Sugar and Spice. Or something like that.

Selah is my delicate flower of a girl as can be seen here and here. (Note the sarcasm)

A few days ago, she was trying tomato juice for the first time. "Ew. THis looks like spit up!" (her word for vomit)

But she kept right on drinking. at least for a few more sips. Apparently she isn't too put off by all things Nasty.

Take for instance, this picture of her bird...complete with pee and poop dropping down to the ground.

Does a mother proud.

For Memory Sake

Not sure of all the reasons, but ClusterMap has restarted my Reader Location Map, erasing all the old dots.

They allowed me to retrieve the old one, so this is for memory sake. So I can look back and see all the people that I've been able to connect with in some form over the last year.

Encouragement from the Father

As I read this morning from the book of Exodus, the Lord spoke peace to my heart...

The girls and I were reading about the plagues that God sent upon Egypt while the Israelites were in captivity. and I came to the next to the last plague.

Three days of darkness.

"So Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven, and there was thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days. They did not see one another, nor did any rise from his place for three days. But all the people of Israel had light where they dwelt." Exodus 10:22-23.

I hadn't been thinking about the economy. Honestly, I haven't been worrying about it either. But just like that, I felt in my spirit that everything was going to be alright. that regardless of what others may experience...what darkness may envelope their lives...God would keep the places where we dwelt safe. miraculously unaffected.

And though, by logical standards, it makes no sense...I will trust. For "Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalms 119:105

Sisterhood Revamped

When Alana was born, we had to switch the girls' car seating arrangement around. Charis came up to the second row beside Alana. Raegan went to join Selah in the back.

This act alone has brought about such a sweetness in Raegan's actions towards Selah.

While Raegan used to target Selah with hit-and-run acts of petty violence, she now loves on her whenever she gets the chance. obviously feeling like an equal who is no longer left out of the Big Girl stuff. and gets special time with her big sister...

in the backseat. riding side by side.

It harms my heart every time I see it.

I'm in-love

... with an 11+pound almost 6-week old.

Breaking down the wall

A month into this "Year Of Favor" and I can already see what a weak prayer warrior I'm turning out to be.

Alright, Lord. I'm so not seeing your favor. If anything, there are some arenas where we're seeing the exact opposite. Specific areas that you have challenged me to believe you for. What gives?

I hate to say it, but I'm about done, Lord. Enough of this dedicated prayer. I've given you more than ample time to answer. I mean, hello! It's already been a 47 days. And last I checked, it only took you 7 to create everything I see. So uh, couldn't you work like that again? quick. swift. and complete!

I'm thinking if you're not going to do your part, I'm more than willing to not do mine. because honestly, I'm tired of asking. I'm tired of walking this faith walk. It can be exhausting, you know. And what if you don't want to breakthrough for me anyway? Then it's all a waste of time. who knows, maybe I'm even annoying you with my requests.

Yes, I realize this mindset stinks. In fact, I'd say that's an understatement. And while I don't reside in that hopeless state, it's honestly where my heart has ventured from time to time. going from feeling a complete peace in approaching the Throne of God to struggling with guilt and greed for even daring to draw near.

The mind is the hardest battle to war, I'm convinced of it.

Well...this week has been one where I haven't wanted to press through. I'm just tired. emotionally, spiritually, and most definitely physically (with Alana not sleeping well due to a cold). To top it off, I haven't really heard the Lord say anything. Not that I've given him a whole lot of "down" time to speak. *sigh*

But then

I had this conversation with my 4 year old this morning. And through my own words, the Lord spoke encouragement to my own heart. and *Life* to my resolve in pressing in and believing the Lord for what he has promised me and my family during the next season. regardless of what I'm currently seeing.

Selah: Why do you wear glasses?

Me: So I can see better. We should pray and ask Jesus to heal my eyes.

Selah: We already did that.

Me: Well, sometimes we just have to keep praying.

Selah: Why?

Me: Well...it's like there's a wall in the spirit realm....a wall that we can't see. But it can keep God's promises and his provisions from coming through. So our prayers act as a hammer. pounding away on the wall. causing it to become weaker until finally, it falls down. And then, God's will can come through.

Still Me: You know how when you hit a nail... you don't hit in only once, do you? No. You hit it as many times as you need to in order to get the nail in all the way. Right? Well, that's exactly how it can be with prayers. You just keep praying until you see the results.

As soon as I finished speaking these words to my daughter, I immediately felt the Lord say something to the extent of "Uh-huh. Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

Yep. He speaks something akin to inner city gangsta talk when addressing me. We be tight like dat. *grin*

And just like that, I knew he wasn't annoyed. neither by my asking nor my difficulty in coming to a place of solid Faith Footing.

And suddenly my plans of leisure for tonight change. For Jet and I will be pressing in as a couple. Taking out our Prayer Hammers and beating the snot out of that wall.

You know, in keeping with the gangsta talk and all.

Weekend Visit

One of the many things that I love about family....

The Cousins.

On Jet's side, there are 12 grandchildren aged 7 and under. And my girls L-O-V-E it. They love all things "cousins". The above picture was taken after our motley crew had been outside for hours.

Digging in the dirt. Building forts near the woods. Riding bareback on horses. Playing with the water hose. All things dirty.

So they looked pretty haggard. :) But man, did they have fun!

Life after baby

You know what I don't understand? The word grungy. grunge.

Webster defines it as: shabby or dirty in character or condition

Okay. So I get that. In fact, I've been living it like I own it.

I've been sporting the unshaved, hygiene-deficient, bed-head look for weeks now. All while flaunting my chic and stylish Wal-mart sweats. complete with paint smears from two houses ago. and a hole in the crotch.

I am wearing no make up. and glasses. I'm lucky to have brushed my teeth. and my stylin' hairdo...cut only a few short weeks ago...has been shamed by a hot pink kid's ponytail holder. to keep the long bangs from my eyes. Since you all know I haven't even bothered with gel.

Well, here I am thinking how horribly horrid I've been looking. living quite comfortably in the world of Grunge. residing way outside the realm of sexy. more like on the extreme side of homely.

And you know what? Hollywood dares to tell me that Grunge is the new sexy.

News to me.

But let me tell you...somehow I'm thinking her high heels don't quite fit the part. at least not the part of grunge I've been playing.

Come to think of it, I don't remember ever throwing on anything that remotely resembles what that chick is wearing. ...Though i have to admit, I'm sure I could go toe to toe with her when it comes to the dark circles we both got going on under the eye.

At least hers wipes off.

But I'm thinking if grungy IS the new sexy, my husband has so got to be the luckiest man on earth. Maybe I should clue him in. You think?

Here comes the bride

Charis...6 years

I've written recently about Charis's first little crush. At least the one that she told me about.

Well...we were talking about this little guy (Caleb) the other day. And she said that she might marry him.

Now, I know better than to correct her or act all surprised or laugh at her. From personal experience as a 6 year old, I know these things can and will cease her from every confiding in me again.

As we talked, I said "You know it's good to be..."

To which she promptly interrupted me and impatiently stated "...be friends before you get married. I already know Mommy!"

Apparently we've had this discussion before.

But then with a sheepish look on her face, she looks to the floor and states, "But if God wants him to be my husband, that's okay too."

Loved

She's such the little ball of sweetness...

And high energy!

Whenever you pull out a camera, she's all about hamming it up.



I really can't imagine our day without her cute little self running through the house, trying to be so big, and yet wanting to still be the baby.

The joy she's brought to this household is a thing that cannot be put to words.

I can only say that I can't comprehend life without her. My adorable ball of energy. sweetness. and spunk. All round into one little 19 month old.

Things she's saying recently started to say these days:

Excuse me

Awesome

Cool!

Ouchie. Kiss it?

I sorry.

I love you.

Ray-ga No! Be sweet! (she started saying this right after Alana was born. She would correct herself a lot. Tell herself that she was bad. We upped the affirmation 100-fold)

I Coming!

this and that.

A few life lessons learned:


Lesson #1. Clean today, Gone tomorrow.


This here pile of shoes mysteriously appeared the day after the house was spotless. I gathered them from every corner of the first floor. Sad part...this picture doesn't show them all. I overlooked a couple.

I like to call it my own personal *Big Bang Theory*: My house was clean...and then *bang* it wasn't. Quite scientific, this theory is.


Well, I was discussing this rather remarkable phenomenom with a friend. Telling her how little elves obviously come into my home when I'm sleeping or out of the house...throwing everything that's not nailed down all over the floors.


Hours later, when I was asking the girls to clean up their stuff before Video Time, Charis made a comment that took me a second to register: "We're good elves, aren't we?"



Life Lesson #2: Never assume that your phone conversations are private.

Children have remarkably good hearing when it comes to conversations you're having with others. especially when the phone is involved.

And for the record, I was not referring to my children when mentioning those Mysterious Elves. though I have to say, it does make sense. :)

Nothing more attractive

...than a man's man lovin' on his child.

Metaphorically speaking?

Last weekend, I mowed. But that may seem inconsequential if I leave out a minor detail...

We have a doberman. A fairly large one. In fact, he's been referred to as a small horse. with large teeth.

I love our large dog. I love that he scares off people from entering the yard. I love that the first question strangers ask when they come onto our porch is "Uh, can he get up here?" and "Is he mean?"

Why I don't know, Strange-Man-on-my-property. Does he need to be? :)

I love that he has taken on the role of sole protector when the girls are out playing by themselves. even if that only means getting all nasty about a bird-of-prey flying overhead. Yes, he is that protective.

I love that he comes inside and hangs out with me on the nights when Jet is away, becoming my snugglebug and Smith&Wesson all in one. I love that he is gentle with all things under 4 feet tall. yet can tear the limbs off of an intruder without breaking a sweat.

He's our own personal army of one. And I love him.

Has that been established enough? Because what I'm about to say causes even me and my love of him to question the wisdom in keeping such a large dog around.

For where there is Large Dog. There is Large Poop.

And now, back to the mowing part.... :)

Everything was going fine in my Keeper of the Grounds moment, until I hit his section of the yard. And then it became like a land mine. of crap.

And suddenly my determined, focused mowing became hesitant. unsure. mysterious. (what will be under this blade of grass, I wonder.)

Progress slowed down because I had to take into consideration that if I made one wrong move. one mistaken step. my shoes would become ...shall we say... "tainted".

So while I'm carefully maneuvering the pushmower, making sure that my feet stay clean, the wheels of the mower plow right through a large mound. slathering the disgusting mess all over one wheel. rather effectively causing the stench (and not to mention nasty view) of dog-mess to accompany me wherever I went.

And as I mumbled under my breath, contemplating what life would be like were we suddenly less one large-dog-with-an-obviously-healthy-digestive-system, God spoke up.

Like he does in moments like these. *rolling my eyes*

And just like...*snap*...that, my inner thoughts take a turn. For I am annoyingly "gifted" with the ability to find a metaphor in all things random. Or at least God is gifted with such metaphors and seemingly finds it necessary to share this particular knowledge with me.

At times I stand in awe of this creative gifting. Other times...like this one... I just roll my eyes and shout heavenward "For real, God?! You're showing me a metaphor about poop? Come on!"


.....
Lovely Little Poop Metaphor:

The church is like this. We are a large body of people. imperfect people who tend to leave large messes in our wake. And it's the *crap* that causes other believers to forget their love of each other, contemplating what church life would be like without a certain individual...or three.

There are people who, though we profess to love them...even if just by Christian association alone... tend to follow us around with their stench and mess. forcing our walk with God to become slower, as we try to avoid stepping in something that would take time to "clean up".

Because really, Smelly Person. I'm doing a job here. Got this bit of property I've been asked to tend by the Owner. He's entrusted this section of land to me and well, you're in the way. Yeah, I know you came with the property and all. But...well, it'd be so much faster. so much easier. and most assuredly less raunchy if you and your crap would just vacate the premises and let me work in peace.

In this attitude, it's so easy to completely forget that those Stinky, Inconvenient People are a part of the Army of God. the very people God has positioned to keep us company. to have our back when predators come near. to go to war with us when danger is at hand.

Forgetting all these things and instead getting distracted by the mound of stench that's on the bottom of our once-pristine shoe.

Bottom line of this analogy? I need to remember that shit happens. even in the church. and most assuredly in my own life.

And my job is to adopt the point of view of the Father. the Keeper of the Garden that uses our smelly, dirty mess like much-needed fertilizer. causing me to grow.
...

Anyway. :)

I'm willing to bet that when I first mentioned mowing, large Dog, and large poop...you didn't see this one coming. I know I didn't. but eh, that's the fun we "get" to have when relating to The man. He's a funny one, that Jesus.

The Pumpkin Patch

We finally made it to the Pumpkin Patch today...something the girls have looked forward to since last year.

I love pictures like these. Pictures that show their varying sizes as they walk hand-in-hand. I so wish I could find the one of last year for comparison. And next year, we'll be adding yet another little girly's gait.




And pictures like these that show how very big my oldest has gotten. She proclaimed herself quite capable, thankyoumuch, to not only pick out her own pumpkin... BY HERSELF... but carry it as well.

Meanwhile, my very active 19-month old decided the pumpkin (which she called apples) weren't as interesting as this here weed. It entertained her for a long time.

Approximately 1 minute 2 seconds. A new record.

We tried to get the biggest girls all together for a group photo.

But Raegan wanted nothing to do with it. So I enlisted Daddy's help to strong arm her...

Just kindly overlook the small bruise she has on her ribcage. But all that matters, in the end, is that daddy's deathgrip kept her in place. And now we have a lovely little picture for all to enjoy.

Kidding about the bruise for all you who are unable to read sarcasm in black-and-white. *wink*

And then came my turn. I tried to hold her down. But all it got me was a picture where I am laughing like a hyena and Raegan's face is contorted in toddler-protest. But notice how poised my Charis is. *laughing*

Raegan ran away...

The big girls squeezing their faces into the pumpkin face before we threw them into the car. It was FREEZING and extremely windy! (consequently that night was the first Freeze Warning of the season)

Short little Raegan. Not to be out-done by her taller sisters.
A fun time was had by all.

Now to find the time to manhandle a machete so we can carve the beasties up. all while holding a newborn. and wrestling with an upset toddler because she can't hold the knife.

I foresee good times ahead.

Measuring... Up?

For the past few days, I had been noticing something different about Jet. to the point that every time I looked at him, I was overwhelmed with how attractive he is. :)

Now don't get me wrong. On any given day, I think my My Man is pretty smokin'.

But you know how it is when someone gets a new haircut and they just look different? Well, it was like that. There was just something different about him, though nothing overtly obvious.

Just enough of a little sumpin' that I could only sit and stare. taking in the hubby eye candy. heh heh

Well, Friday night was no different. I found myself just watching him move around the room. completely marveling in how attracted I was to this man. When suddenly, I had to ask:

"Jet, have you grown?"

Now obviously I didn't expect a 32 year-old man to say "Why yes. Yes, I have." In fact, I think I rather shocked myself to have thought such a random thing.

But still, I couldn't help myself. The question had to be asked. If nothing else, just to verbalize what suddenly occurred to me as I looked at him.

He looked undeniably taller.

Turning to face me, he looked at me like I had two heads. And though he didn't say it out loud, I'm sure he was thinking something akin to "Poor woman. You've been cooped up far too long with preschool midgets."

Instead he said the obvious answer. Uh, no.

"Well, tomorrow I'm going to measure you." For some reason, I couldn't back down.

Well, not that I ever back down. But that's another story. :)

The next morning (Saturday), as I watched him play with the girls, something else stood out to me. He was broader. I was sure of it. But having no recorded measurement of his shoulder width in which to compare...cause really, who measures that stuff?... I suddenly remembered his height.

Sweet! Let's see if there's anything to this random question that flew out of my mouth last night!

"Alrighty Jet...it's Measuring Time!"

Backing him up to the wall, I marked the top of his head, pressing my finger against the numbers. Stepping back, he looked to where my finger was, saying..."See, exactly 5 foot 10. Just like always."

"And a half." I corrected him, moving my fat ol' thumb to point the exact spot where he came to.

...I can't remember everything that happened in the moments that followed, though I'm sure it was a comical sight. At least from the Heavenly Throne Room. Where I know the Lord, all pleased with His Bad ol' Self, was smiling at our discovery.

Jet had grown exactly a half inch.

We measured three different times. in different places around the house. just because. I even pushed down his hair with the ruler to make sure that that wasn't given him any additional height. I was pushing so hard, I think I left an indention in his scalp. *whoops*

Trust me, we wanted to make sure of the validity of our little discovery. And each time it came back that he had grown exactly one-half inch. to the mark.

Sometime later, we were talking about the significance of it...the random favor all over it...the complete craziness of it. when God showed me a scripture to display the prophetic symbolism behind it.

"And he increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and with man." Luke 2:52

The Lord, in a very intimate way, was showing both of us that His hand of favor is upon Jet. that he is growing in both wisdom and in favor. and even a little "stature" to boot.

Obviously it's very much a God-thing. Because really, who notices a 1/2 inch of growth like it's a marked difference?!! Even now, days later, I have to wonder what it was that I noticed. how in the world I could tell that he was taller?!

It just has to be the Lord. He caused me to see it...so that we would know what He had done...so that we would know that He was on the move, causing a stirring in our lives.

I have to admit, the whole thing just revved up our expectation for the things of Favor to come. Because even though Jet has always wanted to be a little taller, it obviously wasn't something he was asking for. God just threw that in for the sheer fun of it.

Because He's like that.

Favor

A few weeks ago, a prophetic word was spoken over our church body by Graham Cooke, an international speaker gifted in the prophetic. I won't go into who he is...because his identity isn't really important. He was just the messenger.

But its the message that continues to weigh on my spirit. It was one of favor. A year of unprecedented favor on our lives. Unmeasurable, unparalleled favor. A year where we learn to walk in the continual favor the Lord offers his Body.

I could write pages and pages on the prophetic word alone. but I can't. My spirit is too overwhelmed with all that it implies that I can't bring myself to write more than this:

God's favor has already begun to hit our home. He has already begun to change our lives. Turning them, literally, upside down. completely changing the plans that Jet and I were pursuing for the next few years. and showing that he has more options for our lives than we were even considering.

Over and over and over again, he surprises us with the things he's said and done. And it's those things that I hope to document over the coming months.

But for now, I just proclaim to heaven and earth that the Favor of the Lord has hit our church. and our home.

Peek-a-boo

As I was working in the yard, jamming out to Misty Edwards on the MP3, I distinctly heard the Lord say:

"I'm getting ready to take you out of hiding."

The instant God spoke, my body physically manifested. like the weightiness of the statement was hitting me. Meaning my head spontaneously reacted as if someone had just pushed it. Kind of like I just walked into an angelic wall. The moment was that intense.

Have I been in hiding, you ask?

No. not really. But I do feel that Jet and I have been in a season where God has had us hidden under the shadow of his wing. an intimate place where it's only been about our family and our relationship with God. I'm thinking he means to alter that soon.

About 5 minutes later, he spoke again:

"Your home will be like an Open House."

And I saw, in the spirit, floods of people going in one door and out another. It struck me how they weren't remaining in our home. They were just coming in, getting blessed, and heading out.
Hopefully changed. Hopefully healed.

Something that I've been praying for ...for the past year or so...has been that our home would be a place where the Spirit of God is so thick that people only have to walk in the door to receive healing.

And though the vision didn't reveal whether the people leaving my home were healed or changed, I believe they will be. for the Glory of God.

For I can't imagine that He'd have it any other way.

Just wondering.

Should I be disgusted or excited that my 18 month-old daughter has figured out how to get herself a drink of water without my help?

Out of the dog's water bowl.

Slurping it from a spoon she somehow retrieved, by herself, from the kitchen drawer.

asd;lfkj

Moving, moving. Always moving. And, I might add, rarely sleeping... when teething six (or so) teeth.

Whoever said being a stay-at-home mom was a "cakewalk" needs to be stranded on a desert island with three preschoolers. For fifteen minutes. tops.

I would have said Needs to be stranded in the candy aisle at the local supermarket.

But hey. I have compassion.

I confess...

I am completely incapable of doing it all.

Why this comes as a shock is beyond me. Yet. it does. Because inevitably, I feel a sense of weighty guilt when I render myself ridiculously inept...

...because I simply cannot simultaneously nurse a newborn. open an 18 month old's death grip on the dirty diaper she retrieved from the trash can. comfort a 4 year old's delicate emotional balance. and home school an advanced 1st grader who wants to learn about things in which I have no clue.

ALL while wearing my starched Betty Crocker apron, masterfully whipping up some healthy 5-course meal for my entire extended family that only cost $2.32. Total.

Again, I scream: I Can't do it.

And then add in the fact that I am well-aware that other homeschooling moms are seemingly quite capable of successfully juggling more children. more outdoor field trips. more school subjects (like Latin for crying out loud!).

All while spending only $150 month on food...for a family of 8. interviewing Ivy League schools for their preschooler. and maintaining good hygiene practices AND impeccably clean toilets.

It's that last one that particularly has my head in a bind. personal hygiene AND clean toilets. Who knew.

And though it may sound silly to read, I find myself seriously battling these thoughts. Thoughts of how every other mom I know does it better. and then some.

Questions swirl around in my head. mocking me with their persuasive proof-positive that all my attempts fall short in light of so-and-so.

Why can't I just have it all together like ____? or have children who do things like _____? or be a whiz of a chef where I can feed my small brood for next to nothing? OR single handedly start an at-home business that grosses more money than any top-level exec? ...all while maintaining sanity and quality of life that yields contentment. and not ulcers.

Surely that's not too much to ask.

But the truth is irrefutable. I cannot do it all. and do it well. This frustrates my high-powered multitasking gene.

So today I find myself...yet again.... Processing.

Processing what it takes to do this God-given job WELL. to victoriously inhabit this land of Stay-at-home home-schooling Mom. A land where the only one writing out the current list of expectations is none other than...Me.

I'm thinking I need to go read the Business Manual for Mothers, Inc.

The Bible.

Because I need to (yet again) reevaluate. renew my mind. and find a solid understanding of what my life should (or rather *Gets To*) look like in this season of mothering.

My Clan of Girls

Can you believe it?! I actually got a picture of all four girls together? Of course, Alana appears to be less-than-thrilled. But eh. I figure that's probably par for the course. as someone has to be sporting that look when Mom is armed with camera, right? :)

Even so, I think they're an adorable posse of girls!! I'm excited to get pictures of them together at their different growing up stages. Can you even imagine how cute that'll be?

Yes. I am biased. and gushing shamelessly.

This one's got fire in her eyes. You see it? If not, stick around her long enough. because you'll not only see it and hear it... you'll feel it. She's got enough spunk for three little bitties.

Selah has been going through a stage where she doesn't like for me to take pictures of her. I remember Charis going through it. And then one day *bam* Charis woke up and declared her self camera-ready at ALL times of the day and night. So I know that Selah's new season of "camera shy" won't remain for long.

Especially when she sat herself down by Alana and said, "Take a picture of me."

SURE I will! Stay. Right. There!" And voila! A beautiful picture of my two girls. Classic.

The ins and outs of our days...

Life has gotten busier with the addition of our little bitty.

Busier in a "we do nothing" sort of way. Don't ask me how or why it feels busy when nothing seems to get accomplished. But nonetheless, everything just feels... "busy".

Following suit of the nothing gets done ideal, even now I'm wondering...did I brush my teeth? Did the girls?! ...If someone were to drop by would I scare them off? would I even be recognizable to them in my present sleep-deprived, hygiene-deficient state? or would they think that some crazy, unkempt woman had taken over my home?

Just questions that make you go Hmmm...but you hope to never have officially answered.

It's all worth it though. Because this little blessing is so so sweet. and incredibly laid-back!! Raegan stuck her finger down Lani's throat the other day. You know, just to thoroughly inspect her esophagus. And all Alana did was gag. she didn't cry. she didn't get mad. ??




She continues to have a look all her own! :) For those that have never seen my newborns, they come out with a head full of thick, black hair.

We're thinking she's a cross between my dad (who sported white-blond hair as a youngster)...and Jet's youngest brother, Isaac. Time will tell which direction her look chooses to go...

The biggest girls have been rolling with this whole change in our life. They're both very helpful, very loving, very much wanting yet another sister (or two) and aren't shy in informing me of such. No pressure, eh? :)

Almost as soon as we came home from the hospital, Selah wanted to watch home videos of herself when she was a baby. The picture below is of the girls discussing how HUGE Selah's cheeks were when she was a few months old. :)

yes, they're in their pajamas. yes, Selah's pajama bottoms don't match her top. but at least they were dressed, eh?


Notice the look on Selah's face? kind of like she's not sure what emotion to show.

...I think she's had some emotional processing going on, as she tries to find her "place" in the newest arrangement of four girls.

She's recently been comparing herself a lot to Charis and deeming herself coming up short. She'll get upset over the smallest things (though she tries to hide it)...and wants a lot of cuddle time. I'm trying to be sensitive to what she may be feeling, as she's one that doesn't express it verbally.

My heart goes out to her: She isn't the oldest (ie. the "best" at everything). and she isn't the youngest. I can imagine her feeling to be "what role DO I play in this house?"

She said something the other day to the extent of how she could make Raegan happy when Raegan was being a minor "terror". Something in me rose up and I said, "Selah...that is NOT your job. You don't have to make everybody happy, okay?!"

I so do not wanting that to become her identity during this crazy season of adjustment. And will do just about anything to insure that it doesn't happen.

Apparently this go round of adding a new baby has caused more than one little girlie to question herself. Because even Charis said that she's wishes she were still "that little" as she watched herself as a baby on a home video.

My heartfelt prayers beat on the doors of Heaven to give me supernatural wisdom as I now mother four girls. each with their own personality. their own needs. their own weaknesses and strengths. and each trying to find themselves in a houseful of sisters. God, help me.

On October 1st, Charis turned 6 years old. She was THRILLLLLLLED! And I was exhausted, knowing I faced a day where she anticipated tons of "special things."

First thing she wanted to do was go downstairs and measure herself, as she was sure she had grown "lots" in the middle of the night. :)

All day long she was asking "what can we do now?" Honestly I felt so torn. Selah was having a bit of an emotional day. Raegan was just plain needy. Alana wanted to eat non-stop. And I...well, I was just missing my husband and the sleep I used to get. ;)

Thank the Good Lord for my parents, who came and took the two oldest girls out for dinner and to pick up their present for her (a big climbing wall for our backyard playground). Because I just didn't have it in me to make it a *fun* day for her. Hopefully her party tomorrow will be what she remembers when she looks back on her 6th birthday.

The girls making birthday cupcakes together at their school table...

Raegan loves her sister. violently. :) She loves inspecting any and every part of her. Especially the parts where poking and prodding cause pain: mouth, eyes, nose. Thankfully, Lani doesn't seem too bothered by it. Because I'm thinking it's near impossible to keep this big sister away from her new baby!

We call her "Raegan's Baby"...which seemed to help the overall adjustment period. For Raegan now claims any and all rights to this new baby sister.

With only 18 months between them, I'm thinking they have many good times ahead!

...A friend and I were talking today about how she grew up in a family of four kids. She said she didn't know how her mom did it, but she definitely had fun.

Yep, I have to agree. Though I LOVE being a mom, this craziness is for the girls. the gaining and losing of pregnancy weight. all the sleep-deprived nights. the learning to effectively parent lots of children while maintaining levels of sanity. ...It's all of it is for the purpose of leaving behind a lasting legacy for my children.

A close knit family. A lifelong support group.

Just because it made me laugh

Selah: How much of your belly do you have left?

Me: Oh, not much.

Charis: It's going away really fast this time. With Raegan, you had to be on the treamil for your belly to go away. It took a long time to get rid of it then, huh?


Seriously. Nothing gets by children, does it?

Well...I take that back. because obviously it didn't register that I was hard at work on the treadmil way back when. and not just standing on it.