"You don't know me but..."

The most precious phone call I've ever received came today. via a woman I've never met.


So I confess. I totally screen my calls. Once we got caller ID, I was hooked. "Oh...it's the person running for re-election calling to ask me for my vote? Hm. Sor-ry. Not home."

Or "Huh. It's my husband calling to apologize for that stupid thing he did this morning? Hm. Sor-ry. I want to ignore you for just a little while longer." Wha? Me?? do something like that? Nah. I'm farrrrrrr too mature. *ahem*

Yeah, I'm totally digging this new found Phone ESP.

So this morning when I saw a name come up on the caller ID that I didn't know, I hesitated. Do I really want to deal with yet another wrong number?

(Some phantom Rodriquez family gives out OUR number to THEIR creditors. Over the last 5 years, I'd guess we've had at least 200 calls from creditors across the nation. Oh, as well a *bonus* call from an impatient attorney. ALL looking for that elusive Rodriquez family. Sometimes, when they've REALLY exhausted their options in tracking down the R. Fam, they start to harass me: not believing me when I say I am not them, don't know them, and don't live with them. Grrr. But I digress...)

Despite my bad experiences with numbers I don't recognize, I answered the phone. I'm wild like that.

"Hello?" I answer in my firm voice, primed and ready to reprimand the poor, uninformed creditor on the other end of the line.

CALLER: "Is this Christin?"

Okay, so that doesn't sound like a wrong number. "Um, yes?"

CALLER: "Well, you don't know me, but..."

I spent the next ten minutes talking to an elderly woman who called me for no other reason than she saw my last name in the phone book. A last name that shares her heritage.

CALLER: "I really love learning about geneology. Can you tell me anything that you know about your last name? It's mine too."

Have you ever heard of anything so sweet? Can't you just see it? A sweet older lady thumbing through the phone directory on a Saturday morning...coming to my last name...timidly picking which one to call (they're aren't many in this area)...and then striking up a conversation with a total stranger just because she knows we have one thing in common.

Oh. my. word. I wanted to hug her.

I told her what I knew, laughed with her, and answered questions about myself. And out of the blue she then said, "I'd just love to meet you guys. I turn 80 soon, and there are a couple of other (my last name) in the area and I'd love to have you guys all come and help me celebrate."

Okay, so my heart melted on the spot. Does this woman not have family? Is she looking for people to help her celebrate the last years of her life? in the phonebook??!! Oh my goodness, I wanted to hug her. Have I mentioned that yet? because I really did. :)

I assured her that we'd be HONORED to help her celebrate. And man, you should have heard her. Her voice got all high as she laughed in delight. :)

And yes, she does have family, I asked. She told me more about herself, sounding completely giddy that the conversation was going so well. She repeatedly said that we'd definitely have to meet...especially being that I have five daughters.

Because really, what person over the age of 50 can resist a posse of little sisters? :)

I do believe I may have just been adopted by a grandmother type. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Miraculous (though somewhat embarrassing) healing. With before and after pictures.

Some miracles display the awesome power of God. Like this story a YWAM friend sent me some years back where they prayed and someone was raised from the dead.

Some miracles display His intense desire to, first and foremost, woo your heart . Like this story where a friend was paralyzed for a year, people from her church faithfully prayed for her every week in her living room, and then one day...she took a step.

Some miracles happen right before your eyes as you step out in blind faith. Like the time the Lord literally told me to "blow on it"...and as I blew air on someone's badly infected boil, it disappeared right. before. my. eyes.

(I have no link to that story because I'm not even sure I've ever mentioned it. Crazily enough. :) Trust me, if I tried to document it all, I 'd be stuck to my computer day in and day out. His work in our home is that intense...and frequent. Love it.)

Every work of the Lord reveals yet another facet of his love for His Bride. It's just too deep to put to words, so he uses the framework of our lives as a display.

That said, not all miracles of the Lord are the same. One will reveal a specific expression of his heart, while another will unfold something entirely different. In the end, our stories combined reveal a God who's love is rather hard to resist.

So for me... The miracle that hit my life this past week reveals a side of Him that I think can sometimes get overlooked and underplayed in every day living: The tangible COMPASSION of God.

I mean, sure He has compassion on the blind guy. or the leper. or the guy who's been given 2 months to live because he has an incurable cancer. Those things are life impairing! But for Him to show compassion concerning something that is nothing outside of a bother, an embarrassment, and a frustration to me? *shrug*

Well, that defies reason.

The Story

In a nutshell, years ago my hormones levels went crazy, causing unwanted facial hair, especially along the jawline. I was *horrified*. I cannot stress that enough. But the clincher was when the OB said that once hair folicles are established, the hair remains. (even after hormone levels are stabilized.)

I think it'd be fairly accurate to say that with that statement my heart dropped.

Now I gotta say, this is embarrassing stuff for me just "put out there". Because honestly, I HATE that I've dealt with that. It's demoralizing as a woman. But bottom line, every one has something about themselves (physically) that they don't like. Right?

But it just becomes something that we learn to deal with, to hide. We learn to shadow it with makeup or mask it with clothes. We smile so as not to show our crooked teeth or position ourselves so that our "less than" feature is out of view.

Essentially, we become pros at concealing that which makes us feel less than. But I'm seeing that God wants to use those things to show himself More Than.

Over the years, I've casually asked Him to intervene....to, essentially do what doctors said wasn't possible: to cause the hair to just go away.


Yeah. I h.a.t.ed. that picture. Besides the fact that my face was still swollen from having a baby the day before, it was a total shot of the very thing I hate. That hair on my jawline.

You know, the hair that the OB said would never go away. Well, Mr. OB...I gotta say that the Lord IS the final say.


Last week, I noticed that it was alllll gone. Um, yeah. Just like that.



He's that concerned about the things that concern ME.


My heart is to never hide the works of God in my life. I've told Him that "I want to be transparent so that you can be seen through me." Even when that telling might cost me. Um yeah, that'a'be pride I'm talkin' 'bout!

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. Psalms 138.8

Wow. Take the truth in that scripture out for a spin! It's mind-boggling to think that He will PERFECT that which concerns ME. But this week, I'm come face to face with the truth of it.

But don't let it stop here. This is my story, but He has a story for you as well....

Less Stuff. More Peace.

There's something about simplicity that appeals to me.

Simple meals. Laid back time with friends. Sitting on the porch hand-in-hand with my husband, talking as the sun goes down. Meeting someone for coffee (even though I don't drink the stuff) to share the ins and outs of our hearts.

I much prefer the slower things in life; the things that don't require batteries or remote controls or rented party halls.

Don't get me wrong, I love parties, and am actually energized by them. Yet...there's just something so completely "ahhh" about Simple, you know?


These days my love of All Things Simple is translating into our home and the amount of stuff that fills it. (This is where children everywhere run to hide their favorite toy in fear of it mysteriously exiting the house) <--- yeah, so not kidding. ;) The less stuff we have in our house, the more peace there is in our hearts. Or is it just me? We're yet to get our house on the market, held back by details that are fast coming together by my handy-dandy, brilliant husband. But the smaller details...the ones that require a high tolerance for the filthy attic...are ever being readied by yours truly. This is me curtsying, broom in hand.

• the organizing of the toys with a million pieces,
• the cleaning out of the closets and bookcases and storage bins,
• the purging of the unwanted and unneeded,
• and the packing of whatever remains...

Yup, that has been a major part of my day month. Uh-huh, I'm that hip. BUT (and this may only reveal more of my Dorkism) I'm getting some kind of giddy thinking about what "LESS STUFF" will actually mean!!!

Buy lots of land and live in a trailer, you say? Alright! WHERE do I sign up? Seriously, I'm totally game being that I'm so over having a large house filled to the brim with stuff. Stuff that requires me to revolve my life around taking care of it. Ew.

Right now the plan is to rent a honkin' storage unit once we our house on the market. We're doing this for a few reasons (since I know you're going to ask, Dad. haha):

• Some people aren't gifted with the ability to see past people's stuff and we, therefore, want to help them out by removing some of our "unnecessaries".
  
  
• Some little people..*ahem*... aren't capable of keeping our house free from clutter.
  
  
• Some people are better off when they know that all the packing won't have to be accomplished in one panicked swoop, while simultaneously trying to herd cats keep five children under control. Clearly, I'm referring to Jet here. *cough cough*
  

And I have to admit, I'm loving packing up and sending out. Bu-bye.

Over the last year, I've been working like a woman in need of psychological intervention on a mission to rid my house of excess. This is where I insert a BraveHeart Mel Gibson-esk cry of FREEDOM.

It's truly amazing how much stuff you can amass over a few years. But even more amazing is how much that stuff can weigh you down on every level. I'm telling you, Excessive Stuff = Bondage, people! Even if I can get something at a yardsale for $.25, I ask myself if its addition to our home with cost me (in sanity) more than the presumed bargain.

Anyhoo...that's where I am: very over living a life choked by stuff and on a mission to ready our house to sell by organizing every little bitty thing in my home. I hope to find my way out from under this pile soon. But I'm so excited as I know a life of pure SIMPLICITY is within my grasp. *bliss*

Dismembering and other such teachable moments.

Let's set the stage, shall we?

My three youngest are napping. My two oldest and I are snuggled up on the couch reading Proverbs in the Bible.

Now before you go and wax all crazy, thinking that I am the magnanimous mom of obviously superior, never disobedient children. a woman confidently standing at the helm of a 100% peaceful and sparkling house...

(Hark! Is that a halo I see emerging over my daughters' heads? Oh. Nope...it's just the sunlight hitting the flying dustballs in my pigpen living room )

... allow me to lay all my crap bare clarify.

We've not sat down to read the Bible like this for a while now. My days, of as recently, have consisted of conversations like this:

• "If your stuff is not put away in 5 minutes, I'm throwing. it. away. Period"
  
• "Stop putting your fingers in your sister's mouth!"
• "If you complain about doing school work on more time, so help me..."
• "Jet, you have to come home NOW because I'm borderline abusive." (spoken a little tongue-in-cheek. but yeah, only a little) *wry grin*
  

So yeah, don't bother crowning me Mother Superior with the faulty thinking that sometimes comes from reading other people's "perfect-home-moment-snippets"... as I'm most assured the tiara would self-destruct.

Anyhoo... there we were, reading the Proverbs when we came to the concept of wisdom. Trying to explain this deep concept to my girls, I used the example of Solomon...more specifically when he was dealing with the two woman who were fighting over the newborn baby. (1 Kings 3:16-27)

Now I half expected dramatic symphony music to crescendo as I got to the part about how Solomon declared, "Cut the baby in half!"

Totally prepped and ready to have the girls go all emotional with the injustice (and disgusting nature) of it, I was taken wayyyy off guard when my five year old looked up at me and calmly stated:
"I bet they'd both want the head."

Huh. didn't see that one coming. It's never quite like you plan, is it?

Cue curtains abruptly closing. Nix the dim stage mood-lighting. Show's over, people. Because *poof* emotional moment of spiritual teaching gone in an instance as I couldn't contain the laughter.

Where do they come up with this stuff? And should I be worried?

I'll take 1 ounce of truth and 10 pounds of comfort, thank you.

Status quo living, you say?

A life where I primly fold my hands on my lap, affirmatively shake my head as I try to thoughtfully process the information you deem as Truth? A mere existence where I line up with the other sheep, give you my wool, and bleat and baa on command?

Does that about sum it up? Just checking because I want to be clear here. After all, it is my life we're talking about.

Is there anything duller than that?

A life where everyone likes you because you are careful not to offend with any "edgy" opinion, overly aggressive arguments, or outlandish claims that God is actually alive and interacting with you.


Is there anything less world-changing than that?

An isolated kind of life where you don't challenge others and don't want others to challenge you. After all, we like our comfort. And confrontation...well, it just isn't comfortable.

Is there anything more dangerous than that?

Just from casual observation it would appear that we've become a society determined to believe whatever the 6 o'clock news or mainstream commercials deem true. with little or no questioning or research on our part.

We live as though the world is being run by the inability to be anything less than honest and good and upright. But the sad truth *HELLO* is that there are powerful people who want nothing more than to use and manipulate and deceive us...all for their own gain.

One small case in point. I present to you GM's commercial:





Uh-huh. Kind of ironic how they *ahem* failed to mention that GM paid off the bailout money with yet another bailout loan. More of our tax dollars at work. Apparently us law-abiding, tax-paying citizens have proven ourselves gullible enough that corporations don't bat an eyelash when feeding us...*cough cough*...crap.

After all, if it's in writing, surely it's true.

"But, Charlotte," said Wilbur, "I'm not terrific."

That doesn't make a particle of difference," replied Charlotte. "Not a particle. People believe almost anything they see in print."

-taken from E.B. White's Charlotte's Web

As of recently, I've felt this need to WAKE UP and start paying attention. Due in large part to my husband, who is one of the few people I know who can take a wide array of information (from all sides) and find the truth in it.

God has opened his eyes over the past few months (to government, to the Republican party, to the Democratic party, to news media, etc) in ways that I think surprise even him. But that's not my story to tell, so I'll leave it at that... ;)

I normally steer clear of writing about politics or government...partly because I'm not as learned as I'd like. but I just can't keep silent anymore. Because the things that are happening are mind-boggling.

And if we don't start to take notice and start to speak up, I fear one day we'll wake up to a world that is no longer accepting of the freedoms we take for granted.

Did you know, for instance, that right now there are people fighting to lead us in a direction that will give certain "rights" to our children? which, though not overtly stated, means that the authority of the parent would be usurped by the authority of the government.

All in the hopes of providing children with "basic human rights. ... And the convention protects children's rights by setting some standards here so that the most vulnerable people of society will be protected" (quote link here)

So you want to take a peak at what that actually breaks down into? (Taken from www.parentalrights.org:)

Some things you need to know about the structure of the CRC:

• The CRC would automatically override almost all American laws on children and families because of the U.S. Constitution’s Supremacy Clause in Article VI.


• Congress would have the power to directly legislate on all subjects necessary to comply with the treaty. This would constitute the most massive shift of power from the states to the federal government in American history.
  
  
• Under international law, the treaty overrides even our Constitution.
  

• Children would have the ability to choose their own religion while parents would only have the authority to give their children advice about religion.
  
  
• The best interest of the child principle would give the government the ability to override every decision made by every parent if a government worker disagreed with the parent’s decision.
  
  
• A child’s “right to be heard” would allow him (or her) to seek governmental review of every parental decision with which the child disagreed.
  
  
• Children would acquire a legally enforceable right to leisure.
  
  
• Christian schools that refuse to teach "alternative worldviews" and teach that Christianity is the only true religion "fly in the face of article 29" of the treaty.
  
  
• Allowing parents to opt their children out of sex education has been held to be out of compliance with the CRC.
  
  
• Children would have the right to reproductive health information and services, including abortions, without parental knowledge or consent.
  
  

Etc Etc Etc.

As of right now, the U.S. and Somalia are the only countries who haven't adopted this treaty. But there are legislators who are fighting for the U.S. to become a part of it, saying it's shameful that we are holding out. (again, link here)

"I'm sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as wise as snakes but as innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16

It's like we've so adopted the "innocent" part that we no longer have the nerve to embrace the WISDOM.

And I have to ask myself WHY is it that we, as Christians, seem so content to remain quiet? to go down without a fight?

Have we so lost our ability to step outside of the status quo to speak Truth? Become a people more tuned into comfort and convenience that we've become incapable of recognizing the direction we're heading? Gotten so used to being spoon-fed important, life-changing information by people we believe to have our best interests at heart that it makes no sense to take back the 'spoon'?

Really?

Honestly, I don't know where to even take my thoughts from here. But all I can say is God give me wisdom because I so don't want to live status quo. where I hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Because *duh* there IS evil and it needs to be called out for what it is.

Open my eyes, Lord. So that I may possess YOUR dynamic of innocence and wisdom in a world that's determined to redefine what possessing those traits actually mean.

Repeat after me "You have an amazingly adorable family."

See that hat? Clearly, it has magical powers.

You see, normally when we venture out to town, my family gets a lot of looks.

Now, before you go and assume that I'm all paranoid, interpreting every little glance and casual stare as critical judgement on me and the size of my family...allow me to clarify. I'm not.

There now, didn't that two-word confession adequately clear up any paranoia question on your part? :)

Because when I say we get a lot of looks, I mean we get a LOT of looks... accompanied by whispers...accompanied by frowns.

Which, I gotta tell you, always baffles me to no end because it's not like I'm not SMILING right at them!? And it's not like my children are running around like monkeys on crack. They're actually really well-behaved and respectful.

Still. Strangers everywhere look at us like we're unwed teenagers. with a propensity towards mass breeding. :D (though I'm loving that people think we look so young!)

YET

Last weekend, after a dress rehearsal for my two oldest daughters, we all went to town.


Charis and Selah both looked like they'd stepped off the pages of a magazine. (this is the best picture I could get in that freaky stage lighting.)

And let me tell you, miracles happened.

In a span of a couple of hours, we had T.O.N.S of people come up to us and say how they "loved" our children. We had people telling us how they loved watching my husband and me interact, how inspirational it was.

I was stopped in the bathroom and told "What a blessing to watch your family. Your children are so well behaved! I love watching how you and your husband interact with your children...." I can't even remember all that was said.

People passing our princess-packed shopping cart asked us if they could take some of the girls home with them.

I was stopped and told "I really respect you..." They went on to talk about how adorable our family was and how amazing we were as parents. I had to squelch the overwhelming desire to look behind me to see who they were talking to.

I overheard multiple groups of people talk about "What a sweet bunch of cuties" and "Look at that adorable family!" And holy cow!! Hold the phone! What's that look on your face? Are you actually SMILING at us? :)

Seriously, on and on it went. I felt like we were celebs in a small town flea market. I kid you not, it was that monumental of a reaction.

My conclusion? Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, it's ALLLL about accessories because nothing had changed other than the fact that Charis was donning a little beanie. That glorious, little Magical Hat found in a bin at the local GoodWill.

I'm fairly positive if we stuck it atop a snowman, Frosty would suddenly be standing before me yelling "Happy Birthday!"





Thankfully, I'm not easily swayed by the public's opinion of my family. I know people are stupid fickle. I mean look at how they treated Jesus. One day palm branches waving, the next angry fists, right?

But let me tell you, next time we travel to town on a donkey, I"ll so be packing The Magic Hat. One curled lip in our direction and out *pops* the hat with the hypnotic abilities.

...Can't you just see me, frantically fishing through my stuffed diaper bag in attempts to locate the small, white crocheted mass in order to dangle it in front of people's snarling faces as I chant:

"You will think my family is amazing. You will gush over how entirely adorable my troop of girls are. Repeat after me."

The image cracks ME up, if nothing else.

And a little FYI. Jet has since been informed that after the girls tire of The Hat, he will be taking his turn of wearing it.

So if you happen to see a grown man walking around town with a too-small beanie on his head, be nice to him. It's obviously been a rough day.

Sex talk with a 5 year old??

Apparently I live in my own little world.

• A comfy-cozy place where children are clueless to the world of lust and sin around them.
• A place where I have all the time in the world to have "the talk".
• A world believing that surely because they're so young, surely because they're homeschooled, I don't have to worry about teaching on se.x, yet.

Well, today I'm pretty sure that my imaginary little world was shattered...

by my 5 year old.

And all I can say is Thank God! as I'd hate to be Clueless-Mother when it comes to the purity and innocence of my daughters...totally taken by surprise after someone else has crept in and (mis-)informed my sweet, sweet daughters of se.x.

In the world's skewed, twisted version, no less.

After all, it's the INITIAL message that is the most powerful. The introduction of a topic that builds the foundation of understanding and leaves a lasting impression, even when contradictory messages are presented.

So I want to be the one to introduce my daughters to the world of se.x...and all that comes with it. So that MY telling can be the lasting foundation of their understanding.

Recently I read "The Story of Me" to Charis (7).



It's book 1 in the "God's Design for Sex" series. And while it says it's for ages 3 to 5, I found it to be a great way to broach the topic (in a "formal" way) to Charis (7).

It introduces words like vag.ina and pen.is. It talks about how those are private areas, except "Someday when you marry, you won't have to be private with your wife."

The book is written in a conversational question/answer type format between a little boy and his parents.

"Was I in Mommy's tummy right away when you got married?"

"No, God waited a couple of years. Then He took a little tiny piece of Daddy's body and a tiny piece of Mommy's body and made you! That's why you look a little like me and a little like Mommy."

The presentation is just sweet and provides a general skimming of the whole topic. But it's enough, you know?

• Enough to give the child an understanding of the basics
• Enough to open up the communication lines and let them know that, as parents, you aren't afraid to talk to them about "weird" stuff.
• Enough to present an opportunity should our children have questions they'd like to ask.

And mine did.

At the part where the book mentions how God made a man and a woman and said it was "very good," the topic of how God created marriage between a man and a woman came up.

And not by me!!

I didn't bring it up. I didn't figure it was something that needed to be addressed. But Selah (5) saw a chance to voice something that's obviously been festering in that innocent little mind of hers.

Selah: "Yeah. It's (Marriage) not for two woman, like the woman I saw."

This is where I get a little fuzzy on the details, as I was trying to nix the shock factor in my voice, stay calm, and try to understand/answer the heart of her statement/question.

Me: "What do you mean?"

Selah: "I saw two woman together. It wasn't like they were mother and daughter. Or mother and grandmother...or aunt...or anything like that. They were together. And that's not right. ...Right?"

Me: "Where did you see them?"

I ask as casually as I can, just trying to understand the full spectrum of what she's thinking, of what she may have seen. all while thinking, Dear Jesus this is so not happening.

She clams up a bit, looks a little embarrassed, and says, "Never mind."

It's amazing to me the number of thoughts that can go through your mind in a split second. I remember thinking that I have to keep her from clamming up, that I've somehow got to re-engage her.

Me: "No. I'm really glad you're telling me this. I like hearing what you think. And I like that you're telling me what you think."

I stress, in every subtle way possible, that I appreciate her thoughts. that there's nothing wrong with what she's sharing. that I like talking to her. in hopes of averting her tight-lipped silence.

Assured that I was sincerely interested in her thoughts (thank you, Lord!), she told me that she'd seen two women "together" at Wal.mart.

Ah yes. Who am I kidding? Wal.mart does sell everything, now doesn't it? Even a quick education in sex.

(Don't even get me started about the "clothes" people wear shopping these days. It's enough to evoke my "Evil Eye". Oh how it infuriates me! Seriously. Do I really need to see that, oh-woman-with-no-modesty?? *snarl*)

::Excuse me a moment while I practice deep breathing exercises in attempt to bring my annoyance under control::

Okay. all better....

Honestly, I feel entirely blessed that I had the opportunity to clear up whatever confusion Selah had been mulling over!! I'm sooo very thankful that she spoke up and shared her thoughts with me!! I'm so very very thankful that I now know my children aren't as "sheltered" as I had once thought. (though how I wish they were!) *sigh*

Now I know that some churches support homo.sexuality. I know some Christians believe that it's alright. But let me be clear, I am not one of those people. I have friends who live that life, as well as relatives. But I will not applaud, excuse or explain it away.

The Bible says it's wrong. and so I will teach my children that it. is. wrong. Period.

I just didn't realize that today would be that day. But trust me, I will not make that mistake again, for my brain is already coming up with ideas about how to best approach The Talk.

And I'm thinking it will be soon.

...I remember asking my mom a question regarding se.x as a little girl (most likely 1st or 2nd grade). I remember that she laughed at me/my question. To her defense, she probably didn't know what to say.

But what I took away from that interaction... that I knew better than to EVER ask her anything regarding sex again.

And believe me, I didn't.

I'm determined not to make that same mistake with my own daughters. I'm determined to be the one to approach my children about it before they strike up the nerve to ask, before they are approached by other children who think they know what they're talking about.

I'm determined to create an atmosphere of trust. a safe place where questions or thoughts aren't embarrassing or shameful.

I'm praying that our talks now can set the stage for those teen years that are fast approaching. I praying that then, as well as now, my daughters will be comfortable enough to share with me what they think, what others are saying, and what people might be asking them to try.

God help me.

But I wanted to share this with you, parent to parent. In case you, like me, were under the disillusioned impression that our children are living unaware.

Because, though I don't consider myself stupid or clueless, I know I NEVERRRR would have thought that my homeschooled kindergartner already had homosex.uality on her radar. *exhaling slowing*

And I never would have thought that I had to include a 5 year old in my planning the discussion of se.x *shaking my head*

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

God gives us wisdom as we teach our children how to effectively live that out in a world determined to abolish innocence, rebel against integrity, and defile anything close to resembling purity.

And please, Lord...could You give those people who frequent the doors of Wal.mart a clue about how to dress? I mean, I'm assuming they're just waxing all sentimental about the Garden of Eden and stuff.

But really, fig leaves just don't cover enough.

Watch "Food Inc"

A few months ago, a friend introduced me to macrobiotics via "The Kind Diet." Totally changed the way I viewed (and ate) food. More to come on that later.

But one thing that the book touched on was the way meat is processed in America. As I read, I was repulsed by the thought. *gag* And then... last night the whole concept was there in front of me, for my viewing...uh, pleasure?

I watched Food Inc.

If you happened to miss it, you can view it here until April 29th.

But be warned. It WILL change the way you view food. and may just cause you to want to plant a garden, grow chickens, and kiss a cow.

Blogdom meet Facebook.

If the last few weeks of my life were to be written out Face Book Style, here's what you'd get.


March 14
After two weeks of Macrobiotics (eating), I'm 10 lbs down. This after I hit a plateau where exercise and careful eating were doing jack squat to ward off post-pregnancy lbs.

Ah, sweet bliss. Well..."sweet" only if it comes in to the form of agave, stevia, or brown rice syrup ;)


March 15
Should I be concerned that my 18 month old will routinely eat wax in the form of crayons and candles? Surely there are better things to snack on? Cardboard, dvd containers, hairclips... Oh wait, she gnaws on those too.

March 16
I can't put to words how completely blessed I feel when blog readers send me encouraging emails. Thank you so much, Annie, for yours today!


March 17
Written to my husband on Facebook: "You know you love me. :) (and just in case you forgot...consider this your friendly reminder).

Yeah. my husband doesn't know what he's got. hahahha


March 18
I have officially taken Exhaustion to a whole new level.


March 19
I can now put all three of my littlest girls down (wide awake) for a nap at the same time...and they just lay there until they go to sleep.

Do you hear that? That's me, sighing in sweet relief. Ahh....


March 20
Swarms of mosquitoes? Really?!

March 21
If only rolls on my thighs were considered this cute!!



March 22
I was just informed by my 7yr old that "TODAY is Mating Season."

Consider this your official warning: Animals everywhere may very well be out of control so as to procreate within the next 24 hours.


March 23
I'm continally amazed at how much I love my husband. All I'll say is God is SO faithful.


March 24
I have to admit, I'm feeling VERY spoiled by the Lord right now. Extremely blessed and very very cared for. These last 5 years, He's been leading us step by step to this place. I'm in total awe.


March 25
Hm. What to do when the resident 18 month old thinks that any and all discipline is hilarious? and will subsequently laugh IN YOUR FACE upon implementation of aforementioned correction? *stumped*


March 26
How is it humanly possible to spend all day cleaning only to have it look the exact same way 24 hour later? Do I breed super-humans capable to leap destroy tall buildings in a single bound day?



March 27
After bemoaning the fact that "allllllll" her friends had been losing their teeth for a long time, she FINALLY lost her first tooth. while spending the night at my parent's house... brushing her teeth. :)




March 28
Connecting with an old friend (thanks, Davene) just lifted 15 pounds off my brain. Now...if only I could translate that weight loss to my booty.


March 29
Spring cleaning with five little ones feels somewhat akin to ...Pointless.


March 30
Still can't believe that my baby is already big enough for the exersaucer!


Raquel @3.5 months


March 31
Mid hammer strike, the girls all decided that they wanted to be builders when they grew up.


Until 5 minutes later, when Charis (7) changed her mind and promptly informed us. "Never mind. I don't want a job."

Though they were all thrilled with the end result of their hard work: A cross. ...which they plan on eventually painting. But only when that rare desire to work hits Charis. :)


April 1
Fifteen years ago, a guy friend of mine was preparing the details of how to ask me to marry him. with all my college suitemates present. as an April Fool's Joke.

He got held up at a meeting and it never happened. For some random reason, I wondered today if I would've actually fallen for it (being that it was well known he had a crush...). :)


April 2
The dog that almost was...


Bu-bye, Sasha (our new puppy). She growled and snapped at the girls and me a few times. We're So not keeping a dog that we can't trust 100%, so back to the breeder she goes.

Now to comfort the mass of sobbing girls...

An aside: the breeder said due to the fact that all of her sibling puppies died and she was taken from her mom at an early age, she thinks puppy-girl got used to being the alpha dog.


April 3
For the record, feeding Alana "fun" foods will guarantee 12 hours of her undying friendship.

(Lani with the bribing adult's Shelli's guacamole)

Letting her wear your highly expensive sunglasses may grant you a few more additional hours.

Though proceed with caution, as I cannot insure this to be the case. And you need to take into consideration that she gravitates towards destruction.

*BUT* if you happen to be a blue-eyed, blond haired little boy wanting her friendship...apparently you only need pick her up.



Take note of Raegan in the corner.

She was quietly assuring herself that he'd eventually pick her up too. He never did.

She was still talking about his lack of picking her up the next day. :)


April 4
Uncle Uncle! I give up!

Jet is and will evermore be rendered The Cool Parent. I present to you his creation: Easter Morning Breakfast.

Heart French toast.

He makes the mess and secures the undying love of my daughters. I clean it up and get dishpan hands.

Somehow I get the feeling I have the raw end of the deal, though I just can't put my finger on why. *wry grin*

My beautiful girls, Easter 2010 @ Grandma's.

Selah was sick. Charis looks in pain. Raquel is totally indifferent. And Thing One and Thing Two (A. and R) were clearly working off a sugar high.

No Hallmarkesk moment for us.


April 5
Does it REALLY count as calories if wads...uh, I mean polite bite-sized bits of chocolate are eaten in attempt to ward off stress levels shooting out of control?

Because really, that sounds more like Proactive Health Maintenance to me.

April 6
I hereby acknowledge that hygiene is overrated when dealing with children who refuse to stay clean.

Good thing she wears it well.


April 7
On the upside, Selah has obviously been listening during all of our Healthy Eating discussions. On the downside, I think she may have misunderstood the value of cholesterol.

I present to you her entrepreneurial venture:

Interpretation: "Clack Straw Restaurant" slightly modified from "Cholesterol Restaurant" only because Charis said, "NOO! that's something that's bad for your body!"


April 8
And the headlines read: Slacker Mother finally caves and dyes Easter Eggs with her children.



April 9
Okay, I confess. I bought my children Easter Bunnies that they nev-er knew existed. Clearly, I have issues.

(as in, I ate them)


April 10
About midnight Jet checked on Raegan (3yrs). As she slept that deep breathing kind of sleep, he whispered in her ear "Whose girl?" In her sleep, she immediately whispered: "Daddy's girl."

You should have seen him. He's so past in love with that little girl.


April 11
Take three little girls (3 mo, 18 mo. and 3 yrs) who haven't been breathing, sleeping, or nursing well and multiply it by 6 consecutive nights and you get ---> one morning trip to ER and two exhausted parents.


April 12
Take note. It took five tries before my dominant DNA got tired and gave Jet's a fighting chance. heh heh


She's got her daddy's eyes.


In fact, I just look at her and think "Jet".

This look is so classic of Raquel. She has such a gentle joy. (3.5 mos)


April 13
Please tell me, oh owner of the old house with 10 acres, that you did not just point out the nasty meat stains (circa Civil War) on the attic floor as a real estate selling point!? Honestly?


April 14
Alana fell and hit her head causing her to cry so hard that she passed out. Again. This is the third time that she's passed out when crying.

The first time it happened, I about passed out myself.


April 15
I was just informed that "I don't want to be a parent...because I don't want to be old like you."

Be advised parenting is not for the faint of heart. or those lacking in confidence, humor, or the ability to bite your tongue.


April 16
In case you weren't aware, curling up in the fetal position and loudly crying DOES get your children to stop fighting. Just needed to clear that up.


April 17
After two full weeks of sick children, I now understand why sleep deprivation is an effective form for getting prisoners to "confess". I'm fairly confident I'll say whatever you want me to....if you just ensure I'll get 5 hours of consecutive sleep.


April 18
Just had THE Biggest Scare of my life. (Blog to follow).


April 19
After a month long fiasco, we have finally been cleared for a refinance. Our old mortgage company went bankrupt, selling our mortgage to another company...who was giving us the run-around (to put it nicely) when we requested required information over and over and over again.

So glad to have that behind us. *closure feels so good*


So there you have it. The ins and outs of my day that you didn't necessarily want to know. Uh-huh...You're welcome. ;)

Heeding his "advice"

Amidst all that the Lord has been revealing during the past year, He's showed me the other day that He's only given me two directives.

You are my friends if you do what I command. John 15:14

Meaning out of all that He's been saying, He's only told me to DO two things. The rest is just bonus knowledge for the time being: understanding, insight, and revelation.

And really, I'm so thankful that He pointed that out because I was unsure what to do with the magnitude/frequency of some of what He's been laying on our hearts. Like, was it begging for an immediate sumpin-sumpin on my part? Was I supposed to be figuring out an "appropriate responsive action"?

But thankfully, He doesn't always give revelation in order to evoke immediate action. Sometimes he just wants to share his heart, friend to friend.

"...the upright are in His confidence." Proverbs 3:32

"The secret (some translations say friendship) of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will show them his covenant."

another translation of the same verse...

"The LORD advises those who fear him. He reveals to them the intent of his promise." Psalm 25:14

His reminder to focus on what I know that I am to do made it that much easier to draw my attention back to the two things that He's asked of me this last year:

• Co-write "the" book
  
• Getting my house organized and cleaned out "like we were getting ready to move".

And so that's what I've been trying to focus on. And man, if it hasn't kept me busy...and RADICALLY changed my perspective on Stuff.

-----------

After the Lord told me to reallllly deep clean my house, ridding it of all excess and clutter, I truly was stumped. I mean, it's not like I harbor junk. If anything, I always thought I was a bit obsessive when it came to purging our home of things.

(Just ask my family! My girls routinely ask me, "Are we going to have to yardsale that?" Me thinks they fear for their stuff at times. heh heh)

But here He was telling me to, AGAIN, get rid of stuff? Was there actually anything left TO get rid of? I kind of doubted it.

But one day, as I was walking up to the attic...to go through bins that I'd already gone through dozens of times before...He spoke. And though I don't remember the exact wording of it, here's the gist:

You have to get over this mentality of harboring stuff... the thoughts of "one day I'll use it" that seemingly justify your amassing of junk when there are others that can use it today. When you harbor things, it stops my full blessings from being able to be poured out on you.

That stopped me in my tracks, let me tell you! But it makes sense, you know? Kind of like a "make room so I can fill you with MY good things" type of thought.

And man, if that didn't completely give me a change of heart!! It was like my eyes were opened to a new way of looking at all my excess of unused things.

• Suddenly clothes that I had been holding onto, yet never wore for whatever reason...we're boxed up to give to others.
• Toys and books that were never used, were sent out to other children.
• Games that just sit on the shelf taking up space were added to the pile of giveaways.
  
• Furniture that we could do without...

It's been a full year now and I'm guessing well over 35 large boxes of stuff has been given away. Not to mention the things that ended up at The Goodwill because it wasn't nice enough to give to someone.

Where this stuff came from, I don't know??! But I can't tell you the FREEDOM that has come with its exodus from my house. And I'm STILL finding stuff to purge...?!

Honestly, there are times when I don't get the things the Lord tells me to do. It makes little to no sense to me in that moment. But I suppose that's part of faith...trusting that, in time, He'll make it make sense. (at least that's the hope, huh? *grin*)

And, as I sit here, almost a year later, I can't tell you how many times I've been overwhelmed with thankfulness that I yielded my right to understand and obeyed anyway.

Because now...we're actually planning to move. A "random" decision that came Com-plete-ly out of the blue. (more on that later).

I happen to believe that the state of our home reflects the state of our hearts. And I know that the Lord is prepping Jet and I to be lighter. less attached to Stuff. and more free to receive the things I believe He's positioning us to obtain.

Trying to put words to it.

More and more and more and more...the Hand of the Lord is moving.

Rapidly repositioning. Swiftly moving, piece by piece, the...well, everything.

as He's loudly proclaimed direction and instruction to my husband and me.

Honestly, the last few months have been like watching a movie. because our life (the plans, the places we thought we were headed, the way the Lord was relating to us) has taken such a random and sudden shift. A shift that we've had no intentional part in creating.

Outside of hearing the voice of God direct, and then moving to obey.

I wish I could just sit down with you and talk, you know? My heart is not to be secretive when the Hand of the Lord is moving like a whirlwind in my life. My desire is to be transparent, honest, and loud when it comes to the ...oh what word to describe His ways?

But there's just too much. Too many things..surreal things that feel odd to even acknowledge. This has been a season of total outpouring from the Lord. Here recently, He's been a chatty one, that guy. ;)

And though Motherhood has been keeping me busy...though priorities have changed to include more time with my daughters and less time with the internet..that's not the reason why I haven't been blogging.

There's just been too much to even being to touch the surface of what He's doing.

There are a precious few who know some of the ins and outs of our lives right now. And even then, that's limited knowledge. It's just all too wild.

I mean, God has been telling us things that I wouldn't ever be bold enough to imagine Him saying, not to mention being crazy enough to share. And you know me, I'm pretty crazy. ;D

...
This is the reason I haven't written. It's just too much. I don't even know where to go from here.

Maybe tomorrow. ;)

Who He is.

Sometimes I wonder if we make Jesus into a Heavenly Father who is sitting on his Throne, tight-lipped, ready to discipline. watching for any and all opportunity to "teach me a lesson".

Sometimes I wonder if we make Him into a convenient excuse for why things happen. "God must have a plan."

And sometimes it just appears that we think Him incapable of an Intervention. indifferent to our circumstances. and overall just sick and tired of our inability to make a decision, create a way, and present a suitable sacrifice.

But the truth is that HE made a way. He does care. and He knows we are but dust... wholly dependent on Him to even enable us to love Him in the first place.

And Thank the Good Lord that He doesn't stray from Who He Is. even when we misunderstand, misinterpret, and misjudge His character.

He Is. and He always will be.






And I'm so very very thankful.

On this Easter morning, I pray you are tangibly touched by Who he REALLY is. and Who He desperately wants to be in your life.

The Clothes Line

In my parent's side yard are two trees. Trees, that for years and years and years, had a clothes line strung up between them.




For as long as I remember, I would have to physically duck down in order to pass between the trees so that I could go sit on a swing.

A couple years back, my parents took that clothes line down.

Around that time, Jet and I moved back from Texas. And as we waited for the contract on our house to close, we lived with my parents for a couple of months. So on a daily basis, at least once a day, I passed between those two trees to join my girls on their beloved swing.

Just like I had done all of my life.

The first time I walked between the trees (after the line was removed), I ducked. In fact, I hadn't realized that the line was gone yet. I was so used to it's presence, that I just expected it to be there and reacted accordingly.

The second time I walked through, I ducked. Again. The fact that the clothesline was actually gone (and I was aware of this) didn't matter. Because my brain kept insisting:

1. You can't always see a clothes line until you're almost on top of it.
2. It will hurt. Therefore avoid it at all costs.

Day after day, I would pass through those trees. Day after day, my body would draw back as I walked through. Time after time after time...

In all honestly, the whole scenerio was baffling to me.

The fact that I was apparently unable to break this odd habit was crazy. The fact that my body was pulling rank over my rationalizing skills just seemed so silly. Especially since I knew it was gone, you know?!

Especially since I had the reassurance that it was not going back up. Ever.

YET my body had been conditioned to duck, regardless of whether the present-day need was urgent or non-existent. My mind had been trained to anticipate the pain and avoid it.

Habit was over-riding logic. Expectation of being clothes-lined was effecting my daily walk (to the swing).

This "habit", formed out of necessity to avoid pain, had apparently become as involuntary as breathing.

So I, being determined to not let this "invisible line" rule me, started to consciously change my thinking.

It may sound silly, but I'd walk up next to the trees. Stop. And remind myself that the clothes line was not there anymore. That there was no need to duck. That I could just walk straight through. Without incident or pain.

And then, I would proceed to walk through to the swing on the other side.

It took me many many times of this kind of resetting of my mind before I could walk through without physically hesitating or flinching. It took practice. It took a Ginormous amount of mental dedication to walk the path over and over again. *hard to believe*

My body...and my brain...expected an obstacle as I walked that path. Regardless of what reality said I should expect. So I had to intentionally retrain them both.

Crazy isn't it? Even now, as I write this, I think, "Seriously, was it THAT hard?!" But I assure you, it was. Yet during this entire process, I heard the still small voice of the ever-creative Father say, "Isn't this how trust is?"

Huh. Yeah, I guess it is.

If there's any area in my life where I have been hurt again and again, it's easy to just expect it, you know? Regardless of whether "reality" says I have reason or not.

Because when people have let me down again and again...if I have been betrayed, back-stabbed, or emotionally beaten down...it's near impossible to not just expect it and react accordingly. Regardless of how I want to react, you know?

It's a tricky thing, our brain. When you think a thought enough times, it literally creates a groove/pathway within the framework of the brain. Essentially, it becomes easier and easier to think the same thought. Or in music, to play the same song without effort. Or I'd wager a guess... in relationships, to expect the same outcome.

SO on the same token, does that mean that it becomes harder and harder to think something that travels apart from that groove? *shrug* Just a guess.

The question that I have to ask myself is this: what grooves have been niched out in the framework of my brain? Spiritually, emotionally, relationally, etc.

Are there invisible "clotheslines" in my life where I continue to duck? Expecting to get pelted,when it's not really reality? Am I walking through life, avoiding going between the proverbial trees because I think a boobie-trap of sorts has been set?



Am I withholding my heart...my trust...from a particular relationship because I have trained it to hide behind walls for protection sake?

My guess. Yeah. There are many invisible clotheslines. Especially where relationships are concerned. I expect certain people to act a certain way towards me.

So okay, Lord. You have my attention. I get it. You used that stinkin' clothesline to challenge me. To show me that I have some trust issues. ....I'm listening. What do I need to do? Show me how and what to change.

Renew my mind so that I may interact with those people (You know the ones) in a way that doesn't stem from fear, haughtiness, judgement, or hate.

I really do want to be able to walk to "the other side" without expecting to be *whacked*.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

Changing the way you approach QUIET times...

I'm sorry, but did you just say "QUIET"?!

Excuse me while I laugh because I'm fairly certain "quiet" just isn't a part of my life right now.


In fact, there's nothing particularly quiet about my life these days. Shoot, even my nights aren't quiet. Yet somehow I'm expected to have a "legitimate quiet time"?

Uh...?


One day I'll be able to go off by myself, find a field or a stretch of beach that's all my own while I bear my heart before God.

But today is not that day, you know?

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Lord. I have a daily relationship with Him. We communicate...I talk. He listens. He talks. I listen. But getting away by myself, physically positioning myself in prayer...


Well, it's just not happening right now.

But I'm pretty okay with that. Only because I KNOW my Heavenly Father is okay with it as well. Because I believe He understands, MORE THAN ANYONE, what my days look like.

BUT, that said...

Even though I can't physically position myself, I'm learning how to inwardly position my heart.

And man, if it hasn't been revealing in my lack of "steadfastness". and of my (in)ability to "Pray without ceasing..."

Okay, so there are daily chores that have to be accomplished, right? You know, in order to not run out of underwear. or dishes. or carpet space so as to be able to walk through a room.

In a house of 7 people, there's always something that needs to be done so we are able to accomplish the most basic things in life. There just seems to be no way around it.

I mean, sure I could forgo fixing lunch and washing towels, but do I really want to contend with ravenous, hygiene-deficient children? I think not. ;)


So what the Lord has been challenging me with? To do the things that Motherhood requires, but and to simultaneously set my heart and mind and focus on him in the midst of it.

As I'm washing clothes or vacuuming up yet another box of cereal that Alana dumped on the floor, I'm trying to SET my heart on him and INTENTIONALLY place my thoughts on praying.

Sounds easier than it really is. Seriously.

Because I'll be mid-sentence in prayer and suddenly my thoughts run off in a THOUSAND directions.

And I don't even realize what happened until 5 minutes later when it suddenly occurs to me that I'm thinking about wild monkeys in India when, just moments before, I WAS praying about the health of my children.

Thank the good Lord, he has an a-maz-ing sense of humor.

But, good news is, I'm getting better. I think the first time I tried to "pray without ceasing" amidst the daily ins and outs of life, I lasted all of 12.7 seconds before my thoughts strayed.

Now, I may very well be up to 24.5. *laughing*

But, being that I'm a Professional Mom and all, I'm all about applauding "baby steps". :D

Here's to reworking the way I define "Quiet Times" during this season in life when "inside voices" is as quiet as it gets.