Excuse me while I laugh because I'm fairly certain "quiet" just isn't a part of my life right now.
In fact, there's nothing particularly quiet about my life these days. Shoot, even my nights aren't quiet. Yet somehow I'm expected to have a "legitimate quiet time"?
Uh...?
One day I'll be able to go off by myself, find a field or a stretch of beach that's all my own while I bear my heart before God.But today is not that day, you know?
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Lord. I have a daily relationship with Him. We communicate...I talk. He listens. He talks. I listen. But getting away by myself, physically positioning myself in prayer...
Well, it's just not happening right now.
But I'm pretty okay with that. Only because I KNOW my Heavenly Father is okay with it as well. Because I believe He understands, MORE THAN ANYONE, what my days look like.
BUT, that said...
Even though I can't physically position myself, I'm learning how to inwardly position my heart.
And man, if it hasn't been revealing in my lack of "steadfastness". and of my (in)ability to "Pray without ceasing..."
Okay, so there are daily chores that have to be accomplished, right? You know, in order to not run out of underwear. or dishes. or carpet space so as to be able to walk through a room.
In a house of 7 people, there's always something that needs to be done so we are able to accomplish the most basic things in life. There just seems to be no way around it.I mean, sure I could forgo fixing lunch and washing towels, but do I really want to contend with ravenous, hygiene-deficient children? I think not. ;)
So what the Lord has been challenging me with? To do the things that Motherhood requires,
As I'm washing clothes or vacuuming up yet another box of cereal that Alana dumped on the floor, I'm trying to SET my heart on him and INTENTIONALLY place my thoughts on praying.
Sounds easier than it really is. Seriously.
Because I'll be mid-sentence in prayer and suddenly my thoughts run off in a THOUSAND directions.
And I don't even realize what happened until 5 minutes later when it suddenly occurs to me that I'm thinking about wild monkeys in India when, just moments before, I WAS praying about the health of my children.
Thank the good Lord, he has an a-maz-ing sense of humor.
But, good news is, I'm getting better. I think the first time I tried to "pray without ceasing" amidst the daily ins and outs of life, I lasted all of 12.7 seconds before my thoughts strayed.
Now, I may very well be up to 24.5. *laughing*
But, being that I'm a Professional Mom and all, I'm all about applauding "baby steps". :D
Here's to reworking the way I define "Quiet Times" during this season in life when "inside voices" is as quiet as it gets.
