Have you ever just woken up, as a mother (as I know some of you are not) and said, "Who the heck am I??!" And I'm not referring to the sudden alien body that you've been fitted for (because I know this body is definitely not mine. I'm still holding out hope that the Mother Ship will come and return my stolen athletic form to me).
No, it's not the body that I'm referring to. I speak of greater things. I speak of...the brain. The sudden lack of intelligence. The sudden inability to speak in complete sentences because you spend your days hanging out with preschoolers. I mean I USED to be extremely smart. Graduated at a state university in the top 9%. And in under 4 years. Wrote papers that gained the notice and respect of my professors. Could debate, one on one, in a class of 300 for 15 minutes with a professor who was trying to play the devil's advocate in a philosophy and morality class. Ahh the glory days of my brain! Days gone by.
Because these days, I'm being outwitted by a 2 year old.
Allow me to explain: And the following must be read in the context of Whine. Remember, it's their choice of language. Especially in the heat of debate, where they can navigate their way through easier if they use a familiar lingo. Now I must specify that it's all in a subtle shade of whine. The kind where you're not sure if it really is a whine or just their cute, little girl voice, yet to mature. Because...this has to be said in order to preserve my mom dignity... if it's an obvious Whine dialect, I tell them outright. "I'm not talking to you while you whining. Get back to me when you're done."
Child: Mom! I want my cup.
Mother: Then go get it.
Child: NOOOOO...I don't want to go upstairs.
Mother: Then, you don't get to have your cup.
Child (with a bit of increased, and surprisingly controlled, intensity): BUTTTT, I want it .
Mother (with a bit of forced patience): Selah, honey...if you want the cup, it's upstairs in your bed. You can walk up and get it.
Child: But I'll be alone. I dont' want to go upstairs and get it all by myself.
THOUGHT: Now, THIS plays on the heartstrings of my mother's heart. I think, "Aww...she's not being defiant or stubborn. she's just scared to be alone. How can I fault her for that?"
Mother (with a renewed I'm-her-hero-attitude): Okay, honey. I have to go upstairs and get something from my room anyway. So I'll just go up in a minute and get it for you, alright?
She smiles (and most likely thinks "you fool").
Child: Thank you. (see, she's even being polite!)
Mother: Aww..you're welcome hon.
It's not until I'm half way up the stairs that I realize: she comes upstairs by herself all the time. SHE's the one that hides in the dark, by herself, for 10 minutes while I run through the house yelling "Selah, WHERE are you?!"
See. Dupped. And by a 2 year old. Ahhh, my college psychology professors would be so proud. Of HER.
3 comments:
so funny! I can relate; Lance now jokes around with me by talking vvveeerrrrry sllllowwwwly because apparently I've fallen off the intelligence and graceful wagon.
...Could it lack of sleep over a few years? I have never fallen asleep so suddenly and soundly as I have since Haven was born. My brain is desperate to recharge!
I'm with ya!
I read on another blog that it's so important for the mom, especially a homeschooling mom, to live an interesting life--learning new things, active, etc. This was written by a woman who is a lawyer, accomplished seamstress, cook, gardener, etc. She's really amazing.
I'm thinking, "I used to play the piano well. I used to sing in choirs. I used to lead an interesting, accomplished life. Would it work if I just let my boys watch the video from my senior recital and tell them I used to do all this great stuff???" :)
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