But oh, how I wasn't prepared for it to happen to one of my daughters. Not yet anyhow.
A few nights ago, one of my girls came up and asked me simple question. A question I didn't realize came loaded with a Self-Confidence hanging in the balance.
For what I thought was a random question about herself ended up being the source of a deep hurt that she had experienced a week prior.
A week!
For at least seven days she had been processing a comment made by friends about herself. processing. questioning. hurting. All silently. Until she asked me The Question.
and then a flood of little girl sobs came rushing out... not understanding why someone would say what they did. not knowing how to process this new found introduction to the Enemy's most favorite tool: Ridicule.
For the next 30 minutes, Daddy and Mommy tried to give her a speed-readers course for How to Survive the World and Still Have Self Esteem. for elementary school kids.
But I'm thinking we may have failed. at least I know I feel like I did.
I'm finding as a parent that I want my children to be likable. (I think most any parent would own up to that one.) to somehow equip them to bypass all the hurt feelings that we went through as children. to supernaturally give them a 30 year old's confidence so that when faced with a situation like this, they can respond maturely.
...as in knowing that in the greater scheme of life, being called "four eyes" doesn't really matter. Afterall, you'll get contacts in highschool.
Only they aren't mature. They're four. and six.
and are completely incapable of pretending that words don't hurt. because suddenly they set you face to face with the harsh truth: not everyone will like you.
And even when they do, they still may point out things about you that stand out as odd. annoying. or less than.
Like the size of your feet or booty. The color of your hair or skin. The shape of your nose or your smile. The sound of your singing voice or name...
In the world of Kid, everything and anything is game for pointed jokes. And no one is outside the realm of "Target Practice" when there are words to be thrown.
I survived middle school. (personally, I think this should be a bumper sticker) I prevailed over the teen years. And though hurt by many careless words, I exited Adolescence with a relatively strong self-esteem.
But then I had kids.
and I'm finding that I am feeling the same feelings all over again. as I watch them enter the years where name-calling and body bashing is the norm. I want to take them and hold them in my arms, protecting them from words that may hurt.
But I know I can't. ...what a sad sad revelation. because everything in me fights to make sure they go unharmed, you know?
Yet. I realize all I can do is build up their confidence while I still hold the fleeting title of "Smartest Person in the World". to diligently instill in them the Truth that the Hand of God took special care to design their little person.
Whoever said "Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" needs to be horse-whipped. Because it's just. not. true.God give me grace as my girls enter into this stage of life. I just don't feel ready.
