Today was one of those days. The kind where I met Jet as soon as he got home from work. Outside. On the front porch.
All the while, holding a kid at arm's length. impatiently waiting for him to take her. before promptly marching myself back inside...to go hide far far away from all Little People.
No, nothing bad happened today. Aside from a few outburst from my resident 2 year old, the girls all proved to be amazing specimen of children. ;)
Honestly? I think, as of late this afternoon, the whole "no sugar" thing started to get to me. And it's begun to effect my outlook. my attitude. my motivation.
Ultimately, my heart. (But eh. what's a fast without seeing the true nature of oneself? *insert a roll of the eyes*)
I told Jet that were he not doing this fast with me, today would have been the type of day where I would have thrown my hands up, said I just can't do this, and proceeded to bake a chocolate cake the size of Manhattan. with layers and layers of gooey homemade chocolate icing and...
Oh. *cough* Sorry. This is me coercing. my. brain. into. submission.
Okay. I'm good.
New Years Eve of 2000, the Lord told me that I was entering a year of fasting. By the end of that year, my "fasting muscles" were in amazing shape.
Not so much anymore.
Just like my cardiovascular ability...the one that used to compete in State Track Meets. Because I can barely make it around the block without causing neighbors to call for emergency intervention. by way of an EMT oxygen tank.
That said, I'm way out of shape, physically and spiritually. because I've rather enjoyed living a lazy life.
And let me just tell you, I'm feeling it now. because everything in me is crying out "What do I care? It's just a piece of food. What does it matter in the grand scheme of things?"
I know. Ugly ugly ugly. Weak weak weak.
What it matters is that my flesh is obviously stronger than my spirit. And my desire for immediate gratification via my mouth is sadly greater than my desire to press in to the things of the Kingdom. Ew.
This year, I'm hoping to whip my all my muscles back into shape.
I don't want to be mastered by sugar. or the computer. or the phone. or whatever else presents itself as more enticing than my time spent seeking Jesus. Period.
Yet. even though I struggle, the Lord has proven Himself incredibly incredibly faithful!! (What can I say? I have a penchant for stating the obvious.)
But seriously, every time Jet decides to fast, the heavens literally open up over certain arenas of our life. This time being no different.
I stand in complete AWE of the Work of God in our lives. and can't wait to share things as I can.
