Story Hour

The girls love days where we are racing from activity to activity. Friend's houses...lunches in town...Pump it Up (an inflatable jumping house for kids)...Grandma's house. I always think "at least it will wear them out." Usually, it does. Though there are days where it only seems to key them up. Wears ME out. So at least one of us is predictable, eh? But I figure, they love it. It's worth it. I'll just get some sleep later on. Like when they're in college.


Well, this morning was action packed!! And the weather has been BEAUTIFUL!! I could live with weather like this year-round. Well...actually, let me take that back. I would like 2 weeks where we're dumped with snow. And then, I'd love to magically and instantaneously return to this cloudy 80-degree weather. But I digress.

First destination: Local Park. Which happened to be deserted!!! Hallelujah! Because there have been days when there are children everywhere...and my girls get run over by 12 year old boys who have better things to do than stop while my 3 year old climbs the ladder.

We're there for 5 minutes tops before my favorite neighbor comes riding up!! Yay! So now my girls have instant playmates of the same age, and I have a friend! Ahh, life is good.

So we do the park thing. We do the go-home-and-eat-lunch thing. And then, we race to the library for Story time, something we don't normally do because of the 1pm time slot that conflicts with naptime, but oh well! We're throwing caution...and quite possibly intelligent parenting skills...to the wind today. Live a little, eh?


During storytime, I'm watching my girls interact with the other children. Aww...such sweet little friendships they're making. "Okay everybody get in a circle for this game." And the storylady pulls out a multi-colored parachute, instructing each child to grab a section. All the kids go wild. Pulling it up and down. Wildly. All except for my oldest girl, who starts to "instruct" the others.

"Now everybody, you're not supposed to go fast. You're supposed to go slow." (something the storylady had said before she got busy getting the tape ready). I cringe as Charis continues to boss the other kids around. Though I have to say, she's really confident about it. (should this make me happy or...?)

This picture, though you can't really tell, is Selah going wild with her portion of the parachute. And Charis assessing the situation. I wasn't trying to get a picture of Charis being "the boss". But seriously, no matter when I took the picture, it seems that she was being the shadow of the teacher. What the teacher said, she'd say, rather assertively, though not mean-spirited at all! She was just wanting to enforce the teacher's instructions.

It's at this point, armed with an infant and surrounded by other moms, that I start to wonder. What is my role in all of this? Do I correct Charis in front of all these kids, telling her to not be bossy? Do I say nothing? Do I pretend I don't notice?

We're still pretty new to the area. Especially when it comes to parktime and storytime friendships since we usually go to another town for playdates. So I don't know many of these mothers very well yet. "Um, yes...that would be my daughter bossing your child around. What's your name? Wanna come to my house and play?" Yeah, doesn't really bode well with the whole introduction into their play circle.

Charis is the one to the far left, in blue...finger pointed. all the other children looking at her. *big sigh*

So as I'm inwardly cringing and wondering about what to do, the woman in front of me turns around and looks at me. You know, with "that look." The look that says "Aren't you going to do something?"

I decided at that moment to NOT say anything. And not because I wanted to make a statement in reference to the questioning-look from the woman in front of me. It's just that I refuse to discipline my child for the sake of an adult's approval. I didn't want her thinking that I was cowering under her glare concerning my extraverted child. (though I do have to say, I did gently explain things to Charis when she needed to use the restroom a few minutes later)Thankfully the other moms (some pictured above) didn't seem to mind at all. Their kids were having their own "child" moments as well. As children tend to do. But anyway, the girls loved it! They love the interaction...the budding friendships...the listening to a real, live teacher read books. A fun time was had by all. well, except for that grouchy lady giving me the look.

Ironically, I had just told Jet last night before we went to bed that I didn't want to "micro-manage" the girls. I didn't want to be a parent who was on top of their kid every second, overseeing and judging their every move, essentiallly waiting for them to make a mistake. I want them to learn to be independent of me. To be able to branch out and make friendships without my involvement. To be able to interact with others without me hovering near by "assessing the situation".

I know that all of my girls will most likely interact at one point or another where I'm tempted to "quiet" them or have them not be so aggressive or inquisitive. I know that there are times that I will need to gently instruct them on how to interact appropriately. But at the same time, I want to recognize that all of my children will be different from me. they will interact differently from me. because they are not me. They are Charis. Selah. Raegan. Inheritantly designed to be unique.

I want to guide them into the best way of doing things. At least in general terms. I just don't want to nit-pick them to death, so that they're unsure of their own abilities to interact with the world outside of my approval, you know? Sounds so easy...so obvious. Yes, back off. Let the kid breathe. But seriously, as a parent, I WANT my child to succeed. I want her to have friends and be liked. So it can be a bit difficult TO bite my tongue at times.

Charis may have been a little inappropriate with the kids today. But I'm glad that I didn't step in and correct her publically. I'm glad that I held my tongue and allowed her to try out and develop her leadership skills. Yeah, maybe a couple of kids weren't sure what to think about it. Maybe one woman thought twice about my parenting abilities. But I am glad that I didn't crush the bold spirit that is in my little girl.

Now to refine it... that's another story. :)