Do Overs

There are many things in my life that I'd love to be granted a "Do Over".

You know, the past moments that cause you to inwardly cringe with just the thought of them. Those times where you look back and blush, thinking certainly I didn't say or do that. No, not me.

The freeze frames of your mind that hold only regret.

regarding the person you dated. the argument you started. the horrible 80's bangs so proudly (and stiffly) hairsprayed.

When considering those moments, I find myself longing for the magical ability to immediately intervene. You know, like on I Dream of Genie. One little *wiggle wiggle* of my nose and a blink of my eyes and *bada-bing*...masterfully undone.

All my stupid, not so graceful moments *poof* gone. Just. like. that.

Ah. doesn't that that sound so comforting? so freeing? so perfect?

This is, admittedly, one of the ways that the Enemy often attacks me. I'll be living out my day, doing nothing of great significance, when out of the blue, a thought will hit.

A thought of my past stupidity, past sin, some past regrets. At times causing me to physically react: my body temperature rises. the pit of my stomach tightens. and my facial expression contort and cringe.

And if I'm not careful, I'm immediately taken back to that moment. reliving it all over again. wasting time getting caught up in a moment that no longer exists.

Outside the realm of my memory, that is.

Yep. I could write pages and pages, giving detailed accounts of the days I would so love to erase from the pages of my life. Heck, I would love to wipe out whole seasons, if I'm being completely honest.

There are just some things that you want to be free of, you know? especially when you're as busy as I have been. *wry grin*

But it's in that moment of regret that I'm finding myself running into the exact Freedom that I so desperately hope for.

For I cannot change those moments. Yet undeniably, they have changed me. Making me better. stronger. smarter. more humble. The list is unending...

The only negative influence that those "Do-Over Hopefuls" can have is the kind that I allow, you know?

So just consider this your fair warning, you vile hounds of Hell.

For I no longer plan on wasting time wishing for life to be Undone. I plan on Living life. Fully facing the "Full-steam Ahead". Determined to be wholly free from the entanglements with which you so desperately try to ensnare my mind.

"(Sisters), I do not consider myself to have embraced it yet. But this one thing I do: letting go those things which are past, and stretching out to the things which are before." Phil 3:13

Bottom line. We are who we are because of those moments. God's intervention in the midst of them. and our choosing to embrace freedom despite them.