Busier in a "we do nothing" sort of way. Don't ask me how or why it feels busy when nothing seems to get accomplished. But nonetheless, everything just feels... "busy".
Following suit of the nothing gets done ideal, even now I'm wondering...did I brush my teeth? Did the girls?! ...If someone were to drop by would I scare them off? would I even be recognizable to them in my present sleep-deprived, hygiene-deficient state? or would they think that some crazy, unkempt woman had taken over my home?
Just questions that make you go Hmmm...but you hope to never have officially answered.
It's all worth it though. Because this little blessing is so so sweet. and incredibly laid-back!! Raegan stuck her finger down Lani's throat the other day. You know, just to thoroughly inspect her esophagus. And all Alana did was gag. she didn't cry. she didn't get mad. ??
She continues to have a look all her own! :) For those that have never seen my newborns, they come out with a head full of thick, black hair.
We're thinking she's a cross between my dad (who sported white-blond hair as a youngster)...and Jet's youngest brother, Isaac. Time will tell which direction her look chooses to go...
The biggest girls have been rolling with this whole change in our life. They're both very helpful, very loving, very much wanting yet another sister (or two) and aren't shy in informing me of such. No pressure, eh? :)
Almost as soon as we came home from the hospital, Selah wanted to watch home videos of herself when she was a baby. The picture below is of the girls discussing how HUGE Selah's cheeks were when she was a few months old. :)
yes, they're in their pajamas. yes, Selah's pajama bottoms don't match her top. but at least they were dressed, eh?
Notice the look on Selah's face? kind of like she's not sure what emotion to show.
...I think she's had some emotional processing going on, as she tries to find her "place" in the newest arrangement of four girls.
She's recently been comparing herself a lot to Charis and deeming herself coming up short. She'll get upset over the smallest things (though she tries to hide it)...and wants a lot of cuddle time. I'm trying to be sensitive to what she may be feeling, as she's one that doesn't express it verbally.
My heart goes out to her: She isn't the oldest (ie. the "best" at everything). and she isn't the youngest. I can imagine her feeling to be "what role DO I play in this house?"
She said something the other day to the extent of how she could make Raegan happy when Raegan was being a minor "terror". Something in me rose up and I said, "Selah...that is NOT your job. You don't have to make everybody happy, okay?!"
I so do not wanting that to become her identity during this crazy season of adjustment. And will do just about anything to insure that it doesn't happen.
Apparently this go round of adding a new baby has caused more than one little girlie to question herself. Because even Charis said that she's wishes she were still "that little" as she watched herself as a baby on a home video.
My heartfelt prayers beat on the doors of Heaven to give me supernatural wisdom as I now mother four girls. each with their own personality. their own needs. their own weaknesses and strengths. and each trying to find themselves in a houseful of sisters. God, help me.
On October 1st, Charis turned 6 years old. She was THRILLLLLLLED! And I was exhausted, knowing I faced a day where she anticipated tons of "special things."
First thing she wanted to do was go downstairs and measure herself, as she was sure she had grown "lots" in the middle of the night. :)
All day long she was asking "what can we do now?" Honestly I felt so torn. Selah was having a bit of an emotional day. Raegan was just plain needy. Alana wanted to eat non-stop. And I...well, I was just missing my husband and the sleep I used to get. ;)
Thank the Good Lord for my parents, who came and took the two oldest girls out for dinner and to pick up their present for her (a big climbing wall for our backyard playground). Because I just didn't have it in me to make it a *fun* day for her. Hopefully her party tomorrow will be what she remembers when she looks back on her 6th birthday.
The girls making birthday cupcakes together at their school table...
Raegan loves her sister. violently. :) She loves inspecting any and every part of her. Especially the parts where poking and prodding cause pain: mouth, eyes, nose. Thankfully, Lani doesn't seem too bothered by it. Because I'm thinking it's near impossible to keep this big sister away from her new baby!
We call her "Raegan's Baby"...which seemed to help the overall adjustment period. For Raegan now claims any and all rights to this new baby sister.
With only 18 months between them, I'm thinking they have many good times ahead!
...A friend and I were talking today about how she grew up in a family of four kids. She said she didn't know how her mom did it, but she definitely had fun.
Yep, I have to agree. Though I LOVE being a mom, this craziness is for the girls. the gaining and losing of pregnancy weight. all the sleep-deprived nights. the learning to effectively parent lots of children while maintaining levels of sanity. ...It's all of it is for the purpose of leaving behind a lasting legacy for my children.
A close knit family. A lifelong support group.
