The odd thing about putting it all out there, in the from of Blog, is that people read it. Shocking revelation, I know. But tis true. tis true.
And as with anything else that people read...people judge. It just comes with the territory.
I suppose as a blogger, you could pick and choose what side of yourself that you want to display. The funny side. The deeper side. The confused. The motherly. The... on and on the list of human traits continues.
For me, I had determined long ago that I was just going to go with whatever I was feeling at the time. I wasn't going to try and showcase any one part of me...or of our family. I just want to be completely real.
Because years from now, I want my children's children to be able to read this and have a full understanding of who their grandma is/was....and who their mommy was as a little girl.
(Shew. now if that isn't a weird thing to call yourself: 'grandma')
Anyway.
With my just putting it all out there, I know that I run the risk of people making loads of assumptions about me. about my heart. and my life.
Is that why I've taken off the ability to comment? NO. (this is why) I actually love people commenting. Please email away!! GvnJCmyALL@aol.com
But what I don't appreciate is someone reading my blog once. and then making negative generalizations about me. as if they were infallible facts.
That said.
One of my most recent blogs created quite a stir. I received more emails regarding that blog than any other since I removed comments from my blog site.
But in the first email I received... I was accused of being indifferent to scripture, as well as being in sin because I was "wrestling with God" over my feelings....among other things (and yes, I am serious...I have her emails in front of me).
I've debated back and forth over whether to even share some of the harsh comments that I received from that one woman. But have ultimately decided against it. Regardless of how she sees me, I still feel some sort of desire to protect her even though she is a stranger to me...as well as to my blog.
Her emails (there were multiple of them as she and I "conversed" during the course of a day) disturbed me to the extent that I called one friend and emailed two more (this gal and this one) to ask them to read my posts and tell me if I am off, deceived, or just plan wrong. I picked them because
1. I know them to be heartfelt believers. and
2. I knew that they'd tell me the truth and not just what they thought I'd want to hear.
They, in fact, encouraged me beyond belief. (thank you guys) And then...by God's divine timing...the emails started to pour in from, literally, across the globe.
People thanking me for the exact post the one reader pummeled me for. Their emails were filled with how the Spirit used my writing to bring refreshment to their hearts and hope to their current circumstances.
And so my heart was refreshed as well.
...I told my friend that if anything I was glad for the emails from that one stranger. That though I didn't appreciate some of the things she said nor the obvious judgements she held against me and her assumption of my walk with Christ, her accusations only caused me to draw nearer to Him.
And for that I am thankful.
This world of Blog is an odd one. Friendships are created...deep ones...with people you may never meet. People put their heart out there again and again, sharing their life's story with the masses. Women connecting with women...and in some cases, being drawn to the Father heart of God through these connections. in others laughing hysterically together over the daily trials of mothering these little monkeys we like to call children.
I cherish each one of you guys as readers. You encourage me, challenge me, and bring joy to my days.
You remind me that even though this season of my being home with the Littles can feel like a lonely one at times...that there are thousands upon thousands of you out there. experiencing the same thing. making the same sacrifices. and living, essentially, the same life.
this layed down life of Motherhood that some of us have been asked to walk. this blessing of simply being a Woman, regardless of the particular life calling.
Thanks for taking the time to read my random thoughts...to care about the ins and outs of our days...to press together with me, into the Throne room of the Lord.
I will continue to write, not for the masses, but for my children. my own sanity. and for the One to whom my soul longs. I'm just so honored that you've decided to join me in the journey.
