"We don't become a new creation by changing our behavior. It (Christianity) is not a self-help program. God is not interested in helping your... Self. He wants to be Himself. In you. It's about discovering the person you already are in Christ and behaving accordingly."
Graham Cooke
As I've been "nesting" and cleaning out the crevices of my house, I came across a couple of teaching CDs. And the above quote spoke to me in light of ...well many things.
But in this particular moment, my thoughts apply it to being a mother. of raising daughters. and of doing both in such way that my daughters will be equipped to be all that they, as individuals, have been called to be.
That's the weighty statement, isn't it? As a parent, I've been entrusted to encourage, discipline, and teach my girls to discover the person that GOD has created them to be. and to help them walk that out.
Wow. Excuse me a minute while I practice my deep-breathing exercises. Because that. is. huge. Just think: All-intensive discipleship training program 24 hours a day. for the next 20 years. and then being completely accountable to Him for those lives that you helped to shape.
Now, with this revelation...
(though not necessarily a new one...as I've said it here. and here before. It's just a well-timed revelation as I'm searching out my mother's heart these days)
...comes a choice. The choice on HOW I will interact with this truth.
Choice #1:
Be overwhelmed because when dissecting the ins and outs of that statement, I see that I'm not qualified to raise five girls (um yeah...the emotional, deep-thinking, sensitive kind of offspring) in such a way that they:
- all come out of adolescents not in need of counseling due to my parental failings.
- all enter adulthood with the ability to NOT compare themselves to other women, yet stand strong on their own two feet, honestly knowing that they are precious, beautiful, and complete because they are themselves. and no one else.
- they are able to face life's junk in such a way that it doesn't shake them to the core because they've been firmly established on A Rock (Him).
Yeah. This is me, tentatively raising my hand and confessing "Um, Not Qualified."
OR there's Choice #2:
Acknowledge that yes, I'm "only human" but He is more. He is capable. He has called me. and He will equip me.
Honestly, I can be realllllly self-focused sometimes. I say a serve a God who is bigger, but I can easily get caught up in just acknowledging His Bigness all while focusing on my smallness.
Which brings me to the next quote from the CD I'm listening to as I type (I'm only 10 minutes in)
"When God introduces you to a new Truth, He's also saying...From the moment you accept this Truth that is how I will see you. Where we often fall down is that we think it's on us to work that truth out and make it real in our experience. But Truth is a GIFT because Jesus is the Truth, right?
He's the gift.
So when God teaches you a new truth, he's actually GIVING you Himself in that new truth...." G. Cooke
He goes on to say more amazing things, but I can only type so fast. The jist is basically He's enabling you to do what you can't do. giving you Himself. because He can do.
That's all I'll write for now. And though this blog doesn't feel complete, I'm posting it anyway because it's where I am. It's part of my current journey in walking out becoming a better Mom.
something I obviously cannot work out without His intervention. on a constant and daily basis. as he overshadows my failings and covers them with his grace.
I have loads of "half-finished" blog posts in my box. Unpublished because they feel incomplete...and how can I present them to the Internet if not complete and figured out and well-packaged? *rolling my eyes*
But here I am, documenting the little bits that I feel God is showing me. So later in life, my girls can read it and know better His heart for their once-young mom.
So they can know my struggles and see His provision. So they can understand that to struggle isn't a life destined to be stuck in Less-than, but the chance to break free and embrace More-Than.
I am not perfect. I do not have it all figured out. I know me...I see the day-to-day of my life... and I see that I fail more times than I feel I succeed. I've been told I'm the girl who has it "all figured out and all put together...everything perfect."
I hear it in person. I read it in emails readers send me. And I can only stand there, shocked. completely in awe that they can be so misled in their perseption of me.
I am nothing. I have nothing. I can do nothing without His grace. And I'm so needing it as I prepare to bring another daughter into this world. Because like I said in my last post. Parenting and all that word means...well, it can shake me to the core.
Let's just be thankful that, as Christians, our core is Him. And HE is not easily shaken.
