Ah yes, Diaper Duty

The following is rated P for Parental... due to scenes referring or relating to nudity, diapers, poop, and nausea. If you are NOT a parent, it is advisable to skip this post. As you may never want to go near a child in diapers, ever again. In fear of the ever-pending explosion that may take place.

I know that you, my beloved husband, will enjoy this. Not because it is funny. No. Not because it is pretty. No. But because you, my dear, were not here to experience it. Yes. I, in all my twisted sense of "sharing", decided to stop and make sure that *this lovely moment* would forever be recorded. So that you, from the comforts of your office, could revel in the abilities of your daughter. Yes, I am that kind. And if for no other reason, to give you one more reason to thank Jesus. For the fact that your daughter didn't wait the additional two hours for you to get home. Ahh, yes. Thank you Jesus for your small blessings bestowed upon Jet.

With that said...

I've pointed it out before that Raegan is a infrequent pooper. Usually once a week. So when she does go, her entire system gets cleaned out in one fell swoop. It's a lovely display how fast a small baby can bring a parent to their knees.

Today, when I put this cute little outfit on her, the thought that this was it's last day as a stain-free garment crossed my mind. But I pushed it out of my thoughts. Because my daughter, the once-a-weeker, went a couple of days ago. Ya-hoo. I was home free.

Ahhh...isn't she cute? All dressed in white? nice.

Yes. That's it ladies. Enjoy this moment. For pretty soon this smiling sweet-smelling infant will morph into something ...not so endearing. or sweet-smelling.
I had just finished nursing her, when my little four-month-old sort of stopped. I thought she was just studying something in the room because of the look of calm intensity on her face. She gave me no warning. No sounds that something was about to occur. Nothing, I say!

And all at once, like the geyers out west, came this rumble...this sound...from the hindparts of my sweet princess.

Thar She Blows!

I raced to the next room where a basket of diaper accessories lies, looking at her to make sure that it was all contained safely within the confines of the diaper. Yes, yes. Everything looks good. Carry on, Carry on. I lay her down on the floor to change her.

But the more I cleaned, the more I realized that her "path of destruction" covered far more than I was aware. I turned her around. Now to greet me, was a large stain that went far above her waistline. Like the flood waters of old...this stuff just kept on going.

Her back. Her arm. Her ear. Her cheek.

Ohhhh! For the love of God and all things holy!! Please Lord!!!?

With my other two girls napping, I didn't have their fetching skills working for me. And with Raegan now feeling 3 pounds lighter and therefore, happy as a lark, she was skirming and wiggling all over the place. It was a race against the fast moving orange stain... I'd clean up. It'd take over again. I'd clean up. It'd take over again. Honestly, I was tempted to take her outback and just hose her down. But you know, the neighbors and all.

Finally...three diapers and two dozen wipes later...I had it all under control. Seriously, the highlight of my day. *groan* And just for the sake of posterity, here's the CLEANED out version, honey. One that you can view safely from the confines of your desk chair.
Yes yes. My daughter has talents that far exceed that of a normal infant. I can't wait to see how specialized it is in a year. Once she's eating food.
Oh , but how can you not love a face like this?! You just want to kiss those puckered up lips. Just take care that you don't squeeze this *talented* baby.