Even all of our back-up plans were fast being eliminated: Our library didn't open until noon, and it was nine. I couldn't foresee a trip to the park with Raegan because she'd been fussy/teething. Not to mention, it was very muggy. And I didn't want to just call a friend up and say "Uh. I'm dropping by. In five minutes." Because my girls were wanting something special. Not rushed.
So as my girls stood anxiously by the door, packed and ready to leave...I call up my mom. Ah, these are the moments that I love having my family so close by. (Yes, there are other moments, Mom. This just was one of them). Off to Grandma's house we go. The girls were thrilled! ;)
During the drive, I started to pray for two married friends of mine. And I loved it! I don't get very much time to just pray "by myself". To hear the sound of my voice as I cry out to God. Yes, the girls were in the backseat, but they were busy making up songs about Jesus. Loud ones. So...it felt like alone time. Me in the front seat. By myself. Praying outloud for friends. And suddenly, my prayers shifted. I began to lift up the future husbands of my little girls.
I can't explain it, but something in me "clicked". Yes, I've always known that these little girls would soon grow up...
...would soon be at the very doorstep of the Life Seasons that don't feel that far behind me: boys, sports, clothes, dances...Getting dressed up for real.
But for some reason, that far-off fact simply hit home in my heart. It became reality to me as I drove down the road praying for little boys. Unknown to me now but still very much alive. Out there, preparing to become the men that would love my daughters.
I prayed for my girls' confidence levels. That they would be girls who wouldn't have to share bits and pieces of their heart to just anybody in order to feel important. That they would be drawn to the idea of holding out for one man. And that the little boys out there would have a deep conviction, even at a young age, to wait for the time when they would meet and marry my little girls.
On and on I prayed. As thoughts and feelings rushed my heart, I handed them over to God to store up until the perfect time.
And I realized something. I love being the one that gets to watch them grow up. Yes, I already knew that. But it was as if every desire to do something else outside of the home vanished. *like that*
I want to dedicate my life to ensuring that my little girls DO have a rock solid foundation of self-esteem. I want to be their Mom. Nothing more. Nothing less. Yes, I want to be Jet's wife. That's a given....he a part of me. But it's... different. I can't explain it. If you're a parent, I don't have to. All I can say is I want to dedicate my life to deepening. expanding. strengthening the lives and hearts of my little girls.
People sometimes ask me what I do for a living. And then, they add on the "Or are you just a mom?" Yeah. But I am ever-so-content at "just" being a mom.
1 comment:
"Just a mom?" What kind of blinded person says that? Rude. Or maybe just ignorant.
About babies growing up so quickly - I felt like that this morning a little bit. Haven FINALLY rolled over on his own, which I couldn't be happier about ... but it just signaled to me that he will keep growing. He's just gonna get bigger and more grown up ... which is wonderful but such a reminder to enjoy every second.
I love that you were praying for your girl's husbands. Sometimes I feel like the world is so corupt ... But I so want Haven to experience waiting until he's married and falling in love with the right person at the right time and all of that GOOD stuff God wants for us. Prayer is important! (:
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