A Stirring in my soul...like a pebble thrown into the waters

Do you ever just get the sense that God has you in the process of being chiseled? Actually, I guess that's the wrong word. Because, to me, that sounds painful. Traumatic. Gorey, even. And that's not what I mean.

I've sat here a while and come up with the conclusion that I lack the word to describe his gentle, yet intense method. All I know is what I feel.

Emotions are being carved...deepened. Like He's taking the shallow waters and causing them to have Ocean Depths. Places that have laid dormant in my heart... whether from my own "walling over" or because timing has never allowed them to come forth...they are now erupting from within. Like volcanoes that have suddenly come out of dormancy. My senses are being heightened. My walls are coming down. My ability to remain indifferent is fast losing all footing.

That is where I find myself. That is what's taking place in me.

I cannot explain it. I'm not sure that I want to try. All I know is that the Lord's heartbeat echoes inside of me. I feel it. Though I lack the words to contain it.

"Can you find out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty? It is higher than heaven--what can you do? It is deeper than Sheol--what can you know?" Job 11:7-8

I'm finding I've been doing a lot of crying recently. And not because I'm sad. But just because of the intensity of feeling. Does that make sense? No. I doubt it can on paper alone. But it remains Truth. The mysterious kind that go deeper than the English language....that reveals the limitations of my mind.

As I read people's blog about the love they have for their husband...or the relationship they have with their daughters... Or as I watch Mercy Me's video "I can only imagine".... Or watch people whole-heartedly, unabashedly worshipping before God... Sobs well up from deep inside me. I am filled with an intensity of feeling that I cannot explain, except to assume that it's the Heartbeat of God. That I am getting the priviledge of feeling an iota of the love and emotion He has for His people. For me. For the things He's getting ready to do.

There's an expectancy in me that is becoming more and more intense. My heart cries out, Lord, what are you wanting to do? I desire to position myself to receive his Outpouring. to position myself to honor Him alone.

And I have to wonder. God, how is it that You are able to remain veiled? I know you have to be exercising some major self-control to not just *Break Out* and pour our your Presence. I have to assume you are MORE "antsy" to reveal Yourself than we are to experience you on a new level.

I've prayed and seen the lame get up and walk.

I've prayed and watched as an huge, infected boil disappeared right before my eyes.

I've experienced You, Lord. I've seen, with my natural eyes, You move on a real and personal level.

And yet...I sense that You have something more around the corner. I sense that you are preparing me...expanding and strengthening my heart...so that I can receive the depth and the height and the wonder of what it is that you are wanting to do. I can only assume that you are preparing the entire Body (church).

An explosion is taking place in my heart. I'm so curious to see what's happening in Yours, Lord.

"...that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fulness of God. Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, to him be glory..." Ephesians 3:18-21

Deepen us, Lord. And then fill us to capacity. Not simply for us to remain full. But so that we can spill over on those around us. So that you may be Glorified on this earth. ...as it is in Heaven.