I hate watching parents who make empty threats. It makes me uncomfortable. and sometimes a little self-righteous. *groan* God, deliver me from my ego.
Yet. If I'm honest with myself, I'm most likely uncomfortable because I know exactly what they're feeling in that moment. Because there are times when I am soooo tempted to say just about anything in order to bring about the desired results.
The kind where I say some "Magic Combination of Intimidating Words" so that Child A will forever stop hitting, kicking, stealing toys from, and generally harassing Child B.
Hopefully, I don't make giving in to the temptation of "Do Whatever it Takes Discipline" a practice. But man, if I don't have my moments. (Sometimes more often than not, depending on the number of times fore-mentioned harassment has taken place over the span of thirty minutes.)
Discipline is just one of those parental things that is always needed. never fun. and sometimes more costly to us as parents than to the child (like when you have to leave a party because Child thinks being in public means no consequences from parent).
It takes a great deal of patience, a huge amount of wisdom, and an exceptional ability to cover the words/actions with love.
At least if I want the desired outcome of building a deep, meaningful relationship with the child. bringing them to a place where the heart motive changes to become Christ-like. instead of the action just momentarily stopping...until I'm no longer watching.
a relationship that does NOT center around Parental Dictatorship. You know, the whole "As long as your under my roof..." mentality.
God save me from ever saying that! Because I believe that if I were to make that "You will do what I say. Period" mentality a regular part of my interaction with my children, then chances of ever having a REAL relationship with them...outside of the miraculous intervention of Jesus... are slim to none.
It sounds so obvious. Outcome behind Door #1 VS. Outcome behind Door #2
One one hand you have: Immediate desired response born out of fear of mean parent...where Parent will never be a person Child wants to emotionally confide in or trust.
On the other hand there's: Parent DYING TO SELF and embracing the longgggg process of the child's heart attitude changing out of a mature fear and love of the Lord. where Child knows that Parent loves them no matter what because of the attitude Parent has shown when really really reallllllly angry with Child.
Hm. Which to choose? Which to choose?
Yeah, the answer seems so obvious from this comfortable position behind a computer doesn't it? ;)
But it's not as easily a "Duh" moment when you are tired, pushed to your limit, pregnant, being pulled in five different directions at once, and so sick of administering the exact same instruction over and over and over again.
Honestly? Parenthood scares me just a bit. Okay...so a lot. People fail at it every day. I fail at it every day. in a million small ways over and over again.
There are nights where I sit on the couch with Jet and just cry...asking him if he thinks our girls will grow up and think me to have been a horrible mom.
if they'll only remember the moments where I didn't guard my heart...or mouth...as I administered discipline. if their memories will be filled with the times where I crushed their spirit because they shattered an expensive piece of ...whatever.
I want so deeply to be able to choose His patient way in that moment where I feel less than able to control my outward action.
I want so deeply to be able to embrace his discipline in my life....the LOOOONNNNGGG process of changing the heart attitude of the child (ME) out of a mature fear of the Lord, where Child (ME) knows that Parent (GOD) loves them no matter what.
Because ONLY THEN, can I can mirror that concept to my own children in the heat of the moment. instead of embracing ever-present Temptation to say Anything.
