How to start this one...? How to capture what the Lord is doing in my heart without making him sound like a vulture, taking me down and ripping me to shreds?
thinking...thinking...
Have you ever come to a place in your life where suddenly it's like the heat gets turned up? like you've just entered your very own pressure cooker. One that was designed to soften every hardened place of your life, elbow out every hidden ounce of Self? A place so constricted around your heart that you fear you may suffocate?
Well lucky me, that happens to be my new locale. though I pray it's not a permanent residence.
Ever since Raquel was born, it's as if there was a shift in the atmosphere, an upping of the anty, so to speak. I can't explain it, even to myself, outside of saying that it's like suddenly the game changed.
It's like life went from a game of alley stickball...to the World Series Match.
Everything became that much more significant in the spirit realm around me. And man, if I haven't been feeling it. Suddenly, what was good enough before (the areas where I was content to just slide by) became unacceptable for this new place.
The person I was fine with being before can now no longer exist. You know, IF I am to step into the new place God is calling me to.
Transition from Old to New is never easy, is it? I think we can all relate to the days of our youth where we were "too old to do this...but too young to get to do that". I hated it.
because it felt like I didn't "fit" anywhere.
Now, I know that being a Professional Misfit is not the purpose behind this whole heavenly "shake up". (Thank You God!) I think it's fairly reasonable to assume that the God-inspired Intent is to allow me to become so uncomfortable in my Old Nature...so intrigued by what's in store... that I'll press through to this transition to the other side.
But irregardless of the "point", life in the spirit has been BUSY these past few months.
And because of that, I haven't known how to write down all that's going on. because I'm hearing from the Lord on a daily (if not hourly) basis. I'm dreaming non-stop. the kind of dreams that you know mean something.
I'm watching, in awe, as everything starts to add up. Yet... nothing is showing up.
Meaning, I can feel it in my spirit...We are so close. On the edge of Something. Yet. Here in the seen realm, nothing is happening.
But that's what standing in faith is, right?
"1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11.1
