Last week, my "three weeks" came to a close. And though I noticed it, life with four little ones rarely gives me time to sit and reflect.
Yet this week, I've been feeling the Lord gently turn my attentions to a few things....
When God spoke three weeks to my heart, I held it in the context of our finances. After all, that was the pressing need at the time. And while I do still believe that a breakthrough in finances is included, this past week or so I've been noticing something different.
something that I, in no way, connected to the "three weeks". Until He did.
I know no other way to explain it than saying that I have a complete and total change in my mindset concerning a few things. things that I've been trying to change for quite sometime now, but felt powerless to do anything about.
Have you ever experienced something like that? A way of thinking that has so ingrained itself into your being that you can't seem to separate yourself from it? like the way you've become accustomed to speaking to your spouse or children or boss. Or the way you eat compulsively when upset. Or...a hundred other things I can think of right now.
Regardless of how often you tell yourself that you should just clap your hands and *bam* have instant Undoing, nothing changes. at least not for long.
Am I making any sense here? Or am I the only person that has fought against mental bondage in certain arenas?
If I were speaking to a room full of women, I'd have no problem just laying it all out there. None whatsoever. But knowing that's not the case, I just can't bring myself to have a verbal vomit session about the whole of what I speak.
But I can share on one arena. Homeschooling.
Though homeschooling with JOY is one of my main goals, it has taken work for me to even come close to achieving it.
I've had to make the conscious decision to watch my facial expressions, watch my tone of voice, make sure not to just rush through the material so I can check it off my mental to-do list. meanwhile missing out on the whole point of *enjoying* my children.
And though it may sound like nothing much to you, to me this is HUGE stuff. Because that whole struggle ...well, it's like whatever opposition I've been facing in that area has instantaneously lifted. GONE. NON EXISTENT. NO LONGER an issue.
Suddenly it's been so easy for me to be truly and deeply joyful over the fact that I get to experience my girls like I do. on a daily basis. on an hourly basis. We're laughing as we work on school. Honestly enjoying the company of one another.
To me, this is monumental.
If you don't homeschool and need some sort of reference point to understand... It's sort of like a relationship that you have with someone that really gets under your skin. You don't want them to annoy you. You try and convince yourself that you will be the best of friends with them. that they way they do XYZ will no longer have any impact on you. none what.so.ever.
But man oh man, it's like they come equipped to get you flustered just looking at them. Until one day. You wake up and not only have no negative anything against them...you now actually want to be around them.
This is that kind of big for me. I've been finding myself tearing up, just looking at my girls and knowing that I get to teach them and spend time with them like I am. in this short season.
I'm experiencing this type of Instant healing in at least one other arena of thought. maybe a second...though I'm not really sure yet. I'm still feeling that one out. :)
It's like all opposition to my having victory in the battle of the mind has been supernaturally removed. I'm beyond grateful. and having trouble even finding the words to share it.
But it does make me all the more anxious to see what other victories are going to present themselves now that those "three weeks" are up. Now that the Lord is obviously setting new bounds around my mind. my finances. my life.
Informing the enemy: "Thou shall not pass!"
