Give you one guess who the Favorite Parent is

On days like this...


Mommy declares it a day for "Inside Play". We read books. watch movies. paint our toenails. bake desserts. fingerpaint.

You know, all the fun things reserved for...well, DAYS. LIKE. THIS.

But then Stinkin' Cool Daddy comes home. Asks me where the girls' bathingsuits are. And trumps me.

Big time.

Because they get to go outside. In the rain. In their bathingsuits.

With the umbrellas reserved for special times, no less.

To play in the mud puddles.

Next time, I'm sooo letting them drive the car. They've always wanted to try that.

You do realize, Jet Honey... Game On. ;)

Preparing to take hold of His Promise.

There are so many promises in The Word. So many arenas of Power and Inheritance that are completely not evident in my life. At least not on a consistent, daily basis.

In John 14:12, Jesus says to his disciples,

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do because I go to the Father...."

In my heart of hearts, I want to be the hands for Jesus. I want to extend his healing. his wholeness. his heart. I want to walk up to a blind man with full faith and expectation that the Power of God is working in me to heal the sick. to bind up the broken hearted. to set the captive free. (Isaiah 61)

The desire burns within me. So that the world may know that the man called Jesus is very much real and very much concerned about the details of their lives. the frailties of their bodies. the brokenness of their heart. And that He has a storehouse of provision ready and waiting to meet those needs.

I've been thinking...okay, so how do I come to that place where my spirit is so filled with the knowledge of God's compassion and healing that I will not falter in believing He WANTS to heal? through me. consistently.

The thing that has been repeatedly coming to mind is this: I must saturate myself in the Truth to the extent that it becomes part of me. that it becomes a natural working of my brain to expect the results that He has promised.

“Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God” Romans 10:17

And it occurred to me that this is exactly what I do before each of my children's deliveries....

One of the ways that I begin to spiritually and emotionally prepare myself for the God-given pain free labor and delivery of my baby is to saturate my mind with Truth. To remind myself over and over and over again of what God says about me, my body, and my baby until it becomes second nature to walk in that promise.

I intentionally guard my heart against what other people say to expect when having a baby, rehearsing over and over to myself what the Lord says. I continually build up my faith by reading other people's miraculous testimonies of birth. Marveling in what the Lord did for them and their deliveries when they held onto His promises.

In the beginning of my faith-building process (when pregnant with Charis), I wouldn't even listen to any one's horror stories of their births. I didn't want to fill my brain with fear so I'd either walk away or tune them out. Now, I don't have to guard myself as carefully. For my brain has been trained to not latch on to their stories. I remind myself of my previous deliveries, reliving the moments over and over in my head. I walk myself through the upcoming delivery, imaging all the detailed miraculous aspects of it.

Essentially, I saturate my thought process, my emotions, my imaginations, my expectations, my spirit with faith. Reflecting on the best possible outcome based on what God has promised and is challenging me to believe.

SO I can only assume that it's the same when building up my level of faith concerning being a vessel of manifested physical healing.

I just need to saturate my everything with Truth. To focus on what JESUS says, not what man says, about healing for today. To remind myself of all the miraculous healings that I've either experienced personally or been a part of to some degree. To read other people's stories and testimonies of how God has moved in their lives.

At this point, I'm reading a autobiography by Oral Roberts. And I'm planning on reading and rereading Matthew through Acts for the next few months, so my spirit can really get a hold of Jesus and his Father's heart for miracles.

My heart is to be a pure and untainted vessel that allows Him to move powerfully through me touching a dying world to life. Because...

"For the Kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power." 1 Cor. 4.20

After all, he did say that we would do "greater things". I don't want to wait until I get to heaven to find out what He intended that to mean in my life. I want to see it manifested now. I want to see people healed now. On earth as it is in heaven...

Lists Lists and more lists.

I love making lists. Anyone who knows me well...as in has taken a trip with me, worked on a project with me, lived with me, birthed me (hi, Mom!)...knows this.

One of my best friends and I have this little trait in common. And actually, when she and I start planning our upcoming homeschooling year, this could pose a problem. As we are very likely to be lost under a large pile of sticky notes and spiral-bound notebooks. Hmmm...

Anyway.

For the last few months, I've made a running list of things to get done this summer. What can I say? I like to live on the wild side of life...as long as it can be crossed off a well organized list. :)

1. Plant a garden
2. Survive a yard sale
3. Clean up yard (pile of landscaping rocks, wood left over from destruction of carport, etc.)
4. Paint stairway wall
5. Deep clean carpet
6. Scrape and paint the shed

...On and on it goes. Citing not-too-exciting things that need to be done before the beautiful weather is gone. And before Baby Girl #4 is here.

But recently I've been talking to the girls, who seem to have a list all their own. A list that may not accomplish anything great, in terms of completing large projects or preparing for winter. But a list of "tasks", which upon completion, hold priceless, weighty consequences.

Long term memories that will last much longer than the lifespan of a coat of paint. Or the few hundred dollars earned from cleaning out the attic and yardsaling it.

Here are some of the things that we hope to do:


1. Have our summer Tea Party with some little girls
2. Go fishing
3. Sleep in a backyard tent as a family
4. Learn to swim (or at least put our faces in the water)
5. Roll down the large hill at the local park
6. Eat an ice cream sundae for dinner (a summer tradition long ago started by my parents)
7. Work on the garden at Grandma's house
8. Build Selah's playground for her birthday
9. Go Strawberry picking
10. Blueberry picking
11. Fly our kite
12. Ride bikes (without training wheels)
13. Finish reading out loud "Little House in the Big Woods"
14. Go to a farm and look at animals
15. Go to the beach
16. Jump on large trampoline
17. Have fun time with Mommy (this is a direct quote from Charis)
18. Stay up late watching falling stars
19. Go camping with the W. family
20. Buy body paint and use it
21. Have "Jonathon" over again and be really mean tigers. (the girls have been practicing their mean growl to ensure that Jon will be thoroughly scared this time)
22. Designate a day in August as "Kids' Day" and surprise the girls with all sorts of fun things. (Charis thought this was only fair since the summer has both "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day". :)
23. Go on Daddy and Mommy dates with each of the older girls
24. Make an apple pie from scratch
25. Have Charis attend a week-long class at the local college
26. Plant some flowers in the pitiful excuse for a front flower bed and let the girls be in charge of them
27. Plant the miniature pumpkin vine in our backyard
28. Have L and M over to spend the night with the girls. (Though Charis did say that we may need to wait until M turns 6. Funny girl)
29. Roast Marshmallows
30. Make banana bread
31. Make homemade pizza
32. Find a caterpillar and watch it make a cocoon and then hatch- Again!
33. Go to a drive in movie theatre
34. Go on a picnic to the nearest mountain
35. Feed the ducks at the local arboretum
36. ....

The fun thing about this list is that as we mark things off, it will actually be a JOY to add new things to it.

Here's to a summer of the never-ending list of fun!

My Trio of Girls

They all look so young here. But I distinctly remember thinking that Selah and Charis looked so big.

How time flies. When you're in the moment, it feels anything but fast. There are days that seem to repeat the same hours over and over again.

But then, you blink. And you realize that you shouldn't have been so hasty in rushing through. Because the days you thought would never end. Do. And the little girls you thought would never stop toddling around the house. Have. And suddenly those baby-faced girls you once considered big...

...now look so young. And you'd give anything to turn back time and hold those little squirming bodies all over again. kiss those pudgy cheeks just one more time.

Because now I have three bigger girls. All with distinct personalities. "Big" girls who want to talk of their husbands. And their future babies. And their budding careers.

Playing at making dinner. having tea. raising families.

Because one day I know it won't be for pretend. And all I'll have left of these fleeting moments are pictures. memories. and the joy of watching them experience "big" life together. For real.

Ballroom Dancing

Every Wednesday for the past little while, we've had the pleasure of hanging out with these neighbor friends for a couple of hours.

They usually play nonstop. Jumping. Running. Yelling. Snacking. Laughing. The only reason they are in the NonActive position is because I said it was reading time before Daddy came to pick them up.

But one thing that they don't normally do is dance. At least not partner style.

Yet for some reason, Charis thought it necessary to tutor Patrick in the art of couple dancing.


The only reason this came to my attention was because I heard Charis say "No, keep your hand where it was."

I twirled around to find the 3 year old neighbor boy's hand resting on her lower back. Right where she instructed it to be. Notice the above look of satisfaction on Charis's face. Patrick, her student-in-training, must have been a natural.

Self-Imposed School Time

There will come a time when she may not beg to do "work".


But whether or not that changes, I know this little face will...


And I never want to forget how precious...how serious...how determined she looked while completing her schoolwork.

A different season...

For at least four months, I've been throwing back and forth different options regarding this blog. To privatize (only letting a select few read) it completely. Or to cut out the option to comment. Or to do nothing and leave it as is...

But for numerous reasons, I've decided to --for a season-- cut out the ability to comment on my blog and to stop commenting other blogs, though I'll still be reading them to keep up on your lives. It just takes too much time. and too much energy.

Time and energy that I want to focus on my family. on homeschooling with integrity. on diving into the Word of God and pressing into His heart.

Being that I no longer scrapbook, this blog has become both a journal and a scrapbook of sorts for us and for those far-away family and friends.

Though I will keep up with all of those bloggin women who I have gotten to establish relationship with over the last year (via email and hopefully soon some face-to-face visits!). Your stories and your heart for the Lord and for your families inspire me.

But for now, this blog is shut from comments.

So I can just focus on writing for us. To document our lives. The crazy things. The deep things. The God things. The everyday things. And then to put that in book form for my girls.

Some things that I don't want to forget...

My midwife's reaction:

Following the the sonogram, I had a routine check-up with one of the midwives. The one who told me that she'd be on call for my delivery. We just have this connection. Being that she has daughters around my age, I have to wonder if I remind her of one of them? Because she comes into the OB room, sits down, and immediately starts chatting about life. :)

After she saw that I was having another girl, she did the same thing she did when we found out our little Raegan Roo was a girl (via sonogram). She shared a few personal stories about her three daugthers (now grown) and the close bond she has with all of them.

This go round, she said, "You know, I just don't know how women get along without three daughters!" And here I'm going to have four! :)

She did ask me if I was going to let the two oldest girls have a part in the naming process. I'm thinking No. Being that a few months ago Selah announced that she was naming her child "Beauty and the Beast". :) Thankfully, when I mentioned that name to Selah again...she laughed and said "NO, silly! That's not a name for a person!" Apparently she's grown up a lot in the last few months.

And Charis? Well, she suddenly decided to get a definitive opinion about names. She's been shooting down our ideas left and right. Except for one name. The first part of it. She just won't allow the middle name. Which shocks me since it's a name that she chooses for herself all the time during pretend play...."Grace".


The girls' reaction:

We took the girls to IHOP. Our first as a family, so it will always hold the memory of this announcement for us.

After ordering, Jet and I told them. "God decided to give us another baby sister." They both smiled...letting the announcement sink in for a second before Selah perked up and said "I was right!" While Charis did get excited, I don't remember much of what she said.

All I remember was that she Charis became a little pouty. She didn't like what she assumed Jet would order for her. Or the fact that she got water and had to share a glass of OJ with Selah. Everything was making her sad and weepy to the point that I was getting a little annoyed.

But then I finally clued in. I realized that she was might be a little disappointed because she thought that God didn't answer her prayer for a boy.

So I took her in my lap and whispered in her ear, "I wanna tell you a secret." That peaked her curiousity. "Do you want to know why I wanted another girl so much? It's because I loved having you. God saw how happy I was with you for a daughter and decided to bless me by giving me more daughters. So the reason why I wanted another girl was because of YOU. Because I love YOU so much. You are the reason."

At that point, she just wrapped her arms around me, buried her face against my neck and said, "I love you so much, Mommy!

And that was the end of it. She was excited about the baby sister. :)


My mom's reaction:

It was, by far, the best reaction. And definitely my most favorite. She called from England...and I told her we were having another girl. She said nothing right away. She just screamed. loudly. And then said, "I was hoping it would be!"

She had told me a few weeks back, after asking how the girls were..."I won't be able to say that anymore if you have a boy, will I? I'll have to ask about the kids. not the 'girls'." My mom is so cute! She loves the thought of four stair-step girls as much as Jet and I do. :)


...Overall we've had varying reactions. Some that I don't want to remember. Some that seriously challenge me think before I speak to pregnant women. Some who understood our excitement, having come from a family of all/lots of girls. Some who questioned our excitement and poured out their words of pity for us. It's been all across the board. :)

Two people even told me...within two minutes of each other (via email)....that they had recently had dreams that I delivered a baby girl.

One man (Darrel) told Jet when he heard was "That's so great! I may only have one girl, but man, there's just something about having a girl. It changes you." :)

Another man told Jet (Norm) that when his father-in-law was expecting their 4th (or 5th?) girl, everyone kept spewing words of pity. His FIL got to the point that he said, "I want to name her Rejoice because I'm so overwhelmed with excitement even though all these people think I should be upset." Her name is now Joyce. :)


But regardless of all the varied reactions, the ones that really stand out in my heart, when all is said and done, are
-that Jet and I literally cheered when we saw her on the sonogram screen.
-that God obviously chose this little one for us. And that He must love our beautiful, little girls as much as we do to keep giving us more.

Now to find a name that fits the little one that we saw in the womb via sonogram. Any ideas? We like original names with powerful meanings....

The Sonogram- Part 2

Before the woman even uttered a word about the sex of the baby, I knew. I see it clearly on the sonogram screen.

"It's a ----, isn't it?"

"Yep. I think that's pretty clear." she said, laughing.

I couldn't help it. I cheered and clapped and cried. Honestly, I think it's the first time I've ever had that reaction. I look over at Jet and he's beaming. Eyes watering. Huge smile on his face.

We both look at each other and say "It's so perfect." Honestly, it's exactly what I wanted. But was afraid to even hope for.


And so it is with GREAT pleasure that I announce to you...






















WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!

The Unveiling. In picture form, at least.

**Update: Trust me, we're not trying to be mysterious by "withholding". :) But I do want to tell my mom first before the word just gets *out there* and out of our hands. So...until then just consider me your personal lesson on patience. Yeah, I know... you're welcome. *wink*

She gets back Sunday night. So it may not be until Monday. But trust me, we are soooo excited and soooo ready to talk about it with people. No one...not even my bestest (and she has sweetly promised to not corner my children for info at church)...know yet.

BUT I have to say that this whole "family secret" thing we got going on between me, the hub, and the girls is kind of sweet, being that we always share everything immediately. xo


Here we are. 7:45 in the MORNING. Dropping the kidlets off at Jolanthe's as we head in to the get the Long Awaited Sonogram.




I figured that it would be too chaotic to take the older two girls into that little sonogram room. Being that Charis wanted a boy. And Selah wanted a girl. It could have been ... um, not pretty.

So they were all too happy to go play with two of their best friends. Of course, having NO clue what Jet and I were doing. Had they known we were going to look at the "doctor's computer screen," they would have insisted to come with.

And yes...allow me to scream it from the rooftops...I am a Dork. Why even try and hide the obvious?

A huge thanks goes out to my great friend, Jolanthe, for watching my girls and taking these pictures. If you are interested in a photo shoot from her, she is in the yellow pages under "Yo Mamma Studio" *wink*

....

Last night as Jet and I lay awake in bed, we were both full of anticipation for today's "Revealing". I know that many people don't find out the gender at the 20 weeks ultrasound. For many many personal reasons. I respect that and in a SMALL (very itty bitty) way envy them it. :) But I'm just wired in a completely different manner.

(This is a side note for the all those people who corner pregnant women in the church bathroom and tell them they are demented parents for finding out. Yes, this did happen...two weeks ago. I'm telling you, church bathrooms are dangerous places when you are pregnant. For some reason women tend to feel extremely comfortable sharing their personal views about your body, pregnancy, and parenting skills in the restroom....maybe it's the fact that they just had their pants down shooing aside all sense of propriety?... But I digress...)


ANYWAY, though I do feel connected to and pray for the unborn baby in my womb...it's like something really kicks in and says "Alright! Let's get serious about the business of interceding for this Little One" when I know more about the little baby hidden within my womb.

And it's like I can suddenly devote everything in me to the REALITY of who I know this baby to be (girl vs. boy)...and all the hidden hopes that my heart carries for it become catapulted into more knowledgeable prayers.

Anyway, it just happens to be one of the many ways that Jet and I bond with this baby before we ever get to hold it in our arms.

And now...we know. We got to see and bond with our little one...



...The precious, precious profile :)





...The frequent smiling. Though we were unable to get it in picture form, the baby was full of smiles. This was the "almost smile".

For those of you that aren't aware of what babies look like at this point in pregnancy...they have very little, if any, fat. So they look pretty...well, like this picture. :) Don't be afraid. Baby looks completely normal. Well, obviously in an "above average" sort of way. hee hee

... The sweet personality! It completely shone through as the baby played, grasped, and pushed at the umbilical cord which was right in front of its mouth.

Thankfully, we happened to get the sonogram person (do they have an official name?) who likes to play around. She was all too happy to switch it to 4D and let us watch our baby play for a while, revealing more and more of the budding personality.

...And obviously the GENDER!

Though my mom DID call from England...we missed it, only getting to hear her voice via answering machine. And she forgot my cell phone number. *pout* But she promises to call tonight IF she can get to a phone (she's leading a missions team so they are really, really busy).

Both Jet's and my hearts are *bursting* to tell our WONDERFUL WONDERFUL news. But for now, we won't. We will wait until he and I can actually see each other alone and marvel together over what the Lord has done for us as a family.

Boy vs. Girl

With the Big Sonogram coming up on Thursday, we're finding ourselves thinking more and more about the baby...and its gender. Crazily enough, neither of us really has any big inclination towards one gender or the other. We both are utterly clueless and completely ready for whatever the Lord blesses us with! Whereas with both Selah and Raegan, I hoped for and thought they were girls.

But now, we are stumped. No idea. No real preference. At least not in terms of "I really think it's a ..."

So for memory sake...since in two days, my previous questions will all be a thing of the past...here's a list of some of what we've been thinking. (I can't recall it all now, so will have to come back and add to the list as we remember)



Reasons why we think this is a GIRL:

-I'm craving the same things I did with Raegan. Citrus in the beginning, especially.
-The pregnancy feels the same as the other ones. Nothing dramatically different than the girls. I feel the same. I'm having the same symptoms.
-I have a hard time picturing anything else.




Reasons why we think this is a BOY:

-Though I tend to carry all of my babies on the smaller side, I do think I'm carrying this one a BIT differently than I did with Raegan.
-Because I had always wanted "three boys and then a girl". It would be so like fate to give it to me backwards. hee hee
-At the 10 week sonogram, the baby was measuring ahead. AND was literally bouncing off the walls of my uterus. Even the person conducting the sonogram commented about how it must be Gym Hour. It did NOT stay still.

How about with you? Were your boy pregnancies different from your girl ones? How so? Did you instinctively know the gender?

With my mom out of the country until Sunday, I'm not sure how soon we'll share the big news. I want her to be one of the first to hear. SO if she calls us from England on Thursday...which she may get a chance to do...then the world will know Thursday night. If not...then depending on our ability to keep quiet... the world may still know on Thursday night.

Being that I'm the kind of person who tells *everyone* I'm pregnant when the pee-stick is still wet, we'll see how long I can keep it in. ;)

Week 20!!

During a week-and-a-half period, I gained 10 pounds. Impressive, isn't it?

Yep. Raegan stops nursing and I start keeping all my food down.... And *Bam* My body goes all crazy. Obnoxiously inviting all the free (fat) radicals in the air to land and take up residency. "Come one! Come all!"

Ah, the joys of pregnancy. It is truly THE ONLY TIME you can gain a physics-defying amount of weight in an insanely short time...and people just smile and say "Well, Good!"

And mean it.

That said. Around the same time, our digital camera decided that enough was enough. It had been abused long enough by small hands and hurried mommy moments. And some sort of device broke off. So it's not working the best. :(

Jet and I tried and tried to get pictures that wouldn't cast a huge shadow behind me. Or be completely blurry.

So until we hit the lotto and invest in another camera or until Jet takes apart the camera in attempts to fix it... these pictures will have to do:


Twenty Weeks! How did it comes so fast?!! In no time flat, I will have another little one in my arms. AHHH! And yes, we find out the gender THIS week. Anybody wanna wager a guess? :)


Because we had literally taken dozens of pictures. from all angles. in all types of light. with the flash and without.... I'm way past tired of looking "smiley." But I wanted to take the picture with my face at least showing...for you, Val. Even if it's not a happy face. :)



Here is an extREmely blurry picture. But at least it shows the belly silhouette.

And finally. The pic that shows my belly size the best. Well...if you can get past the fact that my mirror must be way past the need for a little Windex. (It LOOKED clean when I took the pictures!? Seriously!)

So there you have it. My belly, in all its instantaneous-ten-pound wonder. From every angle that we could capture. Well, at least that our belligerent camera and sorely-covered-in-dust mirror would allow.

Learning

Charis has been wanting to be a Big Girl Biker for a long time.

Well, yesterday evening as we went out to ride bikes, Jet said that one of her training wheels was already coming off. Unknown to us, the wheels were so high and so loose that they weren't even helping. Essentially, the left training wheel came off by itself.

In order to build her confidence (though it seems she's been biking without the need of them for a while) Jet left the remaining one on.

As she was riding around our driveway, she yelled in a way that reminded me of Pentecostal preachers, "Jesus is holding me up! Thank you, Jesus!" :)

Less than five minutes later, she fell and bloodied her knee. Screaming so hysterically that I'm sure the neighbors wondered who was being attacked.

....

This past week and a half, my heart has become more and more aware of my ability to be short-tempered. There are moments (though thankfully more rare than not) where my reaction to life isn't what I would hope it'd be.

Times when a child carelessly spills red sauce on a new, white shirt. Or when my husband comes home and unknowingly deals with the children in a different manner than how I do it during the day. Those times. The times when small things happen and I find myself completely annoyed. But instead of graciously responding, I respond in a way something akin to a mini volcano.

I hate it. It's NOT how I want to react. In fact, if someone else reacted that way to my children or my husband, I wouldn't stand for it. Yet. Somehow, in that moment, something in me apparently deems it permissible to overreact to those I love the very most. HUH!?

So recently, the largest, most desperate prayer of my heart has been that:

my "knee jerk" reaction to my family would be a direct mirror of the Love and Face of God. I want my immediate response to be one of love. One hundred percent of the time.

So many times in the Word, God gives us directives. to steady ourselves. to arm ourselves. to move out of the place where we are.

"Go through, Go through the gates....build up the highway....clear it of stones..."

"Rouse yourself, rouse yourself, stand up!"

"Draw near!"

"Prepare the way of the Lord!"

"Fan your flame"

"Put on the armor"

"Earnestly desire the higher gifts"

"Put away all bitterness and wrath and anger...."

On and on it reads, in both Old and New Testament alike. God's instruction to me to DO SOMETHING. To rouse myself from a stupor and start moving towards the very thing that I desire. that I am asking him for.

And the thing that I most desire right now...more than the miraculous. more than the supernatural. more than anything... is complete purity of heart and purity of tongue.

Can it be done? Yes. Will it be hard? Yes. Will Jesus help me? Yes. But I have to realize that just as Charis has to learn inner balance, steadfast confidence, and quick motor skills in order to master the bike, I too have to learn inner balance, steadfast thinking, and quick response love in order to master this thing called Love.

We have to take some responsibility in arriving at the place where we want to be. Neither of us can just sit back and wait for the answer/skill/ability to fall our lap. We both have to try and practice and choose to keep at it, even when it's hard. even when we fall down.

Because let me tell you, since seeking God concerning my heart responses and knee-jerk reactions, it's like the heat has been turned up. I've been more edgy. more quickly annoyed. more fully incapable of thinking nice thoughts.

But I trust that Jesus will help both Charis and I as we GO AFTER the thing that our hearts both desire. We have to press in and go after it. And after time, it will become easier. To the point that we don't even have to think about it.

And those God-mirroring knee-jerk reactions that I so desire will become second nature. Ironically, just like...riding a bike.

By Myself

Because you just want to be a big girl and not be held every once in a while.

An outpouring

God has been pouring out his healing in Lakeland, Florida. Todd Bentley has been there for over a month...not preaching, but just receiving words of knowledge after word of knowledge of creative healings/miracles from the Father. OUR Father!

Healings are happening left and right. I could write and write of all the things I've seen via the internet. But instead, I want to invite you to watch.

http://www.god.tv


Every night from 7-11pm on the East Coast (I think).

The Beatings of His heart brings Life

I was once listening to a speaker. I don't remember if it was during my year-long stint at YWAM or at some Christian conference. The place doesn't matter. Nor does the speaker. It was the content of the message that has stayed with me. One part in particular.

**two people have confirmed that the speaker was Heidi Baker (www.irismin.org) **

The speaker said:

"I was speaking to a group of pastors in Africa. And felt led by the Holy Spirit to ask a question.

'Has anyone here ever raised the dead?' Half of the people in attendance raised their hands.

'Has anyone here ever been raised from the dead?" The other half raised their hands."

Something *sparked* within me. How could it not?! For I was hearing how MY GOD was raising the dead today. And not just one or two. But multitudes.

That somewhere in the world, there were people who were stepping out. loving and trusting in the Name of Jesus. that it is more powerful than death. And here...in my small corner of the world...I was not experiencing that part of Him.

Nor was I even hearing that raising the dead was a reality of the now. And not just something that happened to Lazarus so that millions of children could have a cozy little Bible story to hear during Sunday school.

It happened. And IS happening even as I write.

Doesn't that stir something within you? That the Lover of your Soul has a whole different dimension than what you currently know? For those that would say they don't care...or don't believe...my heart grieves.

But what grieves my heart more is this. The fact that I know. that I believe. Yet I do nothing about it. While I say that I am not content to just know, my actions show that I am all too content to do just that. For I do not press in.

And while I am not content to stay on the fringes of the Throne Room, my daily schedule does not put obvious weight to this desire.

So this week, the only thing I want to have on my "To do list" is to press in and focus on His love. To choose him first. to know Him first.

To embrace his love for me. the beatings of his heart for me. to revel in that. Then, I know the power will not be too far behind. For how can such a revelation of His love stayed contained within me? It would undoubtedly spill out.

"...he had compassion on then, and healed their sick." Matthew 14:14

I'm going to make a T-shirt

... "I survived The Yard Sale."

You know, since they can be fairly dangerous.

And no, I don't speak of the 3:45 AM wake up call. Nor the fact that your youngest daughter never went back to sleep. Nor the challenge of setting up your stuff in the pitch dark. Or trying to remain sane throughout the process.

I talk of the BEFORE. The time frame where you price and box up your stuff. where you tend to realize you actually LIKE the stuff you're planning on selling. Especially when 1/2 of the stuff you're selling has been out of your sight for a year.

Okay. Who am I kidding? The other 1/2 has been out of my sight for a MONTH. And it was still a bit of a shock as I pulled it from its box. "I'm selling this?! Why?!"

But of course, I am the type of person who "nests" even when I am NOT pregnant. So add some preggie hormones in there and I become something akin to a tornado. Nothing is safe...

"Okay, this goes. And this. And this. ...Honey, do you think we could sell the Baby Exersaucer? What's that? Raegan's still using it? Well...I know, but I could take her out." (yes, I did actually ask to sell it. And yes, she is still using it. I know. It's a disease, this need to purge that I possess.)

So Friday morning, as I started to go through the yardsale boxes to price things, I began to shop. My Own Yardsale. Pitiful.

Apparently, it's genetic. Because my daughters did the same thing. "Oh!! We're selling this? But it's my favorite toy!"

Grant it, they haven't seen it for a year. Probably forgot it existed. And most likely never played with it to begin with. But suddenly it's a must-have.

Like mother like daughter I suppose.

So for those of you that care... We made $300. And that was with no big ticket items. And this is after having EIGHT other yardsales in the past 5 years. So really? What's left to sell. I mean, other than Raegan's exersaucer. And the shirt that Jet refused to take off. :)

We even have stuff left over....to have another yardsale with some neighbors this summer.

I can't help it. I was going to drop it off, but after making a few hundred dollars on piddly items, I have a hard time just releasing the *junk* to the backdoor of the local Goodwill.

But while the money and the extra space are soooo nice, there always seems to be another personal benefit for me after I purge my house of *stuff*. My spirit begins to come alive again. Honestly, I don't really know why. Maybe it's just the way I'm wired? Or maybe it's because all the stuff cluttering my house clutters my spirit as well? Becoming a major distraction, hindering my ability to "be still and know."

But either way, it remains truth. And this time is no different. More on that to come.

Just checking in

Friends and Family from afar,

I am too tired to think. Much Much too tired to process. Way past impossible to capture exhausted thoughts and write down unprocessed feelings.

Yep. That about sums it up.

Project YARD SALE is in full swing. Kristy and I are meeting up way too early in a school parking lot to join in on a community yard sale where literally thousands of people will pass by. This is my chance to rid myself of *junk* AND make money at the same time.

Yesterday marked Jet's last day of college classes for this semester. So he's been hogging the computer (kidding hon) to write term papers. And I've been staying up late to "watch" him. I hate going to bed without him.

And Baby Bean is apparently doing some amazing stuff this week. An online pregnancy site says that "The bones are continuing the ossification process." and "This is an impressive week for growth!"

Thus, my body feels completely wasted.

But my brain says Must. Not. Stop. The yard sale boxes are waiting to be priced. Borrowed tables are waiting to be picked up. Some sort of plan needs to be set in motion regarding the girls so they won't have to wake up at 4AM to drive to town. Much to do. No energy to do it.

So I post pictures of my girlies to give you a small taste of home life these past few days.
Charis. Ever continuing to look like a big girl.

Selah. Eyes full of daring. Hair full of...wild. This girl needs no volumizing gel.

Raegan. Pressing into the world of toddlerdom. Learning whatever she can. And by the way, this is the reason she stopped nursing. She always wanted to read books instead.

Hopefully the forecasted rains will stay away long enough for Kristy and me to make some major money. oh please please please!

I'm off to price stuff. Okay. Maybe not. I'm off to collapse on the couch. Right beside the treadmill that hasn't been used in months.