Tread carefully. There are children about.
Have you ever really really thought about the things that you say on a normal basis? No? Well...the solution for that? Have a child. Not married? Borrow mine.
Take hot dogs for example. Suddenly, you can no longer just eat them. No, now you have to explain them.
ME: Uh no, honey. They are not made from someone's pet.
Or how about some of these other examples?...
ME: No. You really can't physically talk someone's ear off. Yes. really.
ME: It's okay. You don't have to actually GIVE them your hand. You're just helping them. (lend a helping hand)
ME: Does the Lord want us to be on fire? Well...um. Anybody ever told you about a metaphor? (being "on fire" for the Lord)
ME: No. A Blessing isn't really wearing a disguise. (I'll let you figure that one out)
CHILD: But I didn't see any present with a white elephant in it anywhere!
ME: No, I guess you really can't draw a blank. I mean...not with a pencil.
ME: Well, I guess technically I didn't BUMP into her. It just means that we ...ran into each other? um. no, that's not right either. We just happened to unexpectedly get together. That sound right?
CHILD: Well, how DO I find something in my heart? Where do I look?
ME: No, just because I put your hair up like this does not mean you are a pig. (pigtail)
CHILD: So do I get my scissors? (cut it out...as in "stop it!")
CHILD: So we're not going to use the car? (hop on over to someone's house)
But after all of those...this one is my personal favorite:
We're looking for someone in a crowd. So naturally, I say to my children: "Keep an eye out for them." My daughter, wanting so hard to be obedient and please me, look at me hard for a minute.
"You want me to take my eye out of my head?!"
Ahh yes. A whole new way to look at the English language...hang with a child.
Have you ever really really thought about the things that you say on a normal basis? No? Well...the solution for that? Have a child. Not married? Borrow mine.
Take hot dogs for example. Suddenly, you can no longer just eat them. No, now you have to explain them.
ME: Uh no, honey. They are not made from someone's pet.
Or how about some of these other examples?...
ME: Well, when they said you were as "cute as a button"...they really meant that... Well...uh? That you're cute. ....No. I don't really think buttons are especially cute either. ....Well, then I don't know why they said that. *exasperated sigh*
ME: No. You really can't physically talk someone's ear off. Yes. really.
ME: It's okay. You don't have to actually GIVE them your hand. You're just helping them. (lend a helping hand)
ME: Does the Lord want us to be on fire? Well...um. Anybody ever told you about a metaphor? (being "on fire" for the Lord)
ME: No. A Blessing isn't really wearing a disguise. (I'll let you figure that one out)
CHILD: But I didn't see any present with a white elephant in it anywhere!
ME: No, I guess you really can't draw a blank. I mean...not with a pencil.
ME: Well, I guess technically I didn't BUMP into her. It just means that we ...ran into each other? um. no, that's not right either. We just happened to unexpectedly get together. That sound right?
CHILD: Well, how DO I find something in my heart? Where do I look?
ME: No, just because I put your hair up like this does not mean you are a pig. (pigtail)
CHILD: So do I get my scissors? (cut it out...as in "stop it!")
CHILD: So we're not going to use the car? (hop on over to someone's house)
But after all of those...this one is my personal favorite:
We're looking for someone in a crowd. So naturally, I say to my children: "Keep an eye out for them." My daughter, wanting so hard to be obedient and please me, look at me hard for a minute.
"You want me to take my eye out of my head?!"
Ahh yes. A whole new way to look at the English language...hang with a child.
5 comments:
Christin,
So cute! They really DO have a literal mind! I am keeping a few notedpads around the house to write down all the funny things my kids say... hopefully they will get put in a nice little scrap/quote book one day!
Hilda Rebecca
Christin,
I forgot to say, that NO I did not eat Fear Factor food! :)
Hilda Rebecca
Too funny! I have had many of those same conversations...more than once!
This is hilarious. The one about drawing a blank made me laugh out loud! You just gotta love kids. :)
So funny!!!
The other way to experience these kinds of moments is to try to teach English to non-native speakers. My time of teaching a Russian lady English, using our common language of Hebrew, was quite interesting...and revealed all these wonderful expressions that we use in English but make absolutely no sense when translated.
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