We're so proud of our girls.


And yes, they can get those fists in even further (especially Selah). But due to having the giggles, this is as far as they got for our little PhotoOp.

And just so you know...they get this amazing talent from their Daddy's DNA. The size of his mouth is scary. Like a cavern.

The Ins and Outs...

this picture is fairly irrelevant...other than the fact that she's a part of our day. and as cute as can be. :)

Things are hopping around here. Life is flying by. God is digging deeper wells within our spirits. Our days are crammed with much planning and reorganizing and preparing for what's to come...

Like:

ANOTHER YARD SALE this Saturday. It finally looks like it won't rain and we won't have last-minute company. I had gotten to the point where I wasn't going to do it. Just throwing myself at the mercy of The Goodwill Drop Off. But I decided that was like throwing money away. So being that I am "nesting" hardcore, I figured I'd put that to good use. Thus, all the extras in our life must go. immediately. for money.

HOME SCHOOL PREP. We start school on Monday, August 4th. That should say enough.

GOD continues to challenge, encourage, and speak to us on an hourly basis. Jet fasted yesterday...and all I can say is...I'm beyond excited to see what's around the next corner.

THE ATTIC. I'm attacking it with fervor. Organizing. Purging. Sorting through girl clothes that needed to be brought down for Baby Girl. Or put away because someone has outgrown it. Or packed into another bin. Etc etc.

The third floor attic has been the catch-all place in our home, gathering all the randoms of our life. And even though I organize it on a seasonal basis, after this summer, it will be completely organized. ALL the unnecessaries, gone. ALL the old tax papers, trashed. ALL the things that we'll actually use, relocated to the first two floors.

BABY GIRL ROOM. It's fast coming together. My goal? To get everything done by mid-August. That way if I follow suit and have this baby 3 weeks early, I'll have a couple of weeks to just veg.

Our YARD... we've been hard at work, trying to get as much stuff done as possible before Jet heads back to school in a few weeks.


So for those that keep up with this blog to know the ins and outs of our days. There you have it. We are busy busy busy. Hopefully one day I'll be able to go more in depth. As there is MUCH that I don't want to forget...

But as for this weekend, I just want it over. Have I mentioned I actually hate preparing for yard sales? *gag*

The Mind of a Child. Enter at your Own Risk.

There are days where all you should do is silently listen as your child speaks what's on her heart. Where the only right response is to just nod. make purposeful eye contact. let them know that you understand.

Then there are days where a heartfelt conversation blossoms in the spur of the moment. Those are times that you have to grab onto before they are *poof* gone. You know, since their attention span for a topic that runs deep is...in a word... short.

And then there are days where you all you can do is look at your child. baffled by what just came out of their mouth. knowing that you are left with little option for an intelligent response.

Well, yesterday was one of those days.

Selah (4), who was watching Raegan dance around the room, suddenly spoke up in all seriousness....

"When Raegan gets killed by a tiger, I will be sad."

Hm. Not sure where to go with that one, Selah. Um, would a muffled "uh-huh" be sufficient? Cause really, I've got nothing.

Teacher.

A friend once told me that when she and I were discussing homeschooling, I said something that stuck with her. Something I don't even remotely remember saying. And because I can't recall even thinking it, I can't remember the exact wording.

Only the gist: Your children's teacher should be someone that you want them to be like.


Now that my friend mentioned it... (since obviously I didn't hear it the first time. You know, the time it came out of my mouth!) ...it's stuck with me as well.


And now I find myself asking: What do I want my children to become? What character traits will we focus on during school? put weight on during conversation? reward and honor during family times?


Will it be math? Do I want my children to excel in math? to be able to solve complex math problems in their head? or reading? do I want my elementary school daughter to be capable of writing a dissertation on War and Peace? or how about Spanish? Should I push them to become fluent by semester's end?


Um. No. Though I do want them to eventually excel in their studies, it's not what I want them to become. Math teachers. Well known scholars. Linguistic intructors.


I mean, sure they could do any of those things and I'd be proud of them. But it's not what I want them to become. You know?


I want them to become women of integrity. women of grace. women of power. ultimately women of faith who can stare the Enemy in the face and not waiver. Women who know the authority that they carry. whose Name they represent and the power behind it.


And so because of that...our home schooling day will start out with reading of the Word. applying to our lives. hearing miraculous testimonies. essentiallly saturating ourselves with worship of the King. until walking in the Supernatural realm in thought and deed becomes a natural way of living for them.


Until they become like that which they read. Until they become like He whom they study.

Rain from Heaven

This past weekend, Jet and I painted and painted. continuing the process of transforming our run down-shack of a shed into something beautiful.

There's always been so much potential there. Though admittedly, my first thought upon seeing it when we bought this house was... "Tear it down. Immediately."

But...instead, I practiced self control, put away the wrecking ball, and agreed to fix it up.

So with paintbrushes in hand, we set to work. And as we painted in unison, we shared our hearts. talking about what the Lord has been doing. what our frustrations have been regarding unseen Promises. how our prayer life needed to step up. how we needed to go about calling into the Now the things that God has continued to promise to us over and over again. things that we've yet to see manifest.

Then there was comfortable silence as our inner thoughts wrapped around all that we'd been sharing.

Immediately, the Lord brought to mind a dream/vision I had well over a year ago (maybe two?). A vision where an angel prophesied in a booming voice over Jet about a specific anointing on his life.

Without going into too much detail (because it's Jet's anointing to share...even though it was an angelic visitation in my vision), all I can say is I've never heard that depth of authority in anyone's voice...or seen the look that he had in his eye as he spoke. I can only describe it by saying there was fire in his eyes.

It was powerful. and very much real. And in a split second, God brought all of that back as I silently painted the once-beaten-up shed.

The moment my mind had finished reviewing the vision, Jet spoke up, breaking the silence: "Did I just feel a raindrop?!"

As soon as those words left his mouth, a single drop hit my shoulder. "Uh-huh. You did. And I just felt one too." And then nothing for a few seconds.

Another drop on my shoulder. And his. Then nothing for about 30 seconds. And then another drop. ...About seven to ten drops on each of us over a span of a couple of minutes. And then once again, nothing.

During this little "sprinkling," we both started to wonder if it wasn't something of a Heavenly Outpouring. Because the sky was completely blue. extremely sunny. and most definitely cloudLESS for miles. There was nothing above us. And no visible water on us even when a drop would distinctly fall.

Trust me, I looked. closely.

"Jet, I don't want to be hyper-spiritual or anything. I really don't want to be flighty, but I also don't want to ignore what the Lord may be doing. ... I really think these are Drops from Heaven.

I don't understand it. But I do know that right before you felt the first drop, God has brought back to my mind the vision where the angel forcefully prophesied over you.... (more specifics said to Jet)... and then immediately after you mentioned the raindrop, a single drop hit my shoulder..."

Still, I don't understand it all. But I'm not bothered. Only excited. Because who can fathom the depths of our God? Who can make sense of the creative communication and deeds of our Lord? Yet. though my mind can't come to terms with it all...my spirit clings to the belief that He was anointing us. and allowing us to physically feel his drops of anointing fall from Heaven's Storehouses.

And I trust that the word spoken by the Angelic Messenger in my vision is being stirred up in Jet. That he is being prepared to fulfill that which God has called him to be... to do.

Just like our rickety shed, I believe the Father is in the process of rebuilding us. restoring broken parts. patching rough edges. covering and strengthening the weak boards. transforming our run down-shack of a temple into something beautiful. sturdy. powerful.

I believe he's ready to fill us. preparing us to walk in that which He first called us to.

It's a Small World after all...

Sing it with me, won't you? You know, since everybody knows it and all. I'm not even sure I know where it originated. Something Disney maybe?

But what does it matter? The chorus is forever embedded into my brain. And recently it seems to have embedded itself on my heart. For my world seemingly continues to become smaller...

THE BACKGROUND:

It wasn't too long ago that my life was anything but small. Before meeting Jet, I had traveled to nine different countries. I had graduated from a large university, where I met thousands and thousands and thousands of people during my time there. I was a public speaker up and down the East Coast. I had ministries beating down my door, asking me to partner with them.

I felt like I had seen the world. and more importantly, impacted it. In my mind, there was nothing I couldn't do. The world was at my fingertips. brimming with unknown possibilities...

Yet. Since saying "I do," my life began to shrink:

God asked me to quit my job with a counseling agency. So I did. And promptly, I started to pursue my long-awaited Master's Degree. But God filled my womb with an unexpected miracle: Charis. So unable to commit two years to more schooling, I continued to stay home awaiting the arrival of our first child.

Then, God asked us to move to cross-country to IsolationVille, Texas. Before moving, we felt challenged to give away one of our cars. So we did, leaving us with only one. For Jet. Which took the term "stay at home mom" to a whole new dimension, as my going anywhere during the day became near impossible.

Isolated. Secluded. "Hedged in" by the Hand of God.

Fast forward 17 months.

The Lord then released us to move back across country, back to our hometown. And *bam* someone gave us another car! But because part of His Training Ground in TX included an upheaval in our finances, lack of (gas) money continued to demand that I physically remain at home with the kids.

Hedged in once more.

Again, I started to head in the direction of a Master's degree. Again, the Lord said no. And after almost 10 years of knocking on that proverbial door, I finally felt a release in my heart to lay the pursuit down. Forever...


THE WAITING FOR MORE:

Whereas I've truly been content (and thrilled) to be a mom, there was always something more lurking on the horizons of my heart. An expectancy that surely with all the God has placed in me, there has to be more than this. With all that God has promised me on a personal level, obviously something outside of being a Homemaker has to be around the corner.

I mean yes, I will raise these children to the best of my ability. love them. cherish them. But then when they're all in school, I'll pick up where I left off. Pursuing my dreams and putting my talents to good use. Because really, this whole stay-at-home thing is just a season. Nothing more, right?

But suddenly, as I allowed the door to the Master's degree to forever be closed, I felt like I no longer held the dream of "more" in my hands. Suddenly "One Day" no longer existed within the realm of my strategic planning. Suddenly my emotional armor of "Stay tuned. More to come" was stripped away.

Stretching forever before me was home life. wife. mom. homemaker. And I was left with only what God had placed in my hands: A sphere of influence that drastically shrunk from thousands to four: Jet. Charis. Selah. Raegan.


GRABBING AHOLD of the DREAMS OF GOD in MY LIFE:

And though our world continues to shrink, our hearts continue to grow for the "small" things that he has set before us. Because as I now prepare to bring our fourth Little Woman into the world, I realize that my dreams have changed.

Maybe some would say that it's been a decrease in vision. a waste in talent. ...But I'd say it's become a more fine-tuned hope that Yes, there is most definitely something around the corner. Something bigger than I ever thought about before...

My children's unfolding destinies.

For deep within me is the revelation that the only things I really leave behind in this world are the memories I create for my children. their knowledge of a Kingdom and Creator yet unseen. their solid confidence that will continue to build them up when the world tears them down. their faith that they will call down heaven's realities into this world's ideologies. their ability to truly love because they were loved.

And while the Lord as repeatedly told me that I will write books (a promise of sorts that I have carefully guarded. something that only 4 people know...until now obviously), I now have to wonder at my interpretation of it. ...Haven't all of us heard the Lord and thought He meant one thing, when He, in his creative wisdom, meant something different?

My interpretation was by the world's standards: An editor. publication. success. And I'd be using all these giftings for His public benefit to boot. He'd get the glory. I'd get the paycheck. Perfect. Thanks God.

But now I have to wonder as *revelation* hits my heart. I may very well be called to write a LIVING testimony...on the very hearts of my girls.

TD Jakes writes this of his sons, "...I know that they are manuscripts yet to be written and songs waiting to be sung. To the world I say get ready for them. They are being printed at this very moment an soon to be published. They will be well worth reading."

Yes yes yes resonates within my spirit!

For I AM in the process of writing books. Personal, intimate, priceless editions. And if I want Best Sellers that will take God's anointing. his wisdom. and my life.

"And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart: and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign up on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:6-9

And I can truly say...that after (almost) 6 years of being a mother, I could hope for nothing more than to train them up to be better women than I was ever able to be. to equip them to love. to encourage them to rest in the midst of a storm. to take the spiritual machete' and blaze a path. one that will lead them straight into the Father's Throne room.

into his power. into his peace. into his arms.

Suddenly all those "bigger" dreams don't seem so fit me anymore. And though I am now ABLE to get in my car and drive away, I'm not feeling the pressing need. These four walls no longer feel like a Hedge. Instead He has opened my eyes to see the Secluded Gardens...not the wall.

a place of peace. full of potential. a place of hope.

For though Dorothy coined the phrase, my heart is truly beating it: "There's no place like home. No place like home."

A bit of sarcasm to remember Me by...

The Second Trimester, that is.

The following is an email exchange between Jolanthe and I. written during my second trimester "Hallelujah-I-can-finally-eat-again-So-stand-back" Phase. It just makes me laugh, so I'm preserving it for memory sake. :)

*old picture ...but the only one I could find on my computer of us together.

My email to Jolanthe:

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed..."

Confession: I ate M&Ms.

Praise Report: But it wasn't until 3:40pm ... instead of 9:00am.

*grin/wink*

Jolanthe's oh-so-witty response:

Pray with me:

Our Father, which art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, Thy Kingdom come…(fast forward a bit)…

DELIVER US FROM EVIL…

Amen. J

Don't you just love a good friend who not only understands but will also pray you through those "darker" moments? Yeah. I'm richly blessed. *bwah ha ha*

( I'm no longer in that phase. *sigh of relief* In fact, the thought of M&Ms makes me want to hurl. Thank God.)

In Hiding for the Day

I'm holing myself up in my room today. Just me. my computer. a pile of our homeschooling stuff.

I. will. prevail.

My intent is to come up with a plan of action. A schedule of sorts, being that both my children and I function better with the understanding of what's next...

I've been working off and on for months now. Preparing. Wading through the extraneous stuff. Trying to wrap my brain around what OUR home schooling experience will look, feel, and sound like.

And then last night happened. As I sat at my laptop, trying to formulate the details, I broke. Some of the things were feeling too overwhelming. And what's the point in that? If I'm overwhelmed, my children will follow suit. And our foundation in learning will be one of stress, frustration, and indigestion.

So with tears running down my face, I bowed my head and prayed. "Lord, I need your help. I need to know what would be the best for us in this season. And only you know that."

And God spoke. Completely changing a large portion of what I've been spending the last three months preparing. All that preparation wiped away in one conversation with God.

As well as all that frustration.

"In his heart a man (woman) plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I have a peace. and an exciting plan of action. And thanks to my jewel of a husband, I have the day "off". He's got the day with the kids. I have the day with their school books.

God, give favor. vision. and excitement to carry out the things you've given me opportunity to carry during this season: their minds.

More to come...

Small town livin'

Ambulances, beauty queens, and lots and lots of candy.


Bring anything to mind? It does in the house. Especially if you add a few buckets into the mix. Buckets used to collect large doses of candy from said ambulances and beauty queens.

That's right. Our town's annual parade was last weekend. A parade that obviously has nothing to offer outside of children learning the art of dodging cars to stockpile candy.



I'm thinking Raegan instinctively knew she was getting the bad end of the deal. No bucket. No running. No candy. (though a lot of cars were throwing frozen icees...her favorite!)

Of course, there were all sorts of oddities to capture her attention...

Like this horse for instance. Does this little horse have a purpose in life outside of this parade? If not, can we have him as a playmate for our dog? They are, afterall, the same size.

But Raegan was far from the only one captivated by the affair...

As both girls seemed to soak in ALL that they were seeing.

The marching band particularly caught their attention, as later that evening they attempted to have their very own marching band around our house. Crazily enough, Charis was really good at mimicking the rhythms she heard on the drums. I was actually impressed.

I have no idea what he was talking to her about...


But it was so darn cute to watch and imagine. See that dimple? Yep. that's what first attracted me to the lug. Lucky for him, eh? :)

I love how things like this expose them to different activities that people are involved in. that they may want to one day try. Though admittedly, I'm hoping Charis sticks with the drums instead of trying whatever these girls were doing. Just sayin'.

And for the sake of proving to the kidlets that I was, in fact, around during all the fun times in their lives...I told Jet to take a picture of me.

This picture was taken after the girls had amassed at least one bucket full each and were tiring of the whole run-into-the-street routine. We seriously have enough candy to last us until next year's parade.

What's a kind and loving mom to do but help her girls eat it?! You learn the art of sacrifice when you become a parent.

Indigestion maybe?

Eating makes me so happy. See that bit of food between my eyes? and on my chin? Yep. That mess equals pure bliss.

Such satisfaction.

I've never been so at peace in all my life. Don't you see that look of contentment in my eyes?


Wait. Wait. I feel it going. Contentment slipping, slipping from my grasp. Yep. Going....Going....*poof*

GONE.


And just like that. In a literal moment in time, things change. Drastically.

We're still trying to locate the On/Off switch.

29 weeks Preggo

The days of the Big 3-0 are fast approaching. Thirty weeks pregnant, that is!!!

For some reason, when the 20's turn over to the 30's (concerning weeks pregnant), my mind just does a little switch. I start to really get ready. The room. The plans. The bag. And it seems to go MUCH much faster. Is it just me?


Here's the Baby Bump at 29 weeks 3 days.

One day, Jet will come home will an insatiable desire to pick up the camera and take a preggie picture of me. One where you can actually see that I have a face. But if you remember correctly...he isn't the best at taking pictures of me. To his defense, he claims he's my "rear guard". Whatever. :)

But for memory sake, here's Girl #4 in the womb. :) Bare belly style.

She's seriously a gymnast. If she's not rolling and rolling around in the womb, then she's completely still (IE. sleeping). When we had the 10 week "viability check" ultrasound, she was literally bouncing from one side of the uterine wall to the other. Fast and furious. I've NEVER seen anything like it. But thankfully, it left no question concerning her "viability."

And suddenly, the term "bouncing off the walls" held a whole new meaning.

Yet regardless of this crazy energy she's got going on, I can somehow sense that she's a sweet spirited little thing. Gentle, even. I don't know how to explain my feeling in this...but just ask most mom's. You just know.

.......

My last OB appointment (yes, the same one where the dreaded needles were involved), my midwife started asking me how I was feeling...

Fine. No, I have no questions. Everything is normal. Yes, I think it's going really fast this time too. Yes, I'm having contractions. But I figure it's normal, right?

We had the normal Q&A exchange. Until she started in a whole different direction:

"So I want to remind you that if you feel anything out of place...like steady contractions that don't go away with rest or movement or change of position I want you to call us. Even if you feel...odd. It doesn't matter, call the office.

If you just don't feel right. Really. CALL. US. Now yes, we have women who call us all the time. Women who we just sort of roll our eyes when we get yet another call from them...because they aren't in true labor. But you...well, you are NOT one of those women. Alright? Really. Call."

I laughed at her insistence. Yet appreciated the sentiment. Because admittedly, even though I've walked into the hospital 9cm dilated before, I still feel odd calling in because it might be false labor.

I think even the women who call often still feel weird calling. It's just one of those things. Like calling the doctor about a could-be infant ear infection. There's no way to know unless you DO get it checked, you know?

Anyway

Last pregnancy, I got the "How-to-Deliver-in-the-car-on-the-side-of-the-Road" speech from a different midwife. One that I was instructed to pass on to my husband in full detail.

We were supposed to have our SUV stocked with trash bags and towels and other such household birthing paraphernalia just in case. And because I'm such the visual person, I tried to picture myself on the side of our busy Highway delivering Raegan.

Uh. No thanks. I'll take an unexpected homebirth over a road-side or ambulance birth anytime. Really. :)

The Concerned Midwife Speeches just make me smile. Because I have complete peace. Even with the newest tidbit that the Lord whispered to my heart during prayer last week...

"This one will be quick."

Hmm...being that my others were all two hours and under, I have to wonder what that means. But I trust. And I hold on to the Peace He is holding out to me.

Granddaddy

Weeding the garden


...with the other man in her life.

Needles *gag*

During my last OB appointment, I had to drink that glucose drink. For those of you that have no idea what I speak of. Rest assured. Ignorance is bliss.

Basically, it's an overly sugarfied drink that you have to guzzle in less than 5 minutes so that your bloodsugar levels can be checked. Helping to diagnose pregnancy-induced diabetes.

But in my way of thinking it's just a sorry excuse for some nurse to make a pin cushion out of me.

Now you have to realize that I have had some horrible blood-taking experiences. Supposed "tiny pricks" that have left both of my arms black and blue for weeks. Times when the trusted nurse holding the blood-taking weapon thought nothing of repeatedly sticking me over and over again.

"Opps, honey. You're vein moved. I'll have to do it again." Say what? It moved? Did you PUSH it while trying for the sixth time?!! Hello...real person with sensory nerves here. Back. Off.

So due to those pleasant memories, I now ask the nurse before they attempt to sever my arm, if they're a "good stick". I figure, if they're not, they'll have to fess up beforehand and I'll get someone else to do the deed.

Okay, so not really. I'm stuck with whoever I get. But I know, at the very least, that they'll be aware of the fact that I'm watching them, that I actually do care about the number of times they poke holes into my arm, and that I'm not too keen on needles.

I figure it's always nice to warn my nurse that they may have a Code Blue on their hands. I'm sweet that way.

Well, this time at my local OB was no different, as I was not looking forward to The Blood-taking Event. Though I have to say I've gotten much better dealing with needles since having lots of babies.

Excuse me a brief moment while I contort my body, won't you? Patting myself on the back takes flexibility and all.

Anyway...sitting in the room, I eye my nurse. I've never had this particular girl take blood before. She looked a little young to me. Just out of nursing school maybe? Great. I'll be dead in 15 minutes due to loss of blood. Excuse me, may I have a piece of paper? I'd like to take a moment to write a final goodbye to my loved ones.

But she interrupts my thoughts before I can even ask her for a pen...

"Which arm do they usually take your blood from?"

You're asking ME? Seriously?! Shouldn't you be equipped to know that? Hmm. This isn't starting out well. So I venture asking The Question: "So are ya a good stick?"

"Sometimes. It depends."

WHAT?! What kind of answer is that?!

I start laughing, "Sometimes? Meaning not all the time?! NURSE! SOMEONE?!" I start pretending to call for backup through the closed door. Unfortunately no one responds to my cry for help.

She laughs and assures me it'll be just fine. Though she says something else (which has slipped my memory) that made me laugh all the more and paw for the door. What can I say, I laugh when staring death in the face.

Hysteria. The natural pain reliever.

Again, she asks me what arm. Okay...obviously I'm going to have to identify the best vein for this chick. Uh, let's see. This vein might be alright? I start rubbing it, trying to get the blood flowing, while desperately racking my brain for any other tips that kind nurses have given me over the years. before extracting my blood like a frenzied mosquito.

And then it hits me. Crap! I forgot to drink lots of water this morning. (it's supposed to help with the overall ease of blood taking) In fact, I didn't drink anything outside of that nasty sugar drink they gave me.

I'm doomed.

Positioning the needle, she says "I think you'd better look away."

Ya think? I try focusing on anything else in the room. They got nothing but white walls. And sadly, any attempt to divert my own attention only makes me more keenly aware of the fact that a foreign object is getting ready to puncture my overly sensitive skin.

Strangely enough Girl-fresh-out-of-nursing-school got the needle in without any problem whatsoever. In fact, I hardly felt a thing.

"How was that?!"

"Great! You may actually be the best stick I've ever had!" I feel the extra blood fade from my hot face. My body temperture goes back down to normal. And I start to breathe easily. Ahh, sweet relief. I want to hug her.

But Nurse Child opened her mouth, ruining the moment. Right before taking the needle OUT of my arm, she said "This part always makes me a little nervous. It can really hurt if I just yank it out."

"Seriously, you just need to stop talking. You make it worse. Just yank the sucker out and say "opps" afterwards. Don't warn me first!" ;)

She told me later that I was the most fun she's ever had taking blood. Huh. Really? Thanks. I would make a date to do it again, but...well, you understand. I like you and all, but I want to see other people. People who aren't of the vampire family. Sorry. But hey, thanks for the compliment. Glad that my phobic tendencies towards needles entertains.

And there you have it, another part of my pregnant journey documented for posterity sake. It's amazing the things you endure when preparing to become a parent. Conception (hee hee kidding!), nausea, weight gain, ravenous hunger, swelling, NEEDLES...

I think I'm pretty much homefree for the next few weeks. Until, that is, they start to check the progress of my dilation. Then I may very well lose my eyesight. As my eyeballs fall out due to how wide they involuntarily open...watching as my midwife's elbow disappears inside of me. You know, just to make sure everything's fine wayyyyyy up there.

And the moral of this rather pointless story, you ask? None whatsoever. Just sharing the complex personality quirks of Me:
-I am a complete weiny when it comes to any and all things Needles.

-I turn MY head when my girls get shots. I cry right along with them.

-This is one of the factors in my desiring a homebirth...they don't do the customary IVs.

-I want my girls to see that their mother is not as brave as they think. ...Okay, so they probably don't need to read this to realize that bit of information. But hey, I can dream.

-And to show myself, yet again, what a true miracle it is that my births are painfree. Because really...they are. Or else Charis would be an only child.
....I'm thinking 7 inch epidural needle. "Are you kidding me?! You're going to insert THAT into my SPINE to make it NOT hurt?! Whatever. Just go ahead and saw me in two. That may be more productive."


So yeah. 28 week blood taking adventure is behind me. Thank you Jesus. Now...to pray up for the delivery itself. :) But actually I'm getting kind of excited about that. I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned...

And after hearing about how much I LOOOAATTHE needles, I figure that says a lot about the Peace of God, eh?

College's End

Today was Charis's last day with Miss Jenny, her "college teacher" for the week. And already she's talking about next year and how she wants to do it again so she "can be in building E and F like the big kids".

It's been fun to hear her talk about school...her expectations, her new friends, her accomplishments, and especially how she feels she measures up to those around her.

"I'm not as fast as Tyler. He beats me every time we all race. I was behind everybody! Maybe God will give me power to run faster than him!"

"I'm not as funny as Robert. He said something...I don't remember what...that made everyone laugh. He's silly. ....but not as silly as Daddy!"

But I'm so no worried about these comparisons and actually think they lend themselves to a healthy self-esteem. Because ironically, I grew up in the public school system...comparing and being compared to everyone else non-stop...and came out with a rock-solid self confidence. Jet, on the other hand, has said that as a homeschooler, he didn't know where he stood in comparison to others. And he said his self-confidence suffered because of it.

So that said...I'm thinking that even though Charis feels like she came out on the "lesser" side of the comparisons, I'm not worried. in the slightest.

In fact, I'm encouraged that she feels confident enough to verbalize her self-comparison to us. And I think it's a good dose of reality that she can't be the best at everything, as the oldest sibling can begin to assume. :)

After having her "Art Gallery showing" and receiving her certificate, Miss Jenny asked up to fill out a questionnaire regarding the class.

So I asked Charis one of the first questions: "What did you like best about the class?" She didn't skip a beat. "Painting and drawing and cooking!!" I think she would have continued to list the positives had I not run out of writing room and moved on to the next question.

"What did you not like about the class?" Again, not hesitating in the slightest, she said: "Actually I liked everything about the class."

And that, in my opinion, about sums it up.

And God Spoke

**sorry for those of you that commented...I didn't mean to leave the comment button on. opps :)**

A few Sundays ago, as Jet and I were worshipping in church, the Lord spoke directly to my heart. Unable to describe the moment in any other way, all I can say is that it was like he was standing beside me, whispering directly in my ear.

It came out of the blue, stirring something akin to an "amen" in my spirit. Though the feeling was as puzzling as it was exciting. And, at this point, weeks later, my mind still continues to grapple with all that his words meant.

The Lord said: You have the Gift of Faith, especially in regards to the lives of your children.

Ten years ago, He first told me that Faith was a gift in my life. Right after I prayed for a lame woman to walk for the first time. ...and she did. So on one level, I've known it. At least in terms of it being manifest in my life off and on over the last decade.

But to have God take the time to reaffirm that it's a Present Day Gifting in my life...AND to direct me to pray bold prayers over my children's lives is beyond exciting. A little bit baffling, yes. But overall awe-inspiring.

I feel as if he's given me direct access to the Throne Room, especially in regards to Charis, Selah, Raegan, and One-who-remains-in-my-womb.

And that is amazing and intimidating to me all at the same time.

So here I sit, knowing what God spoke to my heart. but unsure as to the full impact of the statement. But then again, I tell myself...it doesn't matter that I don't understand the ins and outs of it, right? It's a gift. And really, who doesn't like a gift postmarked "Heaven"?

Lord, may your heart of compassion and fiery faith fill me. So that I will speak *bold* words of faith over my girls. ...and over those that are hurting and hopeless. May my words bring Life to those around me. Just as Yours did when you walked the earth in Full Faith of what the Father was doing.

A double header...

... Selah's 4th birthday AND Charis's first day of a week-long summer class she's taking at a local college ("Art, Music, and Food from Around the World").

So we spent the day running from thing to thing. Because that's what you do when you're on a relaxing vacation, right? You spend your time either fixing up your house or chauffeuring your children from activity to activity.

Uh huh. That's right. We know a thing or two about living large when on vacation. ;)

.....
Unfortunately, I was at an early OB appointment when Selah had her traditional birthday donuts. And since the camera was inadvertently in the car with me, there were no photo-ops of that sugar-induced frenzy. (we never get donuts unless it's a birthday)

But no worries, I was all over being the Parental Paparazzi for the rest of the day...

The girls were so excited about Charis's first day of college (as she puts it) that they were physically incapable of walking calmly to her class. They had to run. and laugh. and squeal. Remember those days when going to school was so exciting that you literally ran to class? Yeah. Think real hard.


Charis did agree to stand still long enough for me to take a picture of her...complete with her new chic sunglasses.

I'm thinking she was feeling pret-ty grown up at this point. Sporting the stylin' glasses, the bright blue necklace she picked out this morning, and getting ready to head off the college where her daddy goes.

As we dropped her off in the classroom, she immediately walked up to her teacher and introduced herself. That's my girl. So bold. :) Right before leaving, I asked if she had to go to the bathroom. She said no, as she was gently pushing me out of the door.

Okay, okay. I can take a hint.

But admittedly, I loved the fact that she didn't want me to remain. Had she been timid, I would have been timid. Crazy how that works now. I'm the parent, but I'm going by her cues now. Do I need professional counseling for that? Or is that normal?! Anyone? Anyone?

So off we went, leaving our bold College Girl behind...

to focus on our Preschooler and whatever she wanted to do: to get some lunch and ice cream. And to visit the children's museum, which was sadly closed. And then to the public library for movies and books, where we ran into some of my daughter's favorite boy buddies. And then back to the college to pick up Charis.

Reagan spent MUCH time in her carseat today.

So when we finally did get out of the car, Daddy let the girls get rid of some crazy pent-up energy, passing the time before Charis's class ended...

Random picture Selah and the Birthday Girl button...

After leaving the college, we ran by my parent's house to quickly gather vegetables from our garden. But they ended up asking to take us out to eat. Hmmm...let's see. Go home and eat the dinner that I prepared last night. ORRRRR let you take us out for dinner and in the process, giving the girls more Grandparent Time.

No brainer, eh? IHOP here we come!

Because all three girls started out the day with chocolate donuts...AND because Charis confessed to eating "lots of chocolate" in her class...AND because Selah had eaten lots of ice cream for lunch, we said that they could only have water at dinner. No sweetened tea. And Grandma? Don't share yours, mkay?

Why, I have no idea. Because the sugar in tea was nothing compared to what the waitress brought Selah for her Birthday Surprise at the restaurant.

Death by chocolate fudge in a bucket.

Just looking at it causes my blood sugar to rise. Oddly enough all three girls fell asleep at 7:30 without problem. See...for those of you that think miracles passed away after the Bible times, think again. *wink*

But bedtime did not come before the sisters gave Selah her presents...
Charis gave her a Discovery Toys Fire Hose....which obviously excited Selah Bug. :)

Because every picture I was taking of Selah had her hair in her face, Charis, the-motherly-one, came over and took care of it on her own accord.

Raegan gave her a huge thing of bubbles and sidewalk chalk.


After all the sugar and presents, Selah was all about hugging all over her sisters.

Too bad Raegan was all about hiding her face. She knew we wanted her to smile for the camera. But apparently little RaeRoo felt it more fun to give us a hard time. :) Oh well. The girls thought it was hysterical.

Of course, all that laughter could have been due to the lethal amount of sugar (IE. pseudo energy) in their system.

Tomorrow Jet is back at work. While the girls go through sugar detox. On my shift.

Birthday Ears...

This may be one of my all-time favorites pictures of these two! It's simply a classic sister pic. Too bad the littlest one is so not into standing still long enough to take a picture.


And thankfully, the girl who used to begrudge me taking so many pictures of her has now started to pose for the camera. :)

...and helping her sister pose as well. That's Charis holding Selah's ear. Showing "the before" ear. Before the Earring, that is.

Ever since Charis got her ears pierced, Selah has wanted to get hers done as well. I didn't think we'd let her get her ears pierced so early. But now... I figure, if she wants to do it, why not?Because in the scheme of life, what does it matter that she wants her ears pierced this early?

I'm learning I had better be really particular about what "battle lines" I draw. Pierced ears? Sure. You have free reign to choose when you want those. That way, when I do say No Way, they'll know it's for a good reason other than my personal preference for their life.

So this year, for her 4th birthday, we're giving her a hole in the head. Two actually.


Here's Selah...thrilled to be sitting in the Piercing Chair. It honestly surprised me how bold she was. We walked into the boutique and she immediately walked over and got up in the chair. I kind of thought she'd back out last minute. But nope...not this go-getter.

Daddy giving a little lovin' beforehand... Notice she's not too into whatever Daddy is saying. She's more into watching the progress of the Piercing Prep.

Selah eyeing the girl, wondering what was taking so long.

And finally, the Big Click! Bless her heart! Because after the ladies were finished piercing her ears and we all clapped for her, I could tell that she wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

All it took was me looking at her and asking "Are you alright, hon?" She bursts into tears, crying "It hurt me a little bit. It hurt me bad." She clung to my neck for a while, refusing to even look in the mirror for about five minutes.

But one lollipop and a few encouragements later, she decided to finally appreciate the fact that she had crossed over into the Land of the Pierced Ones. A land, I might add, that they hope Daddy will soon join. *grin*

She now loves her new reflection!

And will now proudly show whoever wants to see! :)