A week ago was really rough; Selah was extremely sick. To the point that we were "this close" to taking her to the ER because she was unresponsive. Scared me to death. But one morning, she just woke up a completely different child. She even said, "My tummy says I'm hungry!" Made me smile.
It's times like these, times when my children experience pain and sickness, that I am so thankful that they are usually very healthy. I cannot fathom those parents that live day in and day out at the foot of a hospital bed. Or trying to talk their child into doing one more blood test. Or watching their child's hair fall out due to chemo. Just watching those info-mercials on St.Jude's Hospital patients brings me to tears. I can't imagine LIVING it.
I have a fierce faith in the Almighty. I've experienced him on a very personal level. I KNOW he is real. I KNOW he loves and heals. I've seen it with my own eyes. But when I hear about those children who suffer endlessly, there's a question that burns in my heart. Yet it remains on the outskirts of my mind because I'm not sure I want to ask it. I'm not sure I want to acknowledge that it's there, to have my voice breathe life into the doubts that linger behind it. But regardless of my outward acknowledgement, the question remains. Why, Lord? Why do you, seemingly, stand by and do nothing?
I know, this is a question that is asked around the world: If God is a loving God then why...? And I won't even pretend to have answers. There's no way that I can understand ALL the intricasies of the Lord's mind and purposes. But *lightbulb goes off* I DO understand the power of prayer. A gift that God has given us...to UTILIZE...to EMBRACE.
Yes Lord, you could intervene. You could snap your fingers and *bam* things would be fixed. But for some strangely profound reason you've left a lot of the power in your children's hands: the Church and their prayers. So Lord, give me the words, the fearlessness, the tenacity, the...whatever-it-takes to get over myself enough to trust you and pray for the sick. Boldly.
And I definitely don't just mean in church. I mean in places like WalMart...when I see a man in a wheelchair. Or in Costco when I watch a teenage boy holding his mother's hand because he is blind. Your Word says "Lay your hands on the sick and they will recover." So maybe the answer to some of the whys of all this senseless suffering is that we, the church, have our hands behind our back?
Refusing to reach out. Remaining inactive. Resting in personal comfort.
With everything in me, I don't want to be like that. Empower me Lord...to move outside of my comfort zone. So that you will be glorified. So that your healing will breakforth in this day.
Bottom line: I have a powerfully deep love for my children. I love them like words cannot capture. So if I love my children like that when I am completely void of unconditional love outside of Christ, how much more does Jesus love those sick children!? I mean, If my children were sick or dying, I would do anything to make sure they got better. So I can only assume that He feels the same way, times 1000.
Lord... I know you are all about love and healing. Enable me to see with your eyes and empower me to BE your hands. The ones that reach out, that comfort, that heal. Because I have to admit, I am heartbroken when I see a child suffer. And because of that, I believe that you've already given me your heart.
It's times like these, times when my children experience pain and sickness, that I am so thankful that they are usually very healthy. I cannot fathom those parents that live day in and day out at the foot of a hospital bed. Or trying to talk their child into doing one more blood test. Or watching their child's hair fall out due to chemo. Just watching those info-mercials on St.Jude's Hospital patients brings me to tears. I can't imagine LIVING it.
I have a fierce faith in the Almighty. I've experienced him on a very personal level. I KNOW he is real. I KNOW he loves and heals. I've seen it with my own eyes. But when I hear about those children who suffer endlessly, there's a question that burns in my heart. Yet it remains on the outskirts of my mind because I'm not sure I want to ask it. I'm not sure I want to acknowledge that it's there, to have my voice breathe life into the doubts that linger behind it. But regardless of my outward acknowledgement, the question remains. Why, Lord? Why do you, seemingly, stand by and do nothing?
I know, this is a question that is asked around the world: If God is a loving God then why...? And I won't even pretend to have answers. There's no way that I can understand ALL the intricasies of the Lord's mind and purposes. But *lightbulb goes off* I DO understand the power of prayer. A gift that God has given us...to UTILIZE...to EMBRACE.
Yes Lord, you could intervene. You could snap your fingers and *bam* things would be fixed. But for some strangely profound reason you've left a lot of the power in your children's hands: the Church and their prayers. So Lord, give me the words, the fearlessness, the tenacity, the...whatever-it-takes to get over myself enough to trust you and pray for the sick. Boldly.
And I definitely don't just mean in church. I mean in places like WalMart...when I see a man in a wheelchair. Or in Costco when I watch a teenage boy holding his mother's hand because he is blind. Your Word says "Lay your hands on the sick and they will recover." So maybe the answer to some of the whys of all this senseless suffering is that we, the church, have our hands behind our back?
Refusing to reach out. Remaining inactive. Resting in personal comfort.
With everything in me, I don't want to be like that. Empower me Lord...to move outside of my comfort zone. So that you will be glorified. So that your healing will breakforth in this day.
Bottom line: I have a powerfully deep love for my children. I love them like words cannot capture. So if I love my children like that when I am completely void of unconditional love outside of Christ, how much more does Jesus love those sick children!? I mean, If my children were sick or dying, I would do anything to make sure they got better. So I can only assume that He feels the same way, times 1000.
Lord... I know you are all about love and healing. Enable me to see with your eyes and empower me to BE your hands. The ones that reach out, that comfort, that heal. Because I have to admit, I am heartbroken when I see a child suffer. And because of that, I believe that you've already given me your heart.
1 comment:
Thanks for writing about such thought provoking things. I enjoy reading the fun stuff ... but it's great to really get inside someone's head too.
(:
Post a Comment