THE TRIP:
This morning, as I sat worshipping in my room...out of no where, an unnerving thought hit my heart.
"Something isn't right. The baby hasn't moved."
Now, Little Lani Girl is a Mover and a Shaker. I rarely have to sit still to do a "fetal count"...because she's always moving. But this morning, she hadn't. At all.
Sitting back on my bed and trying to remain at peace, I started to talk to her...move her as hard as I could...anything to get her to respond. Nothing.
Immediately, I called Jet. He prayed and as soon as he came against the spirit of fear, she moved. But just a bit.
I got off the phone relieved that I saw some movement, but still not at peace. "Do I call the midwives? don't I? I have an appointment tomorrow. So I can wait until then. She's probably okay."
On and on my mind raced. But then it rested on what a midwife had said months ago. "If you feel anything out of the ordinary...I don't care what it is....call us."
So I picked up the phone and dialed the OB office. Just to run it by them. Especially since I've recently noticed that I've lost weight, taking me back to where I was a few weeks ago.
They told me to come in. And eventually sent me to the hospital because her heart rate was dipping. and her amniotic fluid was low. They assured me that the whole hospital trip was cautionary. but I was having to fight to remain at peace.
For the next two hours, I was hooked up to monitors so the L/D nurses could keep tabs on Lani's heartbeat. As I was trying to keep tabs on the Heartbeat of the Father. pressing myself as close to His Chest as I could.
Everything looks fine. In fact, she's got a great heart beat!? I was sent home with strict instructions to rest. and drink like a fish.
THE REVELATION:
One thing that I sensed as we entered the hospital was the anxiety. fear. and hopeless. It was like I could literally feel it when we walked into the building. I can only explain it by comparing it to a fog.
Ever been driving down the road and look over to the side, seeing a patch of low-lying fog? It just sits there. resting over a certain spot. so thick that you are unable to see that which it covers.
Well, it felt like that. Like we had walked into a thick haze.
But the Lord kept bringing to mind the time spent with Him yesterday. the work that I know He did for me. the spiritual equipping that took place (I saw it in a pretty stinkin' cool vision). ;)
And I knew I didn't have to succumb to the haze. I could be the like the gale-force wind that forcibly drives it back.
And right then and there, I decided that I really want to be a person who changes the atmosphere when I enter a room. Like Paul. His presence was so saturated in the manifest presence of God, that his shadow healed people.
Meaning, if you were to see into the spiritual realm, Paul's very shadow drove back the forces of evil. causing an immediate "undoing" of their destruction (in this case sickness and disease) to take place.
I want that.
I want to be so saturated in the Presence of God that the next time I walk into that hospital, I will not only remain at rest, but there will be an outpouring of peace that extends to those near me. For His Glory.
THE PROGRESS:
While I was there, Barbara checked me to see how far along things were progressing. Currently, I'm at 2 cm. -2 station. 50% effaced and "very very soft".
Which, as she said, could mean I could deliver tonight. or sometime this month. ;) Ah yes, those vague specifics. So comforting.
But at least I know something is happening. Because after today, I am very ready to be done with this whole last leg of pregnancy.
