Charis said this to me tonight as I tucked the girls into bed. And it made me wonder...was there more to what she was saying?
Don't get me wrong...I am fully able to receive compliments without thinking they are loaded. But something in me questioned if there was more to her innocent statement.
Kissing her goodnight, I asked: "Do you think I should smile more?"
Smiling, Charis peeked out at me between the rail of her top bunk and laughed as she said, "You have to."
Out of the mouths of babes.... Yeah. I'd say that pretty much sums it up. I have to.
She wasn't being rude. or manipulative. or even sneaky with her compliment. She meant what she said. She likes my face when it's smiling. And likes it less when the smile is gone.
One thing that I've been praying for these past years is JOY. I used to be one of the most joyful people I knew. Honestly, I don't say that as a haughty statement. It's just a fact. I laughed non-stop. I smiled constantly. I was truly joyful to the extent that people told me that when they first met me, they wondered if I was fake "because no one is always that happy".
And then some things happened in my life that stole that joy. I felt as if my personality was raped (I truly know of no other way to describe it). My smile changed. My laugh changed. My personality changed. I was literally left a different person.
God has since brought tremendous healing in the area of that specific wounding. But to this day, I don't feel like the fullness of my joy has been returned. So when Charis says "You have to..." it resonates within me.
I've been praying for God to just restore it. You know, like one of those *bam* moments when in the blink of an eye everything is made whole. And while they may happen, I'm also being made aware that it's something I need to practice. to choose. to PUT ON.
Job 29:14 says “I put on righteousness and it clothed me.”
Job, first, put it on. And then, it covered him... enveloped his being. I imagine that you couldn't look at him without seeing that which he put on.
“Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendour....” Isaiah 52:1
The people needed to wake themselves up from their slumber (rut)...and choose what they were going to be covered in. No one else could do it for them. And they definitely couldn't do it themselves while they remained in the "sleepy" (inactive) position.
“Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. 1 Peter 5:5
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, gentleness and patience." Col. 3:12
It's never an easy task to choose to be truly humble or kind or patient. But it seems to me, from these scriptures, that once you take the first step of allowing yourself to be draped by it, it becomes an easier trait to carry.
You, first, allow it to cover your "body". Then you begin to embody all it represents. And that is what I want: To Embody Joy.
So today, I choose to smile more. to look for reason to laugh. to joke. to sing. Trusting that as I embrace the very thing that was taken long ago, it will begin to embrace me. becoming second nature to wear. first choice of what I pull out of my "spiritual" closet.
