Yep. Here we are again. Reporting to you from The Family Dinner Table. where all the action happens these days.
Charis: Mommy? What's "Monkey Business"?
Mommy: *Complete and Shocked Silence*
(Pull it together, girl. You can do this. Don't look too shocked. Kids can smell fear. ...Quick say something. Only don't make a big deal out of it. Breathe. In. Out. Good. Now open your mouth. Speak. Anything!)
I start to say something. I steady my voice. I feign confident and in-charge. and fail.
I stumble. I stuttered. I stop mid-sentence.
Jet, from across the table, put me out of my misery and finally speaks up: Well... you know Curious George?
Charis and Selah switch their gaze from me to him. and smile. Now Curious George, they get.
Jet: He's a monkey, right?
Charis and Selah: Yeah!!
Jet: And he's always getting into trouble. Right?
More emphatic nodding of the heads.
Jet: Well...that's what "monkey business" is. When people do things that get them into trouble.
Yeah. Right. Why didn't I think of that? When in doubt...revert to cartoon characters.
And for the record? Worked like a charm.
Now to rack my brain for any and all cartoon characters that could help me in the inevitable S*ex talk that is bound to happen any. day. now.
For those of you that are following this, can you even believe how fast this is snowballing?! Thank you, Jolanthe, for dropping off the inhaler. I just had my lung spasms under control. When this hit.
Got any Percocet?
*And no, we have not been hanging around the local bar. Cross my heart. That lovely little statement was heard on Little house on the Prairie. And yes, it was referring to 'messing around'. Is nothing safe to watch these days?!* :)
