"You don't know me but..."

The most precious phone call I've ever received came today. via a woman I've never met.


So I confess. I totally screen my calls. Once we got caller ID, I was hooked. "Oh...it's the person running for re-election calling to ask me for my vote? Hm. Sor-ry. Not home."

Or "Huh. It's my husband calling to apologize for that stupid thing he did this morning? Hm. Sor-ry. I want to ignore you for just a little while longer." Wha? Me?? do something like that? Nah. I'm farrrrrrr too mature. *ahem*

Yeah, I'm totally digging this new found Phone ESP.

So this morning when I saw a name come up on the caller ID that I didn't know, I hesitated. Do I really want to deal with yet another wrong number?

(Some phantom Rodriquez family gives out OUR number to THEIR creditors. Over the last 5 years, I'd guess we've had at least 200 calls from creditors across the nation. Oh, as well a *bonus* call from an impatient attorney. ALL looking for that elusive Rodriquez family. Sometimes, when they've REALLY exhausted their options in tracking down the R. Fam, they start to harass me: not believing me when I say I am not them, don't know them, and don't live with them. Grrr. But I digress...)

Despite my bad experiences with numbers I don't recognize, I answered the phone. I'm wild like that.

"Hello?" I answer in my firm voice, primed and ready to reprimand the poor, uninformed creditor on the other end of the line.

CALLER: "Is this Christin?"

Okay, so that doesn't sound like a wrong number. "Um, yes?"

CALLER: "Well, you don't know me, but..."

I spent the next ten minutes talking to an elderly woman who called me for no other reason than she saw my last name in the phone book. A last name that shares her heritage.

CALLER: "I really love learning about geneology. Can you tell me anything that you know about your last name? It's mine too."

Have you ever heard of anything so sweet? Can't you just see it? A sweet older lady thumbing through the phone directory on a Saturday morning...coming to my last name...timidly picking which one to call (they're aren't many in this area)...and then striking up a conversation with a total stranger just because she knows we have one thing in common.

Oh. my. word. I wanted to hug her.

I told her what I knew, laughed with her, and answered questions about myself. And out of the blue she then said, "I'd just love to meet you guys. I turn 80 soon, and there are a couple of other (my last name) in the area and I'd love to have you guys all come and help me celebrate."

Okay, so my heart melted on the spot. Does this woman not have family? Is she looking for people to help her celebrate the last years of her life? in the phonebook??!! Oh my goodness, I wanted to hug her. Have I mentioned that yet? because I really did. :)

I assured her that we'd be HONORED to help her celebrate. And man, you should have heard her. Her voice got all high as she laughed in delight. :)

And yes, she does have family, I asked. She told me more about herself, sounding completely giddy that the conversation was going so well. She repeatedly said that we'd definitely have to meet...especially being that I have five daughters.

Because really, what person over the age of 50 can resist a posse of little sisters? :)

I do believe I may have just been adopted by a grandmother type. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Priceless Pictures

The days of high school sometimes yield friendships that last beyond the cliques, the immaturity, and the fact that after graduation people scatter all over the country.

Last year after Alana was born, I had the privilege of getting reacquainted with just such a friend. Lisa.

I wish I had old pictures of us handy. But here we are, 19 years after we first met. (Oh. my. word. That statement alone just grayed a few hairs)


I've mentioned her before, when she took our family pics last year. That photography session was the first time I had seen her in YEARS. Since then, we've gotten to rekindle our friendship. *This is me smiling just thinking about her*

Well, I got to see her recently. where she happened to bring along her beast of a camera so she could take a few pictures of my newest addition. and some of the other little people that were hanging around. ;)


Raquel. 17 days old.




Proud Daddy. Smitten, yet again.

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." Anne Geddes

Alana. 15 months old.

You can tell she was still trying to figure out why this strange new person kept pointing that enormous, beast of a camera (compared to my little one anyway *grin*) at her and her sisters.

Even then, baffled look and all, I think she's still shockingly photogenic and completely adorable. In my totally unbiased opinion, of course.



Raegan. 33 months.

My little mini-me in both spirit and appearance.



Selah. 5.5 years.

This look says it all. She's as compassionate as they come. always loving on her sisters. crying if she accidentally hurts them. making it her mission to make them laugh when they're sad.


Charis. 7 years.

My little girl who wants so badly to be big. always asking to help. to cook. to do all the things that I do.


I love how in this day and age, we, as parents have the means to document a moment of our children's quickly passing childhood. But I especially love how Lisa not only captures the moment, but an essence of who they are in every shot.



And that, to me, is entirely priceless being that one day pictures will be all I have of the NOW.

Pictures where I can look into the eyes of the little girl in the photo and clearly remember the spunk, sweetness, or spirit of the moment.

Thank you, Lisa. For both your friendship and your giving my older self (yearrssss down the line) access back to this season in life. Because I know looking at these pictures will always bring a smile to my face. and maybe a tear or two. ;)

ALERT: Jailbreak

We're breaking free today and heading out to spend the day with a friend and her littles.

Email excerpt for memory sake:

"You should have seen the girls when I told them what we were doing tomorrow...they jumped and danced and hugged each other. It was almost sad. Am I that much of a prison warden? keeping them housebound, under lock and key? Pitiful, I tell you.

Can't wait to see you as we attempt Prison Break tomorrow... I'll TRY to leave the coordinating orange jumpsuits at home.

Though, I do have to say it does help in the overall keeping track of them."

If you see us around town, proceed with caution. Apparently my girls haven't been out in a while. They may be slightly scary.

When I return, then I'll invite you to visit my Living Room/School room. Until then...

*Cue Prison Break-esk melo-dramatic music*

Monkey Business. continued.

Update on the previous post (due to questions I've received).

Yes, that's exactly what was meant in the Little House episode. Charles was away on business. Another man was at their house building on an addition. Mrs. Olson was referring to that scenerio ... Thus, "Monkey Business" introduced to my little ones grid of "understanding".

Believe me, it took me off guard. I tried to distract them. talk loud over the TV conversation playing out on the screen before me. fast forward it a bit. anything to take their attention from the 5 seconds I would have rathered they not see.

But nope. the damage had been done. the seeds of curiousity planted. courtesy of Harriet and Nellie Olson.

AND

Since that last post, I've had a few readers email me. telling me about "God's design for Sex" series.

Bam. Bam. One email right after the other. Thanks guys! I will definitely be looking into that one!

For now, I must go get ready. For a playdate that I think I'd rather avoid if it wasn't for the mom. I LOVE her.

Oh Okay, so her children are amazing as well. Too amazing! For her oldest boy is the one that awakened all this "lovey dovey" stuff in the heart of my daughter.

She even made an "I love you" card. Pop Up style. I kid you not.

I tried to tell her as gently as possible that you don't just go around giving people those kinds of cards. because she doesn't even know him yet.

To which she promptly replied. "Well, I'll ask him all about himself today. and tell him all about myself. And then, I'll give him the card."

Well then. What's left to say? Let the playdate begin...

Sound the Alarm

The girls and I have been watching Little House on the Prairie. My niece has the entire series on DVD. And we've been slowly (sometimes not-so-slowly) going through the each Season's Episodes.

"Willy go sound the alarm! Tell every man you can get to meet us at the old well."

Mr. Olson yelled this as he began to run around his storeroom gathering supplies.

Camera pans to little Willy, sprinting to the little church/school house to ring the bell. A bell's toll that would bring men from all over their county.

Farmers would drop their hoe, leaving their crops unfinished. Woodcrafters would stop building the very house whose completion will bring money to feed their family. Mr. Olson would give equipment off his own store's shelves, essentially taking whatever profit he would have made and giving it away.

All because there was a need. All because someone sounded the alarm.

They were a community. A group of stranger brought together by two things: a love for the wilderness and a spirit of adventure that brought them to unclaimed land.

Yet they allowed this commonality to bind them. to make them family.

To the extent that, when a need arose, they worked together. Even into the middle of the night. giving up food, time spent with their own family, profit, and sleep.

Simply because someone needed them.

My mind seems completely incapable of seeing something like this...of being emotionally moved by something like this...without asking myself how I would react if I were a part of their community.

...without stepping back and taking a good look at how I do react as a part of my present-day community.

Do my friends know they can count on me like this? that I would drop everything to come to their aid in the face of tragedy? Have I gone out of my way to make this clear? to show, not by words, but by actions that I willl their need as my own?

Does my church family know this? People who may not hang in the same circle I do, but who worship with me on a weekly basis. who sit beside me while we listen to pastors speak of mirroring Jesus.

But more so...do people not close to me know this? people who are only bound to me because we're neighbors. or because we go to the same library. or because I happen to the be the person nearest in proximity to them at the moment need arises.

If someone were to Sound the Alarm, making it known, on whatever level, that they were in need of help... what would my reaction be? Would I be more caught up in the fact that my work will go unfinished? that I may lose some precious sleep? that my bank account may suffer their lack.

Or would I arm myself with Christ's compassion and step out? regardless of the cost to myself?

I ask. but I'm not sure I want to answer. I know my heart's hope. but I'm not sure I want to confess my action's proof. or lack thereof.

"They will know you by your love."

Oh Jesus, may I make You known, Lord, in my every deed. in my positioning myself to serve. even when it may cost me.

Tune my ear to the Alarm...that I might be your feet. the feet that run to comfort those in need.

SuperBowl Sunday

They best things in life sometimes comes in fours...friendship shared between two groups of sisters. The little girls L-O-V-E each other. And it shows all over their faces, doesn't it?

As most of the Unites States gathered to watch grown men roughhouse over a pig-skinned ball, these little people played downstairs in the basement. watching Cars.

playing dollhouse...

and wishing that they were the one rough-housing over the pig-skinned ball.

Three cheers for Team Z and C!

Studly men in the making.

Work out songs. Part 2

THANK YOU. You guys sent enough songs to have me on the computer for WELLLL over two hours last night. Just trying to sort through them all.

Though I have to admit...I laughed at some of the suggestions.

But what do I know? I'm sure somewhere... in some far off place where AM radio is the only option... there is some poor soul motivated individual who gets a hearty workout listening to Wind Beneath My Wings.

I can totally see that getting the blood pumping.

.....
And though I know many a people that loooovvvveeee the 80's and all that it's "creative energy" bestowed upon us, I, admittedly, am not one of those people.

But apparently a lot of you guys are, huh? :)

Exhibit A: Van Halen's "Jump"

Hmm...that may work, I thought, as I naively went to view it on Youtube.

Huh. Right. Well, that was... educational. My thoughts? Don't do that unless you have a large bar of soap. Being that after viewing the video, I had the overwhelming urge to run to the shower.

*Insert me frantically pawing at my eyes yelling Unclean! Unclean!*

Yes. It was that bad. Don't believe me? Go look for yourself at what used to be considered sexy back in the day. But don't say I didn't warn you. It gets ugly. Long hair, skin-tight pants kind of ugly.

But oh how I got the best stomach workout. Belly laughing. (Thanks Crystal! See...I was really reading)

....
And I had no idea about the following. Courtesy of Sara.

"Itunes has FREE podcasts you can download called Podrunner. It is kinda techno music but you can pick what beat you want it at like 150 beats per minute, 180 beats per minute, etc. Its awesome for running, jogging or even walking."

Sweet! Will be looking into that.

....

So what am I looking for you ask? Hmm...well, this go round, being that I only have a limited amount of money on my itunes gift card, these were the criteria:

1. Christian songs. unless totally clean lyrics. I have a mind like a trapdoor when it comes to music and will find myself mindlessly singing what songs I've been listening to.

2. Cannot be something that will immediately whisk me back to 1989. The gym dance floor. clad in braces, glasses, and a purple paisley sweater. wondering if I can sway back and forth cool enough to dance with the 8th grade boyfriend of the week.

One time was enough for me.


3. Has to have a fast beat and high energy. with preferably lots of bass. to drown out the sound of my children exhausted breathing. as I'm only using the songs for when I'm on the treadmill and am in need of a rhythm to keep up with.

...a couple of the songs I picked aren't like this...but they'll be used either for warm-up or cool-down phases.

These are the songs that I'll be adding to my Workout Repertoire over the next little while:

Shackles (Praise You) by Mary Mary
Stomp by Kirk Franklin
Freedom by Nicole C. Mullen
Extreme Days Remix by Toby Mac
Catchafire by Toby Mac
I like to Move it by Reel 2 Reel
Fast and Furious by Grits
Unbreakable by Fireflight
Moving by Group 1 Crew
I'm letting go by Francesca Battistelli
One more round by Barlow Girls
Undignified by David Crowder Band
Lets Go Back by Everyday Sunday
Anything is possible (mix of life album) by Zoegirl


If you think of any more, keep the suggestions coming! I'm off to the treadmill.

Jammin' out to...?

Thanks to mi padre, I grew up in the gym. I remember from a very young age accompanying my dad to his friend's basement gym set-up, where a select group of guys worked out. I remember picking up the itty-bitty weights and doing arms curls. to the tune of 1lb. handgrips.

So because of that, I grew up with a love for fitness. And to this day, I still have a motivation to stay in shape.

Even though, at times, it remains just that. A motivation...and not an action. *wry grin*

But now, as I stare my too-small wardrobe in the face I feel called to action. So this past Sunday I asked two friends to join me in making fitness goals and sticking with them. keeping each other accountable and revving up our competitive drives in knowing that someone else was out there doing what we "should" be.

So now I ask you... would you help? I'm in need of upbeat, fun workout-type songs that I can download off of itunes.

I had already asked Tracy (a blog-bud from NY) for some suggestions a while back...to which she directed me to Toby Mac. Got one song ("Ignition") and love it! Makes me workout harder. *thanks, Trac*

If you have a favorite workout song leave a comment (or send me an email if you so choose) telling me what songs you'd suggest. I don't have scads of time to go through the Itunes lists...so will you help a girl out and share your fav. upbeat song?

My sagging boot-ay and 20 extra pounds would so appreciate it.

Walking Hand in Hand

This is how I've felt these past couple of months....Supported on all sides as I move forward in this walk towards Christ.

As I've been putting more and more out there, in the form of blog, I've had so many women from around the globe write me letters, encouraging me to no end. I LOVE getting your emails. Love it. *thank you*

But because my computer seems to hone in on your emails as well... booting them from its system before I even know what happened...I am planning on posting some of them on here. With your permission, of course. But that way, years from now, my girls and I will have them to look back on.

Long after I've sent this rebel Toshiba to the junk pile.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christin,

I'm your read-only friend (that you didn't know you had) in Kansas.

I've read your blog for the past 2 years, after praying for a mentor--I found your blog, totally by accident. I prayed, knowing that this mentor would probably be one with whom I wouldn't have time to do coffee twice a week- and I specifically asked for a mentor whose homeschooling life and heart would be transparent.

In a way, I asked that I could somehow eavesdrop on another mother's heart-cry as she walked this road of homeschooling, living in faith.

I prayed for a relationship of an honest friend, one whom would share her heart- preferably someone just a few steps ahead of me on the journey- in experience with homeschooling and living in faith in general.

Your blog has been a precious answer to a mentoring relationship for me.

I check in about twice a week, and love seeing what you're up to! I live in Western Kansas, and work part-time, our kids are 6, 4, 2--so there's always something going on...

I say all of this as introduction, because it feels kind of creepy to tell you that I love your honesty, and the joyful heart that you carry, when we probably won't ever speak face-to-face. You walk in such a way as to know the Father's ways, not just His acts.

So, by way of introduction, I promise I'm neither:
1) crazy or
2) an axe-murderer.

Anyhow, your post today got me off the read-only bench. I'm writing with simple words-- not of wisdom or prophesy-- just a word of hope, life, encouragement.

I'm so sorry for the onslaught of bills and financial ick that you and your family are experiencing. I will be praying, hoping for you and your family- and for the outpouring of favor & promises realized of which He has spoken to you!

A quick review of what I've learned, so far... things that He continues to remind me of daily.... God is good. God is a God of hope, promise, and not of scarcity. (there is a lot more that I've learned, of course, these 2 things stuck out as important in writing this email)

I've really been blessed by reading your blog, thank you.
Amy

------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Used with permission. Thank you, Amy. As you know, your letter made my morning.

The wonderful world of Blog.

The odd thing about putting it all out there, in the from of Blog, is that people read it. Shocking revelation, I know. But tis true. tis true.

And as with anything else that people read...people judge. It just comes with the territory.

I suppose as a blogger, you could pick and choose what side of yourself that you want to display. The funny side. The deeper side. The confused. The motherly. The... on and on the list of human traits continues.

For me, I had determined long ago that I was just going to go with whatever I was feeling at the time. I wasn't going to try and showcase any one part of me...or of our family. I just want to be completely real.

Because years from now, I want my children's children to be able to read this and have a full understanding of who their grandma is/was....and who their mommy was as a little girl.

(Shew. now if that isn't a weird thing to call yourself: 'grandma')

Anyway.

With my just putting it all out there, I know that I run the risk of people making loads of assumptions about me. about my heart. and my life.

Is that why I've taken off the ability to comment? NO. (this is why) I actually love people commenting. Please email away!! GvnJCmyALL@aol.com

But what I don't appreciate is someone reading my blog once. and then making negative generalizations about me. as if they were infallible facts.

That said.

One of my most recent blogs created quite a stir. I received more emails regarding that blog than any other since I removed comments from my blog site.

But in the first email I received... I was accused of being indifferent to scripture, as well as being in sin because I was "wrestling with God" over my feelings....among other things (and yes, I am serious...I have her emails in front of me).

I've debated back and forth over whether to even share some of the harsh comments that I received from that one woman. But have ultimately decided against it. Regardless of how she sees me, I still feel some sort of desire to protect her even though she is a stranger to me...as well as to my blog.

Her emails (there were multiple of them as she and I "conversed" during the course of a day) disturbed me to the extent that I called one friend and emailed two more (this gal and this one) to ask them to read my posts and tell me if I am off, deceived, or just plan wrong. I picked them because
1. I know them to be heartfelt believers. and
2. I knew that they'd tell me the truth and not just what they thought I'd want to hear.

They, in fact, encouraged me beyond belief. (thank you guys) And then...by God's divine timing...the emails started to pour in from, literally, across the globe.

People thanking me for the exact post the one reader pummeled me for. Their emails were filled with how the Spirit used my writing to bring refreshment to their hearts and hope to their current circumstances.

And so my heart was refreshed as well.

...I told my friend that if anything I was glad for the emails from that one stranger. That though I didn't appreciate some of the things she said nor the obvious judgements she held against me and her assumption of my walk with Christ, her accusations only caused me to draw nearer to Him.

And for that I am thankful.

This world of Blog is an odd one. Friendships are created...deep ones...with people you may never meet. People put their heart out there again and again, sharing their life's story with the masses. Women connecting with women...and in some cases, being drawn to the Father heart of God through these connections. in others laughing hysterically together over the daily trials of mothering these little monkeys we like to call children.

I cherish each one of you guys as readers. You encourage me, challenge me, and bring joy to my days.

You remind me that even though this season of my being home with the Littles can feel like a lonely one at times...that there are thousands upon thousands of you out there. experiencing the same thing. making the same sacrifices. and living, essentially, the same life.

this layed down life of Motherhood that some of us have been asked to walk. this blessing of simply being a Woman, regardless of the particular life calling.

Thanks for taking the time to read my random thoughts...to care about the ins and outs of our days...to press together with me, into the Throne room of the Lord.

I will continue to write, not for the masses, but for my children. my own sanity. and for the One to whom my soul longs. I'm just so honored that you've decided to join me in the journey.

Practicing for later...

Saturday morning, bright and early, we bundled up the girls against the *bitter cold* Because we needed to head church for the children's Christmas play practice.

How the directors (Wendy, Julie, and Reatha) do all that they do with this yearly play is beyond me! But somehow they get the kids to quiet down and listen AND learn all the many lines, hand motions, dances, songs, etc!

Sydney, at almost 12 years old, stood out among all the littles. (Charis is standing on a riser beside Syd)

The play is for the 1st-6th graders. But I'm thinking Sydney was one of the ONLY 6th graders to agree to be a part of it. (I think there were two more...?)

At one point during the practice all I could think, as I watched the different groups of kids up on stage was:

"Oh my word! One of these boys may someday date one of my girls."

It was a sobering thought. trying to image one of these rowdy elementary school boys as young men. driving to my house to pick up my daughter. Yikes.

So I took out my trusty pen and paper. determined to take note of the boys that weren't listening. One day this information may come in handy, you know.

"You want to date my daughter? well...you DO realize that I was there Christmas of '08, don't you? I SAW what you did." :)

...

I knew that Charis was singing a solo. I knew that she had two short "one-liners". But I had no idea that there is a portion of the play where she narrates. from memory.

Twice.

That girl is like a sponge. I hadn't worked with her on those lines. I never saw her practicing them. She just picked it up along the way...reciting it without pause at practice.

Nah, I'm not proud or anything.

While Charis practiced, Selah was off-stage doing the hand motions to the songs. She's a part of the 3-4 year old class that will come up on stage at some point and join in the singing.

Raegan, who's been listening to the practice CD at home with the Big Girls, knew all the songs as well. :) She will NOT be joining them up on stage.

I have a feeling this lack of "stage presence" may be a battle for us come Play time.

After practice was over, a bunch of the kids ran around church playing "Tag". As I called my girls over to get their coats on, Isaac (another 1st grader) ran over to Charis and said,

"I'll see you tomorrow, Charis. You can chase me all you want then. Okay? Tomorrow."

Was this kid asking my girl out? practicing for the play and future pick-up lines? Uh-huh. Out came my handy-dandy notebook. That little guy is getting written up. *grin/wink*

Too bad sickness kept us from church the next day. *cough cough*

My beautiful, sweet family...

I've mentioned Lisa before, the photographer who recently took our family pictures. But I have to mention her again, as I "unveil" my favorites.

How she was able to get these pictures is beyond me! Being that Raegan stayed still for a whopping 1.2 seconds.

But she not only captured their individual beauty, but their personalities as well.


Our Clan of Girls...


The whole motley crew...

Lisa, your ability to capture my family in all their beauty and spirit... well, those photos made me realize just how deeply I love my life.

And I couldn't be more sincere.

**again, if you're in the PA, MD, VA area and want to use this photographer, email me at GvnJCmyALL@aol.com

A bit of sarcasm to remember Me by...

The Second Trimester, that is.

The following is an email exchange between Jolanthe and I. written during my second trimester "Hallelujah-I-can-finally-eat-again-So-stand-back" Phase. It just makes me laugh, so I'm preserving it for memory sake. :)

*old picture ...but the only one I could find on my computer of us together.

My email to Jolanthe:

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed..."

Confession: I ate M&Ms.

Praise Report: But it wasn't until 3:40pm ... instead of 9:00am.

*grin/wink*

Jolanthe's oh-so-witty response:

Pray with me:

Our Father, which art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, Thy Kingdom come…(fast forward a bit)…

DELIVER US FROM EVIL…

Amen. J

Don't you just love a good friend who not only understands but will also pray you through those "darker" moments? Yeah. I'm richly blessed. *bwah ha ha*

( I'm no longer in that phase. *sigh of relief* In fact, the thought of M&Ms makes me want to hurl. Thank God.)

My Alma Mater Reunion

One of the ONLY normal pictures I took... ...of my dear dear college friends.

December of 1997, I graduated from a state university and headed out to Texas for a year-long training school with YWAM. I was excited about the next step in my life. I was all too happy to leave behind the endless exams, term papers, and deadlines.

But I was NOT looking forward to leaving behind my girls! The ones that I met being a part of the freshman Young Life meetings...and then later got to know on a deeper level as we all joined the university's chapter of FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) . These are the women that became my best friends during my college years.


This is us...after a LONG day of catching up. It's 10:30 PM. We're all exhausted. I'm getting ready to leave. And we suddenly realized that we hadn't taken any group pictures together. Thank goodness for Jana's automatic thing-a-ma-bob on her camera.



Though there were a ton of other girls that were a part of our close group of friends, these are the some of the ones that I hung out with the most. Stephanie, Serena, Heather, Wendy, Jana.

Boating. Long talks over a gallon of ice cream being passed around the apartment living room. Worship. Conferences. Early morning jaunts to the gym. Hanging out with the FCA guys. Getting dressed up for an 80s dance party. Sneaking around in the middle of the night playing pranks on said guys...

Wendy and I actually went driving for an hour, looking for roadkill to pick up. We finally found one very dead, very squished possum. Then, we proceeded to drop it off in a strategic and very specified spot near a guy friend's car as a 8 AM surprise. AND the two of us spent weeks collecting bags and bags of cut that was hair from different hair salons. Just so we could drive, by cover of night, to an apartment complex to slather "grease"...and hair on a guy's car. We never got a picture, but it was a Hairy Car! *gag*

Weren't we horrible?! ;)

But through all the crazy and hard and hysterical and heartbreaking times, these ladies meant so much to me. When I was in the process of ending a destructive relationship, these were my shoulders. my confidants. my encouragements.

When we were all fried from exam week, they'd be there to "decompress" with me. Laughter truly is the best medicine. In fact, I specifically remember Stephanie once telling me that she had read that 5 minutes of hard belly laughter was an amazing ab workout. Soo...being the intelligent, always-up-for-a-challenge women that we were, we layed on her bed and made ourselves laugh like hyenas for as long as possible. We had some pretty tight abs back in the day. *wink*

When we just needed to veg and have a Girls' Night, these were the girls I'd usually hang with. Once there was a planned Friday night All Girl Hang Time with about 12 girls. But I couldn't come due to last minute RA duty (Resident Assistant of a girl's dorm), which meant that I couldn't leave my room all night. I had to be available...in my room...by the phone...and ready to do dorm "rounds" every hour. I was sooo upset.

But they all surprised me by bringing the Girls' Night TO MY ROOM. I walked up to my RA apartment after doing hourly rounds and there they all were. *sweet*

They brought a TV. movie. snacks. Honestly, I don't know that I've ever felt so loved by a group of friends before. I'm sure I cried and laughed at the same time.


All of those times...plus some that will remain hush-hush *laughing*...were these girls.

Years have brought huge changes. Four of us are married with 11 children (plus one on the way) between us! One is training for a National Ballroom Championship. One is hoping to go to Jordan as a full-time missionary soon. One is in the process of planting a church with her husband in the Carolinas. One is doing youth group ministry. One is trying to keep up with her three boys, aged three and under.

We're all busy busy. We're all different than what we used to be. But still after all these years, we had REAL times. Tears. Laughter. Prayer. Bonding over non-stop eating. What's can be better than that? :)

I love these ladies!! Hopefully our plan to make it a early event will happen...

A different season...

For at least four months, I've been throwing back and forth different options regarding this blog. To privatize (only letting a select few read) it completely. Or to cut out the option to comment. Or to do nothing and leave it as is...

But for numerous reasons, I've decided to --for a season-- cut out the ability to comment on my blog and to stop commenting other blogs, though I'll still be reading them to keep up on your lives. It just takes too much time. and too much energy.

Time and energy that I want to focus on my family. on homeschooling with integrity. on diving into the Word of God and pressing into His heart.

Being that I no longer scrapbook, this blog has become both a journal and a scrapbook of sorts for us and for those far-away family and friends.

Though I will keep up with all of those bloggin women who I have gotten to establish relationship with over the last year (via email and hopefully soon some face-to-face visits!). Your stories and your heart for the Lord and for your families inspire me.

But for now, this blog is shut from comments.

So I can just focus on writing for us. To document our lives. The crazy things. The deep things. The God things. The everyday things. And then to put that in book form for my girls.

Closure

The last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. During the day when children loudly play underfoot, there was no time for thinking. or mourning.

Then night would come in all its unavoidable silence. It was in these moments when questions. tears. and pain would emerge.

Jet would just sit and listen as I'd talk and cry and pray, rolling the loss around and around in my head. Things emerged during that private time with my husband that I desire to neither articulate nor share. But for me, those raw moments were the path to closure.

And Today felt like complete closure: The funeral and celebration of her life. A gathering of her family and friends.

During the Celebration, a few of her family shared their hearts. Just hearing them (her brother and sister) speak of the Comfort they've received ...the way that they had seen God in the midst of it...brought immeasurable comfort to my own heart. The Grace that surrounded them somehow covered me.

I know in my heart that Janet dances with the King. And that the King has made a way for those who deeply grieve for her earthly absence. Though I am fully able to embrace my grieve, I also fully embrace Him.

He is faithful. And I choose to wait and watch for His Faithfulness to unfold in this situation. In all its detailed splendor.

Thank you for praying. Please continue to pray for her husband and children. That they will continue to feel surrounded and held. Even after the last flower arrangement has been put away. And the night comes with all its unavoidable silence.

Mommy, are you going to die?

Yesterday, I had the girls sit down with me to pray for "Jessica's Mommy" (refer to previous two posts). They knew her, as most kids identify adults... by their children.

Janet and Jessica had been over here to play. We had gone over to their house to ride horses. Janet taught their Sunday school classes. My girls knew who she was, up close and personal.

So I figured they could pray.

Charis prayed, "Jesus, help Ms. Janet to get better and don't let her die because parents can't die when there are kids still in the house..."

She pauses and looks up at me. "Right, mommy?"

I don't remember what I managed to say.


Today after the news of Janet's death, I was careful not to mention it to them. Not that I aim to shelter my girls from the truth of death. I knew they would find out. But I wasn't ready to go there. I needed to grieve without an onslaught of questions.

And then this afternoon, the phone rang. It was my sister. I quietly asked her if she had heard.... and Charis, who apparently never misses anything, picked up on the one telltale word I used. Because after I got off the phone (10 seconds later) she said, "Did Jessica's Mommy die?"

Yes, honey.

"Why do mommies and daddies die when the kids are still living?"

I don't know....

Tonight, as we let the girls watch our wedding video for the first time, Charis walked over to me and Jet. She spoke of her wedding...and how she'd be a mommy and I'd be a grandma. "And you'll still be living when I have kids, right?" She embraces both of us at once.

*sigh*

How do you explain to a 3 and 5 year old? How do you fill in the blanks for them when you don't have the words (or knowledge)? How do you give them comfort when they just watched their friend lose their mommy? How do you understand all that goes on in their head when you can't even understand half of what's going on in your own? How do you answer the very question that you can't even bring yourself to ask: "Why do mommies die when the kids are still in the house?"

God. As much as we adults need your comfort, I ask that you pour it out on the kids. ...All those young children that Ms. Janet's life touched on intimate levels.

Prayer Request

Our friend has gone to be with the Lord.

Please, please pray for her young family. Four children aged 4 to 17. And especially for her husband, Brian.

And if you have the faith, pray that God would still perform a miracle where a Display of His Glory would unfold. I pray it is so.

In John 11:4 when Jesus heard about Lazarus's illness, his response was: "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory, that God's Son may be glorified through it."

When we are weak...

I cannot think straight tonight. For a friend of mine lies in the hospital fighting for her life. One day she was fine. The next she is in dire need of miraculous intervention.

I've sat in shock all day. Not sure how to respond. Praying. Grieving. Trying to ignore the ache in my heart.

It's moments like these that the Fraility of Life abandons its place of hiding and shows itself...in all its shocking horror. For she is not old. She was not sick, outside of a migraine. There was no huge warning flag.

Oh, God. I don't even know what to say. Accept to ask for your complete healing. For as frail as life may be, You are stronger still.

*no comments allowed

In honor of the Pure in Heart

Last night I had a bunch of high school girls here for a S*ex, Lies, and Chocolate night. Fun times. ;)

I was a public speaker for a while...about s*ex and purity. Just chalk that up as another random fact about me. Random, but poignant. Because it's one of my passions. I love teaching. And I love encouraging people to go after all that God has. In my mind, that cannot be separated from a life of purity. On the inside. As well as what is displayed on the outside.

And by luck of the draw, Katherine (our youth and college ministries pastor) asked me to be a part of this lively little time. Woo-hoo!

So last night Katherine, Wendy, and I laid it ALL on the line for the girls. And I do mean ALL. No, we weren't graphic, but we were gut-level honest. No. Holds. Barred. And in my opinion, that goes a long way.

For how can you resist someone being truly real with you? I've found that people flock to it like a fly on...manure. :) I even had one teen pull me aside at church to comment about how much our uninhibited commentary impacted her...and how God used it to send her a wake-up call.

Uh-huh. Any time, my friend. As long as you adhere to the "What happens in LivingRoom, stays in LivingRoom" rule. hee hee (nothing spoken in that room was allowed to be said outside of that room!)

But anyway, ONE of the things that struck me about the whole night was the integrity of this 20-something woman who is fearlessly leading our young people. Let me explain...

You know how easy it is, when talking to a younger person (or anyone for that matter), to take on the role of confidant, friend, and all-around shoulder to cry on?

"Yeah I know you're hurting. That so stinks that your parent didn't understand you. What a hard life you have. The nerve of your parents being so harsh."

YET the kid is sharing how they are dabbling with things they shouldn't be, hanging with people that are on the road to prison, and spewing words of poison whenever referring to anyone in authority over their life. Not really something I'd call "okay".

But honestly, in my opinion, I think it's all too easy to take the low road in those situations. To focus on the fact that they are hurting, miserable, and crying buckets in front of you. Instead of the sin issues at the heart of it all.

Yes. Those tears and hurts are real and valid emotions. But...what about the fact that they have knowingly chosen that road?!! What about the adult taking a stand on the Word, instead of inwardly reverting to the by-gone years of middle school where wanting to fit in and be popular reigns supreme? You know...sort of not condone it...or condemn it. Just be their friend.

Aw. How quaint. But hello!! Through this obvious lack of correction, it's like giving the okay to "continue on as you were."

Seriously. Do you know what I'm saying?!

I've found that many times after a "s*ex talk" is officially over, I'll be cornered by girls who want to talk more. Honestly? It's sometimes shocking to hear the things they say. It's like they're just wanting me to affirm their bad choices. You know, get the girl who just spoke about God and his redemptive power to give the thumbs up on my current life situation.

Uh. No.

But I have found myself fighting the urge to just sit there, smile, and say "Yeah, I understand" over and over. Thankfully, after picking my mouth off the floor, I locate my backbone, and put it to use. But still...the temptation was there.

Anyway...Katherine and I got to talk briefly before she left. And all I can say is I came away encouraged by the inner strength of this young woman.

Here is a woman who is not just proclaiming the things of the Spirit but also living an inner and outer life to back it up. Ah, quite the breath of fresh air!!

Here is a woman who is not just teaching these students with words, but also by her actions. Who doesn't just preach purity, but also DRESSES purely (Don't even get me started on the fact that Christian women don't seem to mind these days if their bre*asts are hanging out on a near regular basis...due to "style". Seriously. don't. get. me. started.)!

Here's a woman who not only asks these guys to honor God in their every day life, but chooses, herself, to walk that narrow road. Even when it's not easy. convenient. popular. Or in style.

And though I don't know her really well...at least not as well as I hope to in the coming future...I knew, standing there in my dining room at 11PM, that God was knitting my heart to hers. on a deep level.

That He was introducing me to someone who is the real deal. on all levels of pursuing and representing the Lord. And something inside of me got Excited.

I just pray that by the time my girls are in youth group, there will be someone of her caliber to lead them. In love. And in untainted truth.