Family Day...Part Three

Part Three: Mountain Picnic....

We drove to the nearest mountain, found a picnic part, set up our food, and prepared to just end the day eating and looking for deer. *bam* My beloved 3 year old yells, "I have to go pee!"

Now I have to say, we had taken her to the bathroom right before we left our house. And then again, 10 minutes later at Subway, after we got our subs. She hadn't had time to drink anything. YET, here we were only 15 minutes since the last Potty Break, in the middle of a potty-free zone AND surrounded by three other families who stole our mountain picnic idea. and she's yelling about needing to go. Hm. What. to. do.

So with no bathroom in sight, Jet said, "Nope. You have to hold it."

"But my pee pee is coming out!" She screams this. Loudly. Repeatedly. I look at Jet, he sighs and relents. Because what are you going to do? If the girl has to go, she has to go. So...he does what any good daddy would do. He takes her to the nearest tree.

Now if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you've come to realize that peeing in the grass is oddly one of Selah's favorite things to do. No, I have no idea why. But it is. So when Jet drags her to the nearest tree, she was more than happy to comply. In fact, I think I saw a glint in her eye.

...And then again 10 minutes later. ....and then again 10 minutes later after that. Her bladder obviously comes equipped with an automatic timer set for every 10 minutes. The obvious necessity baffles me. And yellows the grass. Can't you see that glint? The one that says This is a red-letter day because I got to pee in the grass THREE times?! See it?

But finally, we're done eating and move on. Leaving "our" tree behind. And as Jet surveys the amazing views, he brings up camping, since we've been talking about going again. "We should camp here."

"Nope. I have a thing against bear." I say.

"Well, they won't hurt you. They're black bear. Not grizzly."

"I don't really care. I'm not prejudice. I don't like any of 'em."

"We'll just put our food in the tree."

"I so don't get that. What does it matter if it's in the tree? They still SMELL it."

"Because then they can't eat it."

"Um yeah, but they still COME, don't they? I think at that point, I'd much rather have them eat the food, then ... us."

He laughs. Apparently I'm funny. Crazy, since I really wan't trying to be. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, biting my tongue. He goes on to say..."They're harmless. Less so than wolves. Bears eat berries and nuts and..."

"Wolves? So there are wolves up here?! Are you really thinking this whole divert-Christin-from-bear-by-focusing-on-other-carnivorous animal tactic is really going to convince me to camp here? Cause you're failing. Miserably. I don't do wolves either."

"Nooooo, honey! there are no..."

"But there ARE Bobcats." I know that we both know this. He just nods and smiles. "Okay Jet, so I have successfully graduated from my fear of berry-eating bears onto fear of flesh-eating bobcats. Satisfied? But I'm still not camping here."

Seconds later, a BLACK BEAR runs in front of us. Jet is thrilled; he says it makes his day. I, on the other hand, am so overwhelmed that our hypothetical wildlife has just materialized before my eyes. And though I don't remember it, he says I screamed "It's a bear! It's a BEAR!" over and over again. Apparently, I become a woman of few words when I am trying hard not to pee in the grass. ;)

It was a fun day...yard sales, pretend attack alligators, real life bear, and all!