The stain magnet

Okay, so I know that I recently stated that motherhood has no set rules. Well, I was wrong. There is one. One that I figure I had better share with the newer moms...just to save you money.

It's called the Law of Stains. Now rest assured that this has, by default, become a TIME tested theory in our home. Therefore, I have recently upgraded it to "law". And it is this: you can have ttwo pieces of girl's clothes. One piece is brand new with the tags still on. Obviously the other one is used. Yard sale. Hand-me-down. Whatever.

Your child could wear said piece of used clothes on any varying trip: trip to park, trek in jungle, it makes no matter. For it will not get stained. Yes, it may get a little dirty, but it will not stain. You could take a field trip to the local butcher shop, where they let you try out the hatchet (not that we've done that) and not one speck of blood will attach itself to your child's outfit. You could be eating the juiciest hot dog, smothered in all the gook that makes it a stain liability. YET, your child will come away from the table without so much as a mustard mark. And finally, they could be hugging all over your husband, who just happened to change the oil in the car. And, you guessed it, like water off a duck's back. That oil has no power. Because simply put, the clothes are U-S-E-D.

Now, take that new outfit out of the closet. Cut the tags off and almost instantaneously, it becomes magnetic. To every stain known to mankind.

We have such a piece of clothing. It's called the Sunday Dress. A very sacred piece of new clothing, at that. One bought for a particularly special day. A day where your entire family gathers together to celebrate and, at times, to mark the dress-up occasion with lots and lots of photos. Thus, outfit adornment, has become very important. Especially when you have three very adorable little girls.

So we dress our girls very carefully in their Sunday finery. Tying the bow just so. Fixing their hair perfectly. Ahh...so cute. And then we head out the door. And suddenly gravitational forces, outside of my control and definitely against my regimented get-ready schedule, go to work.

It rained the night before. So there are puddles. Everywhere. Steer clear, I say. Steer clear! Walking...walking. Shew. We made it. To the car. AHHH, NO! Don't lean up against the car! It's wet and dirty. That means mud. So now, mud smears the front of one dress.

*patience patience, Christin* Remember this is a day to glorify the Lord, not to get your girls a modeling career. Focus, focus... Thankfully, I come equipped with Shout Stain Wipes. And off the offending mark comes. In record time too, I might add. Point for Mom. Now, lets shove them in the car before something else happens.

We arrive at church. A relatively clean place, I'm sure. Where loads of other girls are wearing white and lace and bows. So cute.

It's when I go to pick up Charis (after Sunday school) that I see "the stain law" has once again pulled rank. For she has one very pink smear on her dress. Right in the front. Charis? "Oh...we had jello-jigglers for snack." Jello? Isn't that the stuff that teenagers use to DYE their hair? You know, the stuff that sort of sinks in and takes over a fabric or hair shaft? Perfect.

The moral of the story. Yard sale. Because apparently when someone else has worn the clothing...you know, sort of broke it in...stains become a thing of the past. Especially if the clothes already come with stains. You can be assured not one iota of stain will bother to hop aboard. I'm not really sure WHY this theory works. But trust me, it does.

Brain working....thought processes churning...

HEY! let's just say that I happen to lose perspective and buy another new Sunday dress, could I come to your house and have YOUR kid wear it for a while? Yeah, I know he's a boy and all, but really...we're friends. Help a girl out. Because that way, the clothes become used before my child wears them. Just please, whatever you do, make sure your child remains locked in a room without food, pens, ...nothing. Of course we also must make sure that they don't have a stomach bug or head cold of any kind.

Okay, on second thought...does anyone have a mannequin I can borrow?