The Easter Season

This is one of the better Easter pictures I got on Sunday. It's actually not even good. But it has two redeeming qualities. They are all looking towards the camera at the same time. And it is a bit revealing about a side of their different personalities:
Selah doesn't have to try; she just always looks great....and cheerful. Charis is always trying to be helpful. So she always tries to dutifully smile for the camera; unfortunately, she gets bored of it easily and can end up looking like she's in pain. And Raegan...well, she is just a ham in the making.

But as "not good" as it is, I just didn't have it in me to keep trying. The girls were running around amusing themselves with their cousins. And I...am just tired to continue vying for the best shot and figure "this is good enough".

Kind of like where I've been as far as the blog is concerned. Just tired. Not feeling creative enough to put to words any of the happenings, the thoughts, or the humor that's in our lives currently. Or maybe I've been creative enough...just not motivated enough?

Eh. Who knows. Who cares. But I figure, it's all just a part of the season of life I'm in.

Do you ever find that to be true with you? You go through a season where you are just full of thoughts. dreams. excitement. And then...you suddenly find yourself smack dab in the middle of a season of rest. inactivity. silence.

There are times when I feel like I have a personal connection to the Throne Room of God. I will literally hear God preaching sermons in my head. Non stop. Great ones. Ones where I have to sit down and take notes. On an hourly basis. There are times when I only have to listen to music and close my eyes. In that moment, I can see an original dance being choreographed in front of me. Times where I can sit down at the computer and write and write and write.

And then there are times when I pray and pray and am met in silence. Thick silence. The kind where it almost echoes in your brain it's so..."loud". Times where all my previous dreams appear to have been erased from memory. Where I seemingly have become a blank slate. And while that whole "blank slate scenario" may sound exciting...a time when you presumably get to marvel in the potential and fresh beginning ahead...in that moment, the only thing it usually yields is frustration.

For me, the Cycle just seems to be a way of life. Sort of like the four weather seasons. Regardless of how exciting summer is going...how full of life it is...Fall will always creep in and take over. It just happens. Because it's just LIFE.

And as I've begun to understand this about my life (maybe it's true for all humans? or just women? or...just me?), I've learned not to fight it. not to roll around in guilt or self pity for what I'm not doing or being. but just to embrace it.

Well, okay. So maybe I'm yet to really love it. But at least I'm no longer despising it. :) Maybe later on in life, when I'm more mature, then I'll be able to fully embrace it. ?

But for now. That's where I am. A season of rest. one where there are a lot of questions that are twirling around. A lot of decisions about the immediate future that only I can make. A lot of days where I'm, honestly, just trying to make it through to the time that I know Jet is on his way home.

Just days where the hours are...though full...don't feel as full of excitement and meaning.

So yes. Life has been busy. And good. God has been busy. And good. But my mind has been so overwhelmed with the processing of it that I have no spare energy for the capturing of it.

Who knows? Maybe once I am in the middle of the second trimester, I'll get back energy AND creative thinking. But for now, I'll just REST. Take life as it comes. And enjoy it in all it's quiet wonder.

...and on that note, for those of you that are asking...I would take a belly shot, but there's not really a belly to shoot yet. Give me a few more weeks maybe? I'm only 14 weeks...

On another note, here's a picture of my Princess Charis. SHE is currently in the season of life where she loves to dress up and fully embrace everything feminine. At least TODAY. Tomorrow she may don her armor and pretend to be a Knight killing a hunter.

Apparently the seasons of life change a lot more rapidly when you're only five and the whole world is bursting with possibilities of who you get to be.