith representing Jesus and his power to the world. All of which are priceless experiences at her young age.
The whole thing just gets me EXCITED. Which is a huge difference from where I was before. I no longer feel pressure to do a geography study (regardless of how small) every day. I no longer feel pressure at all! Instead, I can use the entire year to focus on Mexico's native culture, food, language, animals, etc etc. At our own pace. In our own time frame. As in depth as the girls want to go (or not go).
Leaving the girls with a lasting knowledge of this neighboring land and precious people!!
At this point (our first week almost over), we are yet to officially begin the unit study. But honestly, I'm not stressed. We have all year. I feel at peace. Knowing that I haven't set myself up, from the get-go, with too much on my plate. Especially being that Baby Girl will be here next month.
Thanks, Lord. Your oh-so-insightful suggestion is much appreciated. *wink*
August 5, 2008
Family Worship
One thing that I thought about when considering our home school schedule was: What's important to us as a family. What we, as parents, want to help them become.
And from that, I decided that we'd spend a large part of our educational day learning how to be intimate with Jesus.
how to be attentive to him. pour out our heart to him in worship. be creative in worship. give our personal giftings back to God in the day-to-day. honor him in our relationship with others.
And even though it's only Day 2, I can tell that God is honoring my heart as a mother and causing that hour to be a holy time of impartation.
YESTERDAY:
As we worshipped to a Darrel Evans CD, I felt a prophetic word for each of them well up inside my heart. I was so overwhelmed with the weight of it, that I cried as I shared this heavenly insight with them.
Even now as I see those things in print, I think "man, how brazen". But isn't that what God is? He boldly speaks excellence into our potential, birthing his plan through the spoken word.
And the fact that he laid this heavily on my heart on our First Day of School, in the First Hour, means so much to me. Gives me hope when I feel overwhelmed with the decision to home school with a baby due next month.
Of course, the "warm fuzzy" feelings didn't last the entire time. The instruments became a focal point for an argument. "That's mine! I had it first!" blah blah blah
But thankfully, before I joined in the ranks of yelling, God imparted to me wisdom that I got to share with my girlies...
And as little girl tears flowed, we got to talk about the heart of True Worship.
TODAY:
We were all worshipping, each in our own way. Dancing. Playing instruments. Singing. Twirling and laughing. When another fight broke out. You know, like they do when you are praising the God of Glory. *grin*
My immediate reaction was "You've got to be kidding me. Not happening in my house! You are so going to learn how to worship if it kills me." ...or something to that reverent extent, I'm sure. ;)
But just like yesterday, the Holy Spirit allowed me to not react, but to use it as a teaching moment. We talked about how things were not as important as people. That it was the relationships in our lives that we'd get to keep forever. Not the stuff. Not the money.
I shared how there were actually people who gave up their relationships with family members over "stuff". And they froze. "There are?!" Yes, there are people who refuse to even talk to their family members because of a fight over money or material possessions. Based on their sobering reactions, I knew that statement had hit home. *thank you, Jesus*
For me the conversation was pivotal. An eye opener as a mom to see how God plans to sovereignly use this short season of home schooling. giving me ample opportunity to deeply invest Godly Wisdom into them at a young age.
I absolutely love that they are getting to learn the importance of people over money at this age. Because even my husband and I have seen where grown adults have chosen greed and lust of money over family relationships. It's never pretty. But it's a heart reality/temptation that we all must choose to put off at some point in our life. The question of "Will I treat my stuff better than I treat this person?"
Even as a parent. I find myself getting frustrated if my girls stain the couch or rug or a brand new piece of clothing. But I always have to remind myself (and them): "I love you more than I love this couch."
And though it sounds like a duh statement, it's really not. Not if I were to allow my anger over the stain to cause me to lash out and bruise them emotionally.
So we talked about that as well. How it is a hard thing, even as an adult, to treat people with love if they were to take our favorite toy and intentionally break it. I confessed that I didn't know that I'd be able to respond in kindness in that situation.
And in that moment, all three of us (Raegan was still twirling at that point, I think) sat down in a circle, held hands and prayed. Asking God to forgive us for the times that we haven't responded in love. to help us to choose people/relationships over stuff.
It was truly, truly a sweet time. One that I know they'll remember years from now. even when the specific Language Arts lesson that we're getting ready to study will be forgotten.
Because these are the lessons that go deep. The God led ones. The Spirit inspired moments. The times that truly mold the way that they think. and the person that they ultimately become.
And from that, I decided that we'd spend a large part of our educational day learning how to be intimate with Jesus.
how to be attentive to him. pour out our heart to him in worship. be creative in worship. give our personal giftings back to God in the day-to-day. honor him in our relationship with others.
And even though it's only Day 2, I can tell that God is honoring my heart as a mother and causing that hour to be a holy time of impartation.
YESTERDAY:
As we worshipped to a Darrel Evans CD, I felt a prophetic word for each of them well up inside my heart. I was so overwhelmed with the weight of it, that I cried as I shared this heavenly insight with them.
Selah has been given the gift of dance... I don't remember the details of what was said. Hers was short and sweet.
Charis has been given the gift of songwriting. She will hear into heaven...hear the angels singing new songs, receiving worship songs that thousands will sing.
Even now as I see those things in print, I think "man, how brazen". But isn't that what God is? He boldly speaks excellence into our potential, birthing his plan through the spoken word.
And the fact that he laid this heavily on my heart on our First Day of School, in the First Hour, means so much to me. Gives me hope when I feel overwhelmed with the decision to home school with a baby due next month.
Of course, the "warm fuzzy" feelings didn't last the entire time. The instruments became a focal point for an argument. "That's mine! I had it first!" blah blah blah
But thankfully, before I joined in the ranks of yelling, God imparted to me wisdom that I got to share with my girlies...
"Worship isn't what we do (the cool sounds of instruments) but rather our heart focus."
And as little girl tears flowed, we got to talk about the heart of True Worship.
TODAY:
We were all worshipping, each in our own way. Dancing. Playing instruments. Singing. Twirling and laughing. When another fight broke out. You know, like they do when you are praising the God of Glory. *grin*
My immediate reaction was "You've got to be kidding me. Not happening in my house! You are so going to learn how to worship if it kills me." ...or something to that reverent extent, I'm sure. ;)
But just like yesterday, the Holy Spirit allowed me to not react, but to use it as a teaching moment. We talked about how things were not as important as people. That it was the relationships in our lives that we'd get to keep forever. Not the stuff. Not the money.
I shared how there were actually people who gave up their relationships with family members over "stuff". And they froze. "There are?!" Yes, there are people who refuse to even talk to their family members because of a fight over money or material possessions. Based on their sobering reactions, I knew that statement had hit home. *thank you, Jesus*
For me the conversation was pivotal. An eye opener as a mom to see how God plans to sovereignly use this short season of home schooling. giving me ample opportunity to deeply invest Godly Wisdom into them at a young age.
I absolutely love that they are getting to learn the importance of people over money at this age. Because even my husband and I have seen where grown adults have chosen greed and lust of money over family relationships. It's never pretty. But it's a heart reality/temptation that we all must choose to put off at some point in our life. The question of "Will I treat my stuff better than I treat this person?"
Even as a parent. I find myself getting frustrated if my girls stain the couch or rug or a brand new piece of clothing. But I always have to remind myself (and them): "I love you more than I love this couch."
And though it sounds like a duh statement, it's really not. Not if I were to allow my anger over the stain to cause me to lash out and bruise them emotionally.
So we talked about that as well. How it is a hard thing, even as an adult, to treat people with love if they were to take our favorite toy and intentionally break it. I confessed that I didn't know that I'd be able to respond in kindness in that situation.
And in that moment, all three of us (Raegan was still twirling at that point, I think) sat down in a circle, held hands and prayed. Asking God to forgive us for the times that we haven't responded in love. to help us to choose people/relationships over stuff.
It was truly, truly a sweet time. One that I know they'll remember years from now. even when the specific Language Arts lesson that we're getting ready to study will be forgotten.
Because these are the lessons that go deep. The God led ones. The Spirit inspired moments. The times that truly mold the way that they think. and the person that they ultimately become.
August 3, 2008
The Morning After the Storm
Last night as Jet and my dad attacked the tree that lay across our cars and as I packed for an overnight at my parent's house (due to an electrical outage), my emotions began to war inside me.
Like an unseen spiritual tornado of my very own. uncovering. unsettling. uprooting. all the hidden places of my heart.
Yippee.
Maybe the emotional "instability" was because I was contracting prematurely? Maybe it was due to my not having slept the night before? Or because I had already been frustrated and stressed by the day's events prior to the tornado? Because, really, all of those things are fairly relevant reasons to feel undone at the end of the day.
But somehow I knew it was something more...
I had been telling Jet for days that I felt like this yard sale held significant meaning for us in the spiritual realm. Like a tangible, real-life parallel to the spirit realm that only God, in his creativity, can author. but that I was catching wind of deep within me.
That just as we were getting rid of the final load of unnecessary stuff that we u-hauled back and forth across the country, we'd also be unloading the remaining emotional baggage that we still carried due to that season.
Maybe that only makes sense to the one who is experiencing it? But regardless of how "flighty" it may sound, I cannot shake the realization that a door has been closed behind us. a season officially ended. a supernatural severing of the chains that bound.
That by God's grace and sovereign timing, we no longer harbor the junk that was stored deep within in the crevices of our heart. and now, due to our "unloading", we have access to the future He has promised us.
Right after I tried to verbalize my feeling to Jet about the coming yard sale and it's spiritual implication, he was listening to a teaching tape from Graham Cooke, who said:
Exactly. We made room in our home. And God made room in our hearts.
But what I didn't expect was that stinkin' tornado, you know? I didn't know that was part of the parallel He had in mind. For God was sending his own gale force wind into my heart. and I felt like emotional debris lay everywhere... so that by the time Jet and I went to bed in the upstairs guest bedroom at my parent's house, I was completely undone.
And for the first time in a LONG time, I allowed my emotions to surface. Fears, frustrations, anger, you name it... came rushing out as I lay there crying.
Relationships that bring up all sorts of negative emotions for both of us... My (in)ability as a mom... My frustration with where our marriage has or hasn't been in the past...
The gamut of emotions. The spectrum of topics. Things I didn't even realize were there. Things I had never taken the time to even acknowledge. The Lord unexpectedly shook it all loose. It was a lovely time of tears, snot, and raw emotions. Jet was amazing. And it actually was a sweet time. Oddly enough.
And the thing that struck me as we drove home the Morning After:
Exactly as I believe it happened in the spirit. A complete uprooting. Yet. it didn't hurt.
Though it may take some time for me to get used to the new look, especially the way the lack of tree allows exposure (of both my house and my heart), I trust. that as God's hand caused a shaking to occur within me, he will also bring me to a more steady place.
A place where my weakness has been shaken off and carried away, leaving only the strong branches behind.
Like an unseen spiritual tornado of my very own. uncovering. unsettling. uprooting. all the hidden places of my heart.
Yippee.
Maybe the emotional "instability" was because I was contracting prematurely? Maybe it was due to my not having slept the night before? Or because I had already been frustrated and stressed by the day's events prior to the tornado? Because, really, all of those things are fairly relevant reasons to feel undone at the end of the day.
But somehow I knew it was something more...
I had been telling Jet for days that I felt like this yard sale held significant meaning for us in the spiritual realm. Like a tangible, real-life parallel to the spirit realm that only God, in his creativity, can author. but that I was catching wind of deep within me.
Somehow I knew that upon the completion of our yard sale, there would also be a completion of all the *crap* that came out of the season of testing in Texas.
That just as we were getting rid of the final load of unnecessary stuff that we u-hauled back and forth across the country, we'd also be unloading the remaining emotional baggage that we still carried due to that season.
Maybe that only makes sense to the one who is experiencing it? But regardless of how "flighty" it may sound, I cannot shake the realization that a door has been closed behind us. a season officially ended. a supernatural severing of the chains that bound.
That by God's grace and sovereign timing, we no longer harbor the junk that was stored deep within in the crevices of our heart. and now, due to our "unloading", we have access to the future He has promised us.
Right after I tried to verbalize my feeling to Jet about the coming yard sale and it's spiritual implication, he was listening to a teaching tape from Graham Cooke, who said:
"Many people earnestly pray for the presence of God but are not making any room for His presence in their lives." and " God's presence will fill the area that you submit to Him."
Exactly. We made room in our home. And God made room in our hearts.
But what I didn't expect was that stinkin' tornado, you know? I didn't know that was part of the parallel He had in mind. For God was sending his own gale force wind into my heart. and I felt like emotional debris lay everywhere... so that by the time Jet and I went to bed in the upstairs guest bedroom at my parent's house, I was completely undone.
And for the first time in a LONG time, I allowed my emotions to surface. Fears, frustrations, anger, you name it... came rushing out as I lay there crying.
Relationships that bring up all sorts of negative emotions for both of us... My (in)ability as a mom... My frustration with where our marriage has or hasn't been in the past...
The gamut of emotions. The spectrum of topics. Things I didn't even realize were there. Things I had never taken the time to even acknowledge. The Lord unexpectedly shook it all loose. It was a lovely time of tears, snot, and raw emotions. Jet was amazing. And it actually was a sweet time. Oddly enough.
And the thing that struck me as we drove home the Morning After:
That the tree that fell in our yard came up by the root. a complete uprooting. Yet in the process, no one and nothing was hurt.
Exactly as I believe it happened in the spirit. A complete uprooting. Yet. it didn't hurt.
Though it may take some time for me to get used to the new look, especially the way the lack of tree allows exposure (of both my house and my heart), I trust. that as God's hand caused a shaking to occur within me, he will also bring me to a more steady place.
A place where my weakness has been shaken off and carried away, leaving only the strong branches behind.
Quote of the Day...
"You sure picked quite the day to have your yard sale, brother!"
You think? This little ditty of a statement was spoken to Jet, by the retired town mayor, as we walked around our neighborhood. surveying the damage following the tornado.
Yep, a tornado. At least that's how my neighborhood would categorize it. Though we're still waiting for the National Weather Service to give the official say-so.
THE ILL-TIMED YARDSALE:
Suffice it to say, it wasn't the best one I've ever had. Though the most memorable. *Forgive me a slight roll of the eyes, would you?*
It rained from 5 to 10 AM. At which point, the sun came out and preformed beautifully. Giving me enough time to make a whooping profit (after the newspaper ad) of $57, all while masterfully singing the lyrics for the 60's hit "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to..." over and over again.
But in the spirit of Pollyanna, Jet and I optimistically smiled as he dropped off our first round of large boxes at the local DropOff. At 9 AM. Can you tell we were anxious? But hey, it's junk that we will never have to deal with again. What's not to love about that?!
By 1 AM, we were loading up the remaining contents of 7 yard sale tables and the 10-foot long clothes hanging device. All the while, sorting out the stuff that we wanted to keep for next year's yard sale.
I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. But we figured we made diddly-squat at this sale and we just can't bring ourselves to throw away almost new name-brand clothes (donated by family members) just for the sake of reducing clutter in the attic. But anyway.
Jet had just left with a truckload of boxes to take to the drop off...1 mile down the road....while Mom and I were leisurely packing up the boxes. And then, the rain hit.
Slowly. Slowly. No big deal. It even looked like it was going around our little town. But regardless, we worked fast to avoid getting wet.
Then...from the distance you could tell something was brewing. Well, at least Mom said she could. I was blissfully clueless. ... so maybe blissfully wasn't the best descriptor of my attitude at the time. But clueless 'bout sums it up.
The last of the boxes were just set on the porch, when we turned our attention to the fold up tables. Suddenly Mom yelled, "Quick. Forget the tables! Get the stuff inside!"
And the wind came.
Mom, having the presence of mind to think beyond the task at hand, asked if I wanted to bring in our doberman. "Uh, Nooooo." The thought of having a half-wet dog running through the house did not appeal to me on top of everything else I was doing.
As it obviously takes a lot of energy to be dramatic and annoyed.
Meanwhile, Super Mom ran to the backyard to close the door of our shed (*thanks mom*). Something I felt was completely irrelevant at the time.
We had literally JUST thrown all of the yardsale boxes in the front door, when the BIG winds hit. With full force.
THE TORNADO:
After that, I began to realize that this was not a normal summer storm. For those readers that experienced it, yes...it did take me a while to shake my clueless stupor.
Though to my defense, it only took half of a large tree crashing down on our cars. and the horizontal hail beating on the windows. But hey, I'm quick that way.
Then all logical thinking left.
I wanted to go outside and get my dog. move the cars. anything where I'd feel like I had some semblance of control. Obviously, I wasn't thinking straight. But my Calm and Collected Mother wouldn't allow me and my pregnant body to go outside, so all I could do was pray in the spirit.
...and frantically run upstairs to get Raegan up from her nap, trying desperately not to think about the possibilities as we sat in a house filled with 5 ft. bay windows and no basement.
Trying to calm my children, I could only lead them in half-mumbled, half-controlled sobbed prayers for Daddy who was still out in it. Especially as Charis tearfully whispered, "Will Daddy die?"
Uh? This is when Hug Therapy works wonders. Because words fail you.
At that moment, being the emotionally sound mom, I did the only thing I could do. I left the girls with Grandma.
So I could pace. stare out the windows. and watch in horror as our porch swing repeatedly beat the top of the porch roof and the second half of the tree fell on our cars.
All the while, asking outloud "God, where is my husband?" begging God to return him safely.
And then I saw him. just pulling in. drenched and sitting in his truck on our front grass. My immediate thought, after complete relief at his being alive and in one piece, was "Don't just sit there...I can't handle watching you get hurt in front of my eyes!" Thankfully, he ran inside or I would have gone out to him.
It's amazing to me how he changes everything. Even though nothing in our immediate circumstances changed, I felt safer and more at peace just having him there. His presence just does that.
...Even after he confessed that he thought his truck would take flight out in the middle of the storm. with him in it. as he watched electrical wires spark and fall all around him.
THE PICTURES:
Mom telling Jet (who had just removed his dripping wet shirt) how the tree went down. trying to survey the damage to our cars. and generally just giving the recap from our point of view.
A few minutes after things had quieted down, Jet's cell phone rang. It was our friends Nell-Marie and Gil, calling to make sure we were okay. (They were on their way to the mountains and, if I understand it correctly, saw our house as they passed. That's N.M. in the picture). While Jet was still talking to Nell-Marie, another friend (Aaron S) beeped in.
I can't tell you how blessed we were by those calls. Life from outside the storm. It was literally like tangible Hope to us.
A section of our backyard:
As well as your car...
From the looks of it, this road (that runs right beside our neighbors house) got the brunt of the storm/tornado. And being that this felled tree took down a electric line, which was laying across the road, this last tree shot is as far as I got in my "friendly neighborhood tour".
The road was blocked off due to this "little guy". Here's the first 1/3...
You think? This little ditty of a statement was spoken to Jet, by the retired town mayor, as we walked around our neighborhood. surveying the damage following the tornado.
Yep, a tornado. At least that's how my neighborhood would categorize it. Though we're still waiting for the National Weather Service to give the official say-so.
THE ILL-TIMED YARDSALE:
Suffice it to say, it wasn't the best one I've ever had. Though the most memorable. *Forgive me a slight roll of the eyes, would you?*
It rained from 5 to 10 AM. At which point, the sun came out and preformed beautifully. Giving me enough time to make a whooping profit (after the newspaper ad) of $57, all while masterfully singing the lyrics for the 60's hit "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to..." over and over again.
But in the spirit of Pollyanna, Jet and I optimistically smiled as he dropped off our first round of large boxes at the local DropOff. At 9 AM. Can you tell we were anxious? But hey, it's junk that we will never have to deal with again. What's not to love about that?!
By 1 AM, we were loading up the remaining contents of 7 yard sale tables and the 10-foot long clothes hanging device. All the while, sorting out the stuff that we wanted to keep for next year's yard sale.
I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. But we figured we made diddly-squat at this sale and we just can't bring ourselves to throw away almost new name-brand clothes (donated by family members) just for the sake of reducing clutter in the attic. But anyway.
Jet had just left with a truckload of boxes to take to the drop off...1 mile down the road....while Mom and I were leisurely packing up the boxes. And then, the rain hit.
Slowly. Slowly. No big deal. It even looked like it was going around our little town. But regardless, we worked fast to avoid getting wet.
Then...from the distance you could tell something was brewing. Well, at least Mom said she could. I was blissfully clueless. ... so maybe blissfully wasn't the best descriptor of my attitude at the time. But clueless 'bout sums it up.
The last of the boxes were just set on the porch, when we turned our attention to the fold up tables. Suddenly Mom yelled, "Quick. Forget the tables! Get the stuff inside!"
And the wind came.
Mom, having the presence of mind to think beyond the task at hand, asked if I wanted to bring in our doberman. "Uh, Nooooo." The thought of having a half-wet dog running through the house did not appeal to me on top of everything else I was doing.
As it obviously takes a lot of energy to be dramatic and annoyed.
Meanwhile, Super Mom ran to the backyard to close the door of our shed (*thanks mom*). Something I felt was completely irrelevant at the time.
We had literally JUST thrown all of the yardsale boxes in the front door, when the BIG winds hit. With full force.
THE TORNADO:
After that, I began to realize that this was not a normal summer storm. For those readers that experienced it, yes...it did take me a while to shake my clueless stupor.
Though to my defense, it only took half of a large tree crashing down on our cars. and the horizontal hail beating on the windows. But hey, I'm quick that way.
Then all logical thinking left.
I wanted to go outside and get my dog. move the cars. anything where I'd feel like I had some semblance of control. Obviously, I wasn't thinking straight. But my Calm and Collected Mother wouldn't allow me and my pregnant body to go outside, so all I could do was pray in the spirit.
...and frantically run upstairs to get Raegan up from her nap, trying desperately not to think about the possibilities as we sat in a house filled with 5 ft. bay windows and no basement.
Trying to calm my children, I could only lead them in half-mumbled, half-controlled sobbed prayers for Daddy who was still out in it. Especially as Charis tearfully whispered, "Will Daddy die?"
Uh? This is when Hug Therapy works wonders. Because words fail you.
At that moment, being the emotionally sound mom, I did the only thing I could do. I left the girls with Grandma.
So I could pace. stare out the windows. and watch in horror as our porch swing repeatedly beat the top of the porch roof and the second half of the tree fell on our cars.
All the while, asking outloud "God, where is my husband?" begging God to return him safely.
And then I saw him. just pulling in. drenched and sitting in his truck on our front grass. My immediate thought, after complete relief at his being alive and in one piece, was "Don't just sit there...I can't handle watching you get hurt in front of my eyes!" Thankfully, he ran inside or I would have gone out to him.
It's amazing to me how he changes everything. Even though nothing in our immediate circumstances changed, I felt safer and more at peace just having him there. His presence just does that.
...Even after he confessed that he thought his truck would take flight out in the middle of the storm. with him in it. as he watched electrical wires spark and fall all around him.
THE PICTURES:
Mom telling Jet (who had just removed his dripping wet shirt) how the tree went down. trying to survey the damage to our cars. and generally just giving the recap from our point of view.
Note: the worst part of it was over by now or they would not have been near the windows.
The girl's hideout. A corner of our kitchen. The only place in the downstairs that is not directly surrounded by multiple windows.
A few minutes after things had quieted down, Jet's cell phone rang. It was our friends Nell-Marie and Gil, calling to make sure we were okay. (They were on their way to the mountains and, if I understand it correctly, saw our house as they passed. That's N.M. in the picture). While Jet was still talking to Nell-Marie, another friend (Aaron S) beeped in.
I can't tell you how blessed we were by those calls. Life from outside the storm. It was literally like tangible Hope to us.
If you look at the above picture carefully, you can see the tree's two different sections. The tree came down a half at a time. Amazingly it didn't come straight through our living room windows. Which are a few feet from where it fell. Where we were sitting when it first happened.
Mom's van took the brunt of the tree. But again, amazingly enough, it only knocked out her front light. Which was put back in and works/looks perfectly!!! HOW is that possible?!
Even as we got a closer look, we all agree it should have shattered her windows. Thankfully, we don't serve a God of "should'ves" by physic's standards.
Our car came away with minimal scratches. Nothing more.
And even Raegan's car was safe. Which is good since she opted not to insure it...
A section of our backyard:
Not too much damage, but enough to make a mess everywhere. Our neighbor, who was watching the storm from his back window, said that he knew to go to his basement when our tree limb's started coming off horizontally.
It wasn't long after the wind stopped that you could hear fire trucks and sirens all across the area. My guess by the unfamiliar look of this fire truck is that they had to recruit firemen from surrounding counties.
Some of the neighborhood...
Trees were down everywhere.
Chances were, if you had trees, your yard was effected.
As well as your car...
From the looks of it, this road (that runs right beside our neighbors house) got the brunt of the storm/tornado. And being that this felled tree took down a electric line, which was laying across the road, this last tree shot is as far as I got in my "friendly neighborhood tour".
The road was blocked off due to this "little guy". Here's the first 1/3...
And here's the remaining section of the 125 (ish) year old tree.
And just to give you true perspective, here's a man standing beside it.
It's HUGE (as is the house). Had it fallen the other direction... well, I don't even want to imagine.
But that's how it was ALL throughout the neighborhood. large trees were down. but no one was hurt. And the only place on the above house that was damaged? See the little 2nd story porch? The left corner of the roof was nicked. but only barely.
The funny thing. The man said that he had just signed a contract with a man to come and take care of that tree. Well...I guess that's a contract broken. huh? And our tree? We had just talked about how it was becoming too big for the house. We were planning on trimming it heavily. No need now, eh?
I'll miss it's shade and all, but leave-raking time will be easier. :) AND we even had a pleasant little neighborhood block party to boot. Where I actually got to talk with neighbors I hadn't met in the last 3+ years of living here. That's a bonus.
See how easily I pull off this Pollyanna thing?
and another amazing thing? Remember that tree that our neighbors took down last year? (click on the link to see a picture) Well...had it been there, it would have crushed our house. Literally. We are/were praising the Lord unabashedly for that miracle.
AND for the fact that Mom happened to show up to help at our yardsale. Had she not been there when the tornado hit... Again, I don't want to imagine. But I can assure you yardsale things would still be strewn all over the town. And I may very well be hospitalized for trauma during late pregnancy (I WAS contracting a lot following that event).
So there are miracles all throughout our little Tornado Experience. *thank you Jesus*
But one thing that may never recover? My respect for the validity of http://www.accuweather.com/ ... It suffered an irreversible blow. They had us forecasted for a 20% chance of light rain in the afternoon. I'm thinking they were a bit off.
But what do I know? :)
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