Working on being TRI-Lingual

I'm proud to announce that my girls are shockingly proficient in two languages. However, despite all my teaching efforts towards the Spanish language, they have chosen another route to the land of bilinguals. They now speak both English. And Whining. It's their fluency in the latter that tends to amaze me.

Yes, it has now been deemed an official language. At least for those who lean more towards the estrogen-heavy end of things. And in a house where we have 3 children, ALL of which are girls, I'm told that I had better get used to translating.


"buhhh, yew seeeeed we cud, moawwwwwmeee."
Actually, no I never said you could.

Apparently fluency in this language comes with the innate ability to remember things as only you would have them. Not as they really are. That too seems to be something that I must learn to navigate my way through. Who knew motherhood needed both an active understanding of Naval Intelligence AND a PhD in abnormal psychology?

The Whine Awakening in our home occurred about 6 months ago. When my girls were barely 4 and 2 and I...well, let's just say I was about 13 months pregnant. Therefore, it hit ALL of us at once. For I, too, found myself suddenly able to converse in this native tongue. My husband? Though he doesn't speak it, he is able to effectively communicate with those who are. It seems that most men are able to understand it without ever having it downloaded into their system at birth. I've heard they get the WWF (world wrestling federation)downloading...

Boys are, as it would seem, inheritantly different from the get-go. All the way thru adulthood. Including the way that people choose to interact with them.

For instance, when people hear that we have three girls, Jet and I get varied reactions. He gets the "Aww, how cute is that?!" "I bet they have you wrapped around their little fingers!" and "Oh, I bet you're hitting the gym now in preparation for the dating years." All cute sentiments aimed at the preciousness, if not sacredness, of a father-daughter relationship.

I, on the otherhand, get "the look". You know, that look where you suddenly feel like your 8 years old and you've been caught trying to get away with something that you knew better than to try in the first place. THAT look. And I get what I like to call the "just you wait" commentary. "Ohhhh...I have one boy and one girl. And man, if the girl wasn't WAY harder than the boy." "Prepare yourself for the mood swings." "My daughter and I have a love hate relationship. She loves to hate me." "Man, I don't want to be in YOUR house when PMS hits." "Just wait until you have a house full of teenage GIRLS." Somehow I get jipped of the Hallmark-like feeling that my husband gets to revel in.

And what gets me is ALL of these dark-foreboding comments are from none other than, the WOMEN. The ones that used to be those little girls. Are you kidding me?!

What is it about us women where we feel the need...no, the desire...to wreck someone else's image, though delightfully skewed as it may very well be, of what it is like to raise girls. Do I look like I need to be 'clued in'? Am I walking around looking like I need to be enlightened of the trials of raising hormonally challenged children?! Because seriously, if that's the type of tutelage I receive, I'd much rather live in ignorance, thank you very much.

So here's the deal. If you see me in the local Walmart, trying desparately to distinguish between Charis's dialect of Whine vs. Selah's, please do not stop to instruct me on the virtues of having boys. Please do not stop to inform me that it only gets worse. Please do not try to confuse me by saying anything. If you must, you can pray. Silently. To yourself. But if the urge to open your mouth and be heard is too much to bear, by all means, please just look at me and say something that resembles a Hallmark card. Because I warn you. I'm not only bilingual. I, too, was given the download of WWF. Due in part to having an older brother. And I'm not afraid to use it.
And for the record, I LOVE having all girls. I'd take more of them if the Lord so chooses. ;)