For the past couple of years, I've toyed with the idea of a homebirth.
I have friends and in-laws who have gone that route. I have easy births, which I think would lend themselves to the whole scenerio. I have a close friend who is a midwife-in-training and therefore has had the ...uh, "pleasure" of being my very own "Dear Abby" when it's come to the subject of homebirths over the past 5 years.
And Jet?
Well, he basically delivered our second daughter on his own (We had a VERY laid back hospital midwife in Texas who just stood back and said "let me know when you need me") and therefore isn't against the idea in the slightest. In fact, when I was pregnant with Raegan, the hospital midwife had us both prepped for Jet to deliver the baby in our car in case this last labor went that fast. *grin*
So all in all, I'm pretty much surrounded when it comes to people who would support me in this decision.
But there's that small fraction of a "But what if...?" that tends to stay in the forefront of my mind. Discouraging me from stepping out into the unknown. Encouraging me to live in fear of the things that could go wrong.
BUT this last experience at the hospital was not something that I recall with fond memories. A lot of things happened during the labor/delivery that I didn't like or appreciate in the slightest. And without going into detail, those concerns may just be what puts me over the "edge" into making the decision for a homebirth.
The only thing is I cannot sit around on my rear just "thinking" about it anymore. I've got to make some sort of decision. NOW.
I know at least a few of you have gone the route of homebirths and I'd love to hear how you came to that decision. Your experience. Questions I should ask when interviewing midwives. Etc Etc. If you don't want to put it out there for everyone to read, just email me.
My first appointment with the midwives isn't for another couple of weeks (I'll be 2 days shy of 13 weeks). So I suppose I have a little while yet to make an "informed" decision. Any feedback you can give would be a great help!
11 comments:
I can't give you any advice, since I never had a homebirth. Although my last birthing experience was not a great one ethier and I said quite a bit after that if I were planning on having anymore kids I would def. look into other options!! I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and the decision you'll be making.
On a side note, a home birth has always sounded soooo neat to me, if you decide that route I want to know all about what goes on!! ;0)
I had many fears as well. It helped me to meet the midwives and ask them many questions, but also express my fears. They were able to show me what they bring with them to the birth (same as hospital equipment) and also explain emergency tequniques. I felt extremely comfortable once I understood that homebirth is as safe as a hospital birth. I assumed they did not have the equipment to handle an emergency. Boy was I wrong. I think most people assume that. The worst that happens is that you meet with them and decide it isn't for you. It can't hurt to meet them and ask questions. My main questions were how things were handled if the baby was in distress.. cord around the neck.. breech baby... ect. It helped alot hearing how they handle each situation. Also ask if they have a back-up doctor that can care for you if needed.
I am Strep positive, so I had an IV in place for that. It was just like the hospital... in terms of equipment they brought. I felt very safe during my birth. They monitored the baby often and were right on top of things. The baby had the cord around her neck twice. They handled it like champs. They were calm and the baby was fine.
I think you are a great canidate having 3 natural easy births. But, ultimately, your decision should be made in prayer. I prayed a lot about it and felt that this is what God was leading me to do.
I probably shouldn't comment since I loved having Haven at a hospital. I'm looking forward to this birth because aside from meeting my little baby, I view my hospital stay as a mini vacation (demented, I know). HOWEVER, my friend Karen has had at least 3 homebirths and loves it. I asked her to come over and see your post. So, that's all of the help I can give. ;)
I toy with the same idea. I've told Mark the whole "next time..." scenario. I'd love to have the baby at home. But I'm with you, there's this slight fear of... "what if...???" And Mark is perfectly fine with the hospital.
A friend of mine has a midwife and is doing it at a birthing center, which is a really happy medium.
So if the chance arises, I'd probably do the birthing center/midwife option. And then if that goes well and the chance arises AGAIN, maybe THEN I'd do the homebirth!
~Stacy
You sound like me about 9 months ago! :)
I know my desire for a homebirth was strongly motivated by my dissatisfaction with the hospital birth I had in Israel so I can understand how you feel in that area.
Since I've never had a homebirth, I can't really help you further. But I'm planning to learn from YOUR experiences, just in case I have the opportunity to do this again! ;)
All three of my girls were birthed at home. There's no such thing as licensed mid-wives in Nebraska so I saw a Doc who was 'ok' with me having a homebirth and then my mom and a friend 'delivered'.
BUT my mom already had several homebirths of her own - in recent years and the friend also. They both have large families and are very much into doing things pretty natural (duh).
My first labor was a little scary but we kept in touch with the doc and she talked us through the scary stuff.
I pray God leads you to what's right for you!
I wanted to have a homebirth with Joseph, but when stuff started going wrong in my 1st trimester and my midwife wouldn't give me the time of day, I switched to a family practice. I LOVE my Dr(s), but wish they could come over to my house... and maybe bring some drugs too. ;)
Go to netflix and rent "The business of being born". You can rent it for free as they offer a free trial. I think it will blow you away and will also answer many of your questions as well as help with your fears. The movie is SO good and SO well made. You will love it!!!
The answer will come to you. It's just me...but I couldn't do a homebirth. No one could pay me to.
You'll know when the time is right. You will have perfect peace.
Hi, I'm Jen's friend,Karen. She told me about your post, so here I am. I can't believe you haven't had a homebirth already! ;-) I have six children. My first was in the hospital, and let me mention that I didn't enjoy the experience at ALL. My second was supposed to be a homebirth. I asked my friend, a midwife-in-training, to assist in the delivery. Nothing went terribly wrong--but I was encouraged to start pushing too soon and wound up pushing for hours and eventually giving birth albeit naturally, but in the hospital. All was fine in the end. Doing all the labor at home was WONDERFUL!!!! I wished I would have stayed tuned into my own body, because it wasn't until I was getting into the ambulance that the URGE to push hit. Live and learn.
It was always much more relaxing to labor and deliver in my own home. I could go at my natural pace and not feel rushed or probed or made to lay on my back with a monitor strapped to my belly just to check contractions. I knew full well when I was having a contraction.
Anyway, the last four were all homebirths. I hired midwives for two of the four and both times they didn't make the birth until it was a done deal. My mom and husband and doula friend all knew what to do and had lots of experience as well.
Homebirth is such a wonderful and natural experience. Having an experienced midwife is a real plus (even if they are late--haha). The best thing about the midwife is they are completely there for you and the baby the entire time. In the hospital, the doctors must be shared and they certainly don't give you a lot of their time. I never had a midwife at the hospital. It's not allowed much here in NY.
I hope you find the peace you need in making your decision. You know what they say, "Ya gotta go with your gut."
Mine were all in the hospital, but the last 2 were with a midwife and the difference was amazing.
I think the fact that I had "done the birthing thing" before did help, but the midwives ROCKED!
I would encourage yot to look into any option and allow God to guide you.
I couldn't do a homebirth...Eric would go for it a tall, but I think it would be a neat experience if everyone was up for it :)
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